So scared what to do

spiderlily · New User Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 3 Location: Alabama

I am so scared for my brother he has melanoma and its in the last stages he hasn,t been sick just found out he has cancer.He don,t talk about it hasn,t said a word acts like hes fine but i see the worry in his eyes .but he want let anyone talk with him about it He is taking care of all his bills and things so i wonder if his time is close but he want let me help . Crying or Very sad

what do i do i have cried till i can,t and can,t rest please someone help me i can,t hardly stand this not knowing .Hurting and can,t help him. Crying or Very sad

mousa · Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:29 am Post subject: Re: So scared what to do

Dear Lily,
Yes, I know every minute of your anguish feels like a day. I think all you can do for your brother is to be there for him. Tell him how much you love him, how much it means to you having him as a brother. Tell him that if he wants to talk that you are there to listen. Tell him that if there is anything he needs help with that you will do your best to help. If you feel that you can't say these things to him, put them in a letter.

We all have our own path to tread and your brother will choose his and it may not be a path you like. You must accept and with acceptance will come calm and you will be able to support your brother if he asks for help.

Blessings and love,

Mousa

Dudley · Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject: Esophageal cancer

Good early morning - It's the time of night when I can't sleep and can't find anyone to talk to that knows anyhting about cancer and what to do (the caregiver).

My husband has been diagnosed with Stage 1V espoghagal cancer and it has spread to his lymph system and kidney (possibly both). The doctor says that the outlook doesn't llok good, but he has started him on 2 chemo mixes. Other than losing his hair, he is really doing suprisingly well. That's great, but it leaves me in limbo and I am not ceratin what I shoudl be doing. Treating life as it always is, loving him like its the last minute of the day, feeling sad, being overly happy to make him smile???????I just don't know what I am feeling completely and am really looking for some advise.

Can anyone help?

Thank you and bless you.

Donna Rolling Eyes

mousa · Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:09 am Post subject: Re: So scared what to do

Dear Dudley,

You are like me - I, too, didn't know anything about cancer when my husband was diagnosed, in July 2004 with Stage IV adenocarcinoma of the stomach that was also in lymph nodes and at the esophageal-gastric junction. My husband had 10 heavy chemos of Cisplatin, Taxol and 5FU and from June 2005 is on oral chemo, Xeloda. A PET/CT scan done at beginning of Nov 05 showed no cancer, he is back to normal weight and eats everything. So I have had 22 months of being a care giver being with my husband 24/24.

What I did: I wrote to all our relatives and friends explaining the situation and asking for their prayers. I learned Reiki on the advice of a doctor who said it works and gave daily treatments to my husband and myself. I bullied my husband to eat when it was the last thing he wanted to do. My husband never thought that he might die. The IV chemos were very bad but a treatment he just had to get through. My husband, I am glad to say, decided to look at the state of his soul and found the books by White Eagle very instructive. Always before sleep I would read a chapter to him. He also did meditation by imagining breathing in a Healing Light that went to every part of his body. He also took hands on healing from a wonderful German lady.

Perhaps there is something in the above paragraph that you - and your husband - would like to do?

The outlook for my husband was a few months but here we are 22 months later and looking good! The stomach wall was 25 mm but at PET/CAT in Nov 05 was 5 mm!!

A friend wrote to me to every day share something happy with my husband and I tried to do that and show my love.

I don't think it is possible to treat life as it was. There is too big a change. Of course you will feel sad. Many a night I went out onto the balcony and cried my eyes out. But then at other times I would put on our favourite golden oldie music and dance - my husband often being able to do a turn round the floor!

Both my husband and I were prescribed a mild medicine to help us sleep. I also take a cup of milk, a calcium tablet, and a spoonful of honey.

If my husband can beat it so can yours!! If you would like more information re my husband's prescribed treatments, the alternative medicines he is taking, the diagnostic scans and bloodwork, I shall be pleased to give it.

Now I send you Light and Love,

Sincerely,

Val

Dudley · Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:34 am Post subject: Re: So scared what to do

Dear Mousa-

Thank you so much for your reponse. I guess it is one day at a time. I found . remarkable though that last night afterposting here, I went to bed and was concerned I couldn't sleep. I lay there still, and felt the warmth of the Reiki on my head. I have a friend that performs this and just brought it to recall. I slept soundly. Thank goodness.

I will have to get the particulars of my husband's meds and tx from the dr. He has had one CT/PET scan since the intital one and it showed no growth, but no shrinkage either. He is due for another one within the next 2 weeks. I am curious to see what happens this time. He is having diffuclty with keeping whatever is in his throat down late at night. Mostly mucous. Any experience with that?

Please let me know also how you learned Reiki. Was it self taught?
Well, time to go to work and do the consistent things of the day. Thank you so much for responding and I look forward to talking with you often. God bless you and your husband and keep the light burning strong.

Sincerely,
Donna Smile

mousa · Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:04 pm Post subject: Re: So scared what to do

Dear Donna,

Yes, my husband had a lot of mucous that gradually got better over a few chemos. Like your husband it was always worse at night. Re shrinkage of tumour - it is good that there was no increase. It might take a few chemos before a change can be seen.

Reiki is taught by a Reiki Master who has learned from a Reiki Master. In Reiki I you are shown the hand positions and given symbols and can then give hands on Reiki. In Reiki II you learn 3 symbols and can do distance healing as well as hands on. In Reki III you are given the final symbol and can then teach Reiki. My husband always likes having a Reiki session and I like doing it. He also receives distance healing from Reiki Masters and hands on healing from a wonderful German lady who lives nearby and has the gift of healing. I am glad you have experience of Reiki. Ask your friend who taught her - perhaps he/she can teach you.

Yes. it really is one day at a time. You have probably already learned not to sweat the small stuff.

My husband also has a repeat PET/CT on 15 May. He is looking and feeling so well that I cannot but think we will get another good result.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Will look forward to hearing from you soon.

Love and Light from me and my husband.

Val

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