Advice to Help My Sister-In-Law w/ Lymphoma

DebraH52 · New User Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 1

My sister-in-law is in her late 40's and has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She was diagnosed about a year ago and had some radiation therapy (she was in Stage 1). She seemed to get better but lately we began to realize that she looked sick but wouldn't talk about it. We just found out that she is now in Stage 3 and has refused treatment. She is just going to let it run it's course. She says she does not want the family to go through all the effects from having the chemo. She is married and has children and grandchildren and the family is very close. Does anyone have advice on how to talk to her? I know it is her life and her choice but she needs to realize how very much she is loved and would be missed. Thanks.

rmaureen · Experienced user Joined: 06 Oct 2005 Posts: 96

Hi, I am sorry for what you family is going through and your sister-in-law's diagnosis. I was diagnosed last year, and I did not want to fight because I have had so many problems in my life for several years now. However, my twin sister told me how she could not stand it if I died, and that she wanted me to fight this thing with all my being. She was straight up with me-- how this would impact her, and that if I could not fight for myself, fight for her. I suggest being upfront with your feelings on this. My sister told me not to just think of myself; think of those around me, and how it effects them. She should not give up. Many people beat this disease, she can too.

cjago · Regular Joined: 14 Jan 2006 Posts: 42

Two things about chemo you might make sure she understands:-

- it isn't always awful for everyone, it depends very much on exactly what you have and your own reaction to it; I've had it twice and it was pretty bad once but a walkover the other time (I worked right through it); also the anti-emetics are pretty good these days

- just because you start it, doesn't mean you have to finish it. You can start and see how it goes and if it is too bad (or not being effective), you can chuck it in.

Does she know what kind of non-Hodgkins she has? I think there are significantly different prognoses for different kinds. Her decision might make more sense to you if she has been told that she has a poor prognosis.

Good luck.
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adenocarcinoma of the breast, now widely metastatic (stomach, liver, pelvis, pancreas, bones, skin)
survived 11 years so far

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