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pl101
Regular
Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:54 pm Post subject: Is it OK? |
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| My mom has took a turn for the worse in the past 2 weeks. I feel so guilty carrying on each day going to work, spending time with friends to keep me busy and my my mind from thinking about my mom's condition. She has a build up of fluid in her head that is cancerous. The neuro surgeon has drained it once but it came back with even more. They said they cannot do anything more but manage her pains now. They don't understand why this is happening. I am so so sad and a bit angry. Everything was fine during her first 3 sessions of chemo. She was doing excellent and feeling strong. This last round started off fine but then a dramatic turn and everything has went bad very quickly in the last 2 weeks. I feel I'm being so selfish carrying on and not being by her side at the hospital all the time. Today I visited her but she was so sedated she did not know I was there. I am so sad for her. My family and I will meet with her doctor tommorow and will find out what will happen next. Thanks to anyone who reads this. Again, as I said in another post, this forum is so great. I am so happy to have found it. It has helped me tremendously to read what others are going through and all the encouraging words from all the caring people that are on here. |
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pbj11
Site Admin
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 1391
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:19 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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Hi,
I'm sorry to hear about your mom taking a turn for the worse. I don't know how old you are, but from our family experience, I didn't expect my kids to be with my husband and I all the time. We wanted them to live their lives and not let the cancer run them. You work -- period. There may come a time where you will want to be around her and visit more often, but I can't imagine they would expect you to give up your life completely due to her cancer. Stay in contact, monitor the situation, and make sure your Dad has the support he needs. That's about all you can do at this point.
Don't feel guilty or selfish -- it doesn't do anyone any good to harbor those feelings.
Wishing you the best.
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 |
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bayougir1
New User
Joined: 19 Jul 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:27 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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| I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. I understand exactly how you feel. I'm trying to spend as much time with my mom as possible. I have 2 small children who don't understand how sick their MeMe is. Do I deprive them of anything fun during this sad time?? Do I put my life on hold? Do we not do anything else? Right now, both of my kids are sick, so we have to stay away from my mom and I feel SO BAD about not being able to go see her. I even feel guilty about shopping, since that is something my mom loved to do and will never do again. |
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pl101
Regular
Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 4:57 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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| Thank you both so much for replying. My mom lost her battle last night at 11:02 PM. It all happened so fast. |
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bayougir1
New User
Joined: 19 Jul 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 8:35 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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I am so very sorry.  |
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brainman
Chief Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4422
Location: Tennessee
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pbj11
Site Admin
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 1391
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| Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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I'm so sorry to read this news. My heartfelt sympathy on your loss. We will be here if you need to talk.
God bless you and yours.
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 |
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pl101
Regular
Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:51 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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| Thank you everyone. Thank you so much for the kind words. |
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idobelieveinfairies
Experienced user
Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 58
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:16 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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| I am sorry for the loss of your mother. |
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karolynca
Experienced user
Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:08 pm Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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Dear friend, I am so sorry for your loss, my dad lost his battle too last Monday July 21st, I know what you are going thru. I wish there were words that could comfort your pain but there are many. I will hold you in my prayers asking for strenght for you and your family.
_________________
Dad ~ Passed away from Multiorgan failure due to secondary liver cancer on July 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=34365 |
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JLC
Regular
Joined: 18 May 2008
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:44 pm Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in June. There just aren't any words. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
JLC
_________________
Dad ~ diagnosed with EC in 2001 and cancer free since 2003.
Mom ~ Passed away June 2008 from pancreatic cancer. |
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mymaria
Experienced user
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 57
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| Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:53 pm Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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I am sorry...
_________________
Dallas, TX |
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rmaureen
Experienced user
Joined: 06 Oct 2005
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 9:04 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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My heart goes out to you, you and your family are in my prayers.
Rhonda |
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bluek
Regular
Joined: 29 Apr 2008
Posts: 21
Location: Mesquite Texas
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:07 am Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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| I am so sorry you lost your Mom. You are in my thoughts and my prayers. I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer on March 30. I lost my husband to colon cancer on December 5, 2004. Leave on the Lord and he will give you strength aand peace. |
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cinnabon64
Regular
Joined: 18 Jul 2008
Posts: 22
Location: Manitoba Canada
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:36 pm Post subject: Re: Is it OK? |
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[quote="pl101"]. My mom lost her battle last night at 11:02 PM. It all happened so fast.[/quote]
Oh Dear,
I know exactly how you are feeling as I just lost my mom just one very short week ago. July 30/08. A date I will never forget. My heart hurts for you as well. We still don't know all the details as to what cancer she all had, other than lung. 11 days isn't enough days to even absorb the shock of Cancer, let alone lose her in that amount of days.
I pray God will keep you in His care as I know He will me. I so sorry
_________________
Cinnabon
My Mom diagnosed with Lung Cancer
tumor surrounding Superior Vena Cava
on July 18/08
died July 30/08
testing never completed, many questions unanswered |
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