blamejane
New User
Joined: 05 Jun 2005
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 11:37 pm Post subject: dad has NSCLC with brain mets and will not be cooperative |
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After having trouble with his balance, my dad was dx with NSCLC (March 2005) w/3 brain mets. He was treated with whole brain radiation (3 weeks - I think) and has just finished his 3rd session of chemo (5 hours every 21 days).
His oncologist gave him a prognosis of 20 weeks without treatment, and 40 weeks with treatment. However, when researching metastatic brain tumors, I find the prognosis is an average of 1 month without treatment and 3 to 4 months with treatment. Needless to say, I'm very confused by the discrepancy between what the oncologist said and what I've read.
At 73, my dad has dropped from his average weight of 165 lbs to just 130 lbs. In the last 3 weeks, I have seen him go from using his walker (getting around the entire house) to his current state of severe immobility. About the only thing my dad can do for himself is to feed himself, and even that looks as if I'll be taking over soon. I believe he would be confined to the bed if it weren't for my husband, who, with the help of the wheelchair, moves my dad to the recliner each morning, and back to bed each evening.
He experiences an average of 3 small seizures per week; currently taking 3 anti-seizure pills each night.
In discussing my dad's recent (seemingly fast) decline, the oncologist simply shrugs and suggests a physical therapist. I feel like my dad will not last another two weeks, and the oncologist gives me the feeling that he could indeed walk again. Why is that?
He now has stage I pressure points over his entire bottom; which I understand is due to his weight loss and immobility.
My dad does not seem to be affected by the side effects one usually associates with chemo. He is never ill and never complains. Does this seem normal?
In addition to the effects of his cancer, my dad is also dealing with an enlarged prostrate, which, among other symptoms, has him urinating 6 to 8 times each night. This is complicated by the fact that my dad can no longer manage to use his bedside urinal and refuses to wear attends. For the last few nights I have assisted him with the urinal, so that we can avoid wetting the bed.
At this point I'm exhausted, and no longer feel I can take care of my dads needs. Sadly, this means moving my dad to a nursing home, and like the attends, he will not agree. I don't see as I have any other choice, as my husband must return to our home in Montana (we've been in my dad's home in CA for the last 5 weeks), leaving only myself to care for my dad. I just don't see that it's possible, and truthfully I want to go home. I never thought it would be this difficult... and I hear it will only get worse.
My dad will not agree to drinking more water than it takes to down his meds, will not agree to use the hospital bed, had a fit when my husband built a wheelchair ramp, and refuses to switch positions in order to combat the bed sores.
I feel like such a loser for wanting to go home, but I just don't think I can continue.
...thanks for listening.
Any replies (good or bad) would be appreciated. |
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