This is all new to me, and I don't know what to think! Help.

aisha1

Hi,

I am a 27 year old female. I have two kids aged 8 and 4.

For the past 5 months I have been having nose bleeds from my left nostril only. I also have headaches on my left side that last for about 20 or 30 minutes and go. I have also had a cough for 4 months that will not go. I have been steadilyt putting on weight in this time, and it is kind of like a slightly bloated weight.

About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I found a lump in the hollow of my neck, about the size of a golf ball. It is hard and does not hurt. I went to the doctor and he said it was probably thyroid problems, I went to have blood tests and they came back saying that my thyroid is working fine, but my body is showing signs of 'fighting something'. He kept it all very mysterious and then went on to say that I shouldn't worry.

I can feel this lump restricting my throat and I told him, but he said it was psychological, and that because I know the lump is there, I am more aware of my breathing - but I feel like someone has there hands around my throat at night when I lie down. I also wake in the morning with LOTS of air trapped behind this lump and I burp really loudly.

I went back to him, and he sent me for a chest x ray. He called me because the chest x ray said:

"Heart size is normal.
There is a widening of the left paratracheal stripe in keeping with the underlying adenopathy in this area. A slightly prominant right hilar region is also noted. The lungs and plural surfaces are clear. In view of these findings urgent referral to the chest physicians together with a CT scan is advised."

So, my doctor called me and managed to speak to a consultant he knows at the hospital, and I was sent for a CT scan the next day (which I appreciate is speedy). I had the CT scan yesterday and they have focused on three areas. They scanned my whole body, then went back to my neck, my chest (breast plate kind of area) then further down in my abdomen. I'm guessing that they had seen something further down as well, when they first scanned my whole body.

My mum died of cancer aged 43 and had it for 7 years, coming and going. It started under her arm, and I was 14 when she died, so I don't know much about what she went through.

I am worried about my kids. They have separate dads and I don't want them to be separated at a time like this. If I am sick, and need treatment, they will go to different dads.

Sorry about the novel! I wanted to try and include everything. Oh yeah, I am getting sharp shooting pains along my left collar bone, and I have irregular, heavy periods.

I don't know what to think! I don't smoke (never have) and I don't drink (never even had a glass since I became pregnant 9 nears ago). I am ususally healthy.

ChemoMan

Hi aisha1

So sorry to see you posting here with such distressing symptoms. You need to take a deep breath and calm down, as hard as it is, for your own sake and your family. Rule number 1 is Don't panic.

You have done the right thing in seeing a doctor when you did so give yourself a pat on the back. proactive is the way to go and you have been proactive and believe me this will go in your favor big time ! The doctors are onto it from my reading of your post so take heart in that. I have suspicions in what is going on but without more information I am only guessing, but I have a feeling you posted to the right forum. Don't worry yourself too much medical science has come a long way in the last 10 years especially when it comes to cancer treatment.

When you have some results and know what is going on come back and hopefully we can offer some support. We are always here to help.

Don't forget rule 1 and good luck.
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
Remission confirmed 17 June 2009
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget Rule number 1

aisha1

Oh man! What a speedy reply!

They said that it usually takes a week for the results to come back, but I think it might take a few days.

Because this is all very new - I don't have a consultant and so they (the results) are being sent back to my GP. I am even thinking of phoning them today because they can only say "no, they aren't back" really can't they?

I read my last post and realised that I had written "there" instead of "their" in one place. I hate making that mistake and I guess I am nervous.

Oh well. I just have to sit and wait and see what the CT scan says. They had injected me with something called contrast to enable things to show up more. Thought I was going to wet myself actually! What a weird feeling!

Anyway................

I'll reply when I get my results.

Cheers. Aisha.

ChemoMan

Hi

I know what you are saying about the CT Laughing

The last one I had was even more intense than all the others and it felt I was wetting myself and pooping Tabasco sauce at the same time Laughing

I noticed a cheery note there keep it up Smile

never lose your ability to have a laugh

Dont forget rule 1....wishing you good luck Exclamation

_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
Remission confirmed 17 June 2009
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget Rule number 1

aisha1

Ok.................

I have the results of my CT scan! The doctor has called me and said that it shows a lump in my hilar region about the size of a matchbox and the one in my neck is bigger.

He said that he wants to be honest with me, and said that it does look suspiciously like cancer. The problem is, they need to do a biopsy and they need to get through my trachea, but my trachea is surrounded by the other sweeling/lump.

I've been told that I have an urgent referral to a consultant at my hospital and he will call me instead of sending a letter, and this will be faster. The doctor also told me that I will have some sort of intensive treatment but it looks like they have caught it relitively early.

I'll keep you updated, but one more thing.....

This morning my jaw on my left hand side has been aching, from my chin along to my ear. Is this normal? It feels like it's in my bone.

I'll write again soon.

Aisha Laughing

aisha1

Hi!

