beating the odds??

froidianslp · New User Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 2

My husb was dx 14mos ago w/CUP. Many, many bone mts as well as groin lymph nodes involved. No primary site to be found. After six mos. of chemo. he was in remission and removed from chemo/side effects too bad. Has a great attitude (although I think he fakes it sometimes) but is now back on chemo/ taxotere?. Has had several bones break or fracture and over Xmas had emergency hip replacement. Dr. is honest about the severity of cancer but he is in denial in a big way. Dr. said some patients die never having moved beyond denial??? He still works most days either from his home office or flying around the country. Dr's have advised him not to fly (Platelets at 4K - not chemo induced) but refuses to believe them and flies anyway. Lately has been viciously angry at me and although I hate that, maybe he is moving into the anger phase??? Misdirected though it is?? He has had blood and paltelet transfusions this past month, but very little chemo. Bone pain not too severe right now but numerous tumors throughout the skeleton. As the main support I am exhausted by trying to keep up with correcting the information he gives to other family members. Maybe this kind of denial is what is keeping him going, but I am considering a private therapist. I can't even cry anymore because I'm too emotionally exhausted. How does everyone else manage this?? Sorry I know I'm not supposed to whine.

brainman · Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:57 am Post subject: Re: beating the odds??

Froidianslp, my heart certainly goes out to you and your husband! It is a difficult balance between "facing reality" and "not giving up hope." I was diagnosed with a primary brain cancer 14 years ago. According to the odds, I should not be alive now. I knew that at that time. I have recently had a recurrence of the cancer at a higher grade. I know the olds are even worse now than before. However, is the fact that I have made the choice to be a part of the minority that survives, is that denial? All that I can encourage you and your husband to do is to face the reality but elect to be in the minority.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

3pturk · Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:54 am Post subject: Re: beating the odds??

My thoughts are with you. Whether this be denial or not I do not know. Everyone deals with tragedy in a different way. Maybe through continuing to work, this is his way of coping. Whatever it may be , don't give up.
The caregiver has a very tough and emotional road, hang in there.
God bless and be well...
Jill
_________________
Dx 3-17-05,breast cancer
40 yrs young, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, 2.5cm
ER+/PR+, Her-2/neu Negative, Grade and Stage 2
1 Sentinel node pos. 17 neg., chemo AC/Taxol ,
rad.tx

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