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Boyfriend with Lung Cancer What is this ?

 
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Daydreamer4045
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Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Posts: 1
Location: Boston
PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 1:29 am    Post subject: Boyfriend with Lung Cancer Reply with quote
I found out 3 weeks ago that my 23 year old boyfriend of nearly 2 years has lung cancer. I knew he was seeing doctors and had been sick before then but he kept me out of the loop entirely-to the point that I almost broke up with him because he kept blowing me off and I didn't understand why. He broke up with me right after he finally told me about his condition. He said I was too young to be dragged into all this and that I had my whole life ahead of me. He said he didn't want me to be there when he gets really sick. I am utterly devastated. People around me seem to think that pushing me away is a strange reaction....is it? I also don't know whether to keep in touch with him or not. After we broke up he told me "not to be a stranger" and last week even called me on my birthday and left a message-but when i called him back he didnt pickup and he hasn't returned my call in two days. I sense that this is as hard for him as it is for me. Any advice on how to cope and how i should go forward in terms of my relationship with him would be greatly appreciated.
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brainman
Chief Admin


Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4422
Location: Tennessee
PostPosted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:30 am    Post subject: Re: Boyfriend with Lung Cancer Reply with quote
Daydreamer4045, I am very sorry about your boyfriend's cancer and how he is pushing you away. This is by no means a rare reaction... even for married people. They think they are protecting their loved ones but in fact they are causing more pain.

Unfortunately, there is not much you can do. If the two of you were married or living together, I would tell you to confront him with how his cancer is affecting you even if he is trying to "protect" you. But since your relationship has not evolved to that point, there is very little you can do.

The only thing you can do is keep letting him know that you care about him and are available to help. Don't call every hour... but send him cards and leave messages on his phone occasionally.

You and your boyfriend are in my thoughts and prayer.
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1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
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My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
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