A woman called me from the hospital and said that she was the secretary of the consultant haematologist (is that how you spell it?). I have an appointment with them on wednedsay - in 6 days to talk about things.

I want someone to PLEASE reply, and tell me if it is normal for me to be seen by a haematologist? Does this mean that it is lukaemia? I'm confused! Is this likely to be the best doctor to see if it is lymphoma? Are they mistaken, or are they aware of something that I am not?

Please help!

xxx

ChemoMan

Hi

Yes it is most likely a blood cancer if the haematologist is involved, but it might not even be cancer. Please try and relax even if your worst fears are realised blood cancers are easily treated these days and the remission rates are very high. At this point you don't know what you have so you really can't jump to conclusions, but you do need to relax a bit. I know this is nerve wracking I have been through it myself but getting wound up is not going to do you any good.

I am hoping that you never post back, because that would mean you dont have anything serious but if you do, find out what type and stage of CA you have and get back to us. Best wishes and good luck
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
Remission confirmed 17 June 2009
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget Rule number 1

aisha1

Hi,

I'm not really THAT worried. To tell you the truth I have had the feeling that this was cancer from the beginning. As soon as I felt something in my neck because I am never ever sick. I never even catch colds.

I had a feeling from the beginning. I am usually the kind of person that hates to waste the doctor's time, and I let my body get over things naturally, rather than taking medicine. This time, I was persistant with the doctor, as I would usually be shy. Even when he shrugged it off as nothing, I told him that it is very unusual for me to have a cough for 4 months and I told him that I never get nose bleeds either, but have had a lot recently. It was because I sat there and patiently explained that I am certainly not myself, that he sent me for an x ray - and look what happened! Laughing

I have been expecting this anyway, and I kind of know that my own body is trying to get to grips with something. I'm not scared, I just don't know what to do with my kids, because if I go through treatment, they have different dads and I don't want this to mash up their heads.

I think the haematologist is the best person to see about this, at least he will be able to sort out the best options to do.

Anyway, worry will not make me any better. In fact it can only have a negative effect and I can't have that at this point.

I know you are trying to calm me down, and seriously, I appreciate it. I feel like I just have to sort this out, and then get on with my life. I'm not a stranger to problems. I actually have had so many problems, that the things I consider small problems, other people collapse under. I am very good at managing lots of things at once. Which is probably why my boss just wants me to "Work really hard full time so when you have your biopsy, at least we will not be behind in this organisation". What a prick. All he cares about is who is going to run things while I'm away. He said that the business can't cope unless I'm there!

Anyway............I'm just rambling now! Rolling Eyes

I'll be off. Back again, whether it's good or bad. I'll keep you updated.

By the way, in my religion (I'm Muslim) we don't get worried over being put through trials. In fact it is a form of purification. You will never be able to appreciate the good things that you consider 'normal' unless you have tasted something sour. That's why we have ramamdan (fasting). It's to remind us that food is not just a feature in our lives, it is a gift and a pleasure. You should think yourself lucky when you eat because lots of people can't.

However bad you think things are, there's always someone else with something even worse - believe me. So we should be grateful for everything. Good and bad. It is good for our soul.

x

aisha1

Ok........sorry, but I'm back again!

For two main reasons.

1) My bones have been ACHING all day. Right inside. They are hurting and it is usually in my arm (upper) or leg (lower).

2) I can feel this thing restricting my breathing and it is PISSING ME OFF. I feel very uncomfortable. It is even becomming uncomfortable for me to swallow. When I lie down at night it ANNOYS me because I can't breathe right and it feels like I have a weight pushing on my neck, right where I'm trying to breathe.

My head has been pumping all day. I went to work to try and feel better and take my mind somewhere else, but I left with a banging headache!

Is this normal? It's pissing me off. I'm so so so tired but this thing is uncomforatble when I lie down.

ChemoMan

Hi aisha1

Sorry to hear you are having all these distessing symptoms. I do not know what is causing them and no one here can answer any of the questions you are asking. Please bear in mind that we are people with cancer or carers who are here to give support. We are not doctors and even if we were we would not be able to give answers to the questions you are asking over the net.

write all your questions down so you can ask the doctors when you see them, that way you wont forget any. My understanding from your previous posts was that you will be seeing a doctor in the next few days, so get your questions ready for that day.

Peace to you and good luck.
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
Remission confirmed 17 June 2009
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget Rule number 1

Badri

Hi Aisha,

From all the posts I gather that you are quite brave and believe in taking things head on. I feel that the suspense is what is bothering you. I wish that you have a clear answer at the earliest and the trials, which almighty is putting you through come at an end. You have been through quite a lot and I wish you see the brighter side very soon.

Very happy to see that this brave woman is smiling through all this while awaiting a potential bad news.

I had some symptoms like shortness of breath and being unable to sleep at night quite similar to yours and my lungs were covered 70% but these were not directly related to the final diagnosis of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. Though I have been treated and now on remission, my docs are unable to conclude the relation of the disease to the symptoms. I wa in stage IV with not even a small lump anywhere on the surface. Hence would advise you to not conclude anything from the symptoms and be positive.

