ItsJustMe24 New User
Joined: 30 Apr 2006 Posts: 2
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:15 pm Post subject: New here and just wanted to vent my worries........ |
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First, I'd like to say I am so glad to have found this site. Reading through some of the post I can see that everyone is well informed and kind. Here's my story, as brief as possible. My mother was diagnosed with non small cell lung cancer (stage 1) 3 years ago following a minor heart attack at the aqe of 59. She went through a cycle of agressive chemotherapy and radiation, suffered greatly from the radiation burns, etc. So much so that her doctor agreed her body could not take anymore and ended her treatments just a hair early (she had 4 treatments left) Anyway, surprise surprise, she went through a year of the mass lying dormant and smaller! However, last January her check up and scans proved that the mass had started to grow again. Her oncologist strongly suggested surgery to remove half or all of the lung. Unfortunately, she then developed pnuemonia and the surgery was post poned. Finally, in July of 2005 she was scheduled to have the surgery. She had struggled deeply with the decision to operate, harboring a paralyzing fear of "dying on the table". She entered the hospital that morning in such a frenzied state of panic, that in the end the surgeon advised that she take a "few days to decide if this was indeed what she wanted to do" It was his feeling that she needed to commit to her cure, and remain as positive as possible about the outcome. I (her youngest child) could think only of getting that killing mass of cells out of her body and tried my best to hide my dissapointment in her decision. She left the hospital whole and intact, albiet relieved. From there she opted (under her oncologist advice) to seek another opinion in Boston MA. They too suggested surgery and the sooner the better. Finally after months of procrastination and heel dragging (God Love her it's her specialty ) she admitted to me that if she had the surgery that she'd only be doing it so as not to dissapoint her children. As much as it killed me, I assured her that since it was her body, she should only do what she was comfortable with, and that we would all just have to deal with those decisions. I have been doing my best to support her, trying not to play the "Well if it were [b]ME[/b] game" (which is hard ) At any rate, thats the skinny. 16 months after her re-diagnosis, My sister and I finally got her to go in for her scans, blood work etc, and tomorrow is our consult with the oncologist. I have spent half the evening preparing my list of questions, but realistically, I have NO IDEA what we're walking into tomorrow. I just hope its not horrible. I appreciate you all letting me vent a little, I'm feeling a little less neurotic now. Will keep you posted, Thanks so much.  |
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