Since I was in Coma while I was diagnosed, I havent learnt much of the disease. I woke up to the news that I have NHL Stage IV. Hence wouldnt be able to help you much.

Would pray and look forward to receiving some good news.

All the best.

Badri
_________________
Age : 44
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 4
Finished Six cycles of R Chop 14 - 21st Jan '09
Officially in remission 9th February 2009
Remission confirmed 24th April 2009

aisha1

I am sorry for going off on one last night! I was so annoyed that I couldn't sleep!

I'm going to the clinic today instead of the hospital and I have recieved a letter from the surgery team at the hospital, even though I haven't even seen a consultant yet? I thought that was weird.

Anyway, my throat is becomming closed more and more. I have also had blood comming up from my throat this morning as well. The left side is more enlarged than the right, and I also have symptoms of a urine infection, so I don't want my body to have to fight that as well, I'm going to go and see if I can get anti biotics from the clinic. Trust this to happen on a Saturday! Laughing

I am amazed by all the different stories that people have of their experience. It seems like everyone is affected in a different way. Being in a coma, or going through rounds and rounds of treatment is not a nice thing either, so I should think myself lucky at the moment. It is also very encouraging to see that people are in remission. LOTS of people are in remission Very Happy

My kids are doing there best to make me shout! They are on holiday and are fighting with each other! Rolling Eyes

Anyway.......... I'm off.

Thank you chemo man and Badri.

Take care and thanks for everything.

aisha1

I went to the hospital on saturday and they kept me in. I couldn't breathe and because of my headaches and hearing, they gave me a brain scan, but thanks God, it came back normal.

They said that my trachea was closing and so they wanted to help me, and gave me some steroids. They seemed to work a little bit and I was able to breathe and swallow a bit more. Then they said they wanted to bring forward the biopsy, so they found me a slot, and did it yesterday because they didn't want to let me out unless I had a guided biopsy due to the nature and place of the mass.

So IT HURT and they went into my chest, and took a core sample. They have sent it off to be looked at, but a doctor came this morning and said that I will pobably be starting chemo in the next week or so. He just wants to see what the biopsy says, and then they will decide which type. He must be pretty sure that it is cancer or he wouldn't have mentioned it like that.

I asked if I could see the scan photos and they showed me them. It was amazing to see all the areas, and veins etc. They showed me where the mass was, and the report that the radiologist had written. My trachea in in half, and that is why they said that I have had breathing problems.

Anyway.............. I need someone to tell me what I can expect from here?? I'm still a bit puzzled. I don't really know what to think or how long I will be out of action for.

Also, I have a very strange rash on my palms. The doctor said that it is an alergic reaction to some of my medicine, so he has changed it (anti biotics fofr urine infection) but it is still there. Does anyone else have this?

Thank you chemo man, for all your help, and everyone else.

ChemoMan

Hi aisha1

We still don't know what type of lymphoma you have, my suspicion is Hodgkins, would that be correct ? Your symptoms sound terrible I am sorry you have suffered so much, but I rekon you are a tough person and you will get through this. Post back with the type and stage of lymphoma you have and hopefully we can help you. The agonising wait is over and now the fight begins. Read up all you can and frame your questions on paper before you see the doctors, this will go a long way to easing you mind. A good example of this is Don who was very proactive in asking questions, read his story to get a feel of what to do. Dont forget rule number 1, medical science has been treating lymphomas with great success for a long time now especially HL. Good luck and don't lose your ability to have a laugh. You are in my thoughts, wishing you all the best.
_________________
Age 52
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma
Stage 2a
Finished six cycles of R chop 21 26th May 2008
Officially in remission 9th July 2008
Remission confirmed 1st October 2008
Remission confirmed 17 June 2009
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9620
RULE NUMBER 1.....Don't Panic
RULE NUMBER 2..... Don't forget Rule number 1

SingleDad

Hi aisha1 - the worst part is not knowing what you are dealing with.

Now the docs have stepped up the pace that's actually good news as you have something they are tackling....

You have a tough location to deal with so it's hard for many of us to provide any "what to expect"

Keep us posted on exact diagonosis...

In my case life really went on as normal, only staff and kids knew I had cancer - clients did not.

Fatigue was sometimes the hardest to deal with....there is a link to my diary below.

Good luck, chin up, you are young and motivated...
_________________
Age 61
Diffuse Large B cell Lymphoma Stage 2/3
CHOP+R started Feb 26th 2009
Completed 6 cycles June 2009
Diary here http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=12003
Officially in remission July 9th 2009 Wink

Three rounds of Intrathecal completed July 29th
Radiation to come as a prophylactic measure.
1st Radiation Sept 9 - 17 does completed Oct 1.
No more treatments scheduled
Heading to South Africa in January - once the itching stops Mr. Green

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