The time is nearing....

itsme327802003 · Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:55 pm Post subject: The time is nearing....

I need advice and prayers....

My 65 year old sister is Stage IV lung cancer also with numerous throat tumors. Radiation is maxed out and she had decided the 2nd round of chemo is just too much. She hadn't eaten anything, other than drinking a total of 2 Boost type drinks a day in over 2 months...she had gotten so weak she was admitted into the hospital last week. The doctor had a feeding tube inserted in her stomach, a PEG type. Problem is...she still can't swallon and eventually we are told the tumors will close off her air way. She has accepted Hospice care. Her doctor has given her "a few weeks to a couple of months"...I know he can't be any more specific than that. When I read "She's gone now" I see the horrid pain, even with Hospice care and pain management, she is probably going to be going through, not to mention the rest of the family. Our mother is 85 years old and watching her daughter die...we have not held the "family meeting yet" as we are waiting for those to arrive from out of state to tell everyone her wishes and the doctors "time line". She has signed a DNR and has said "no advance life saving measures" other then her tube feeding....Can anyone tell me what I should be asking Hospice and her doctors? I am her surrogate and she has asked that I be her voice (she barely has one now). As the baby in the family, it's hard for me to look at my brothers and sisters and know what I know about my oldest sister. I need guidance...would appreciate any replies. Thank you and please pray for us.

mrsponydr1ver · Regular Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 17

I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I know that it is a hard time for you all.

kaylany · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2006 Posts: 31 Location: New York

I am really sorry for your sister, I will pray for you, this forum has helped me alot. You are not alone, talk to hospice and the doctors about anything on your mind. That is what they are there for. My mom-in-law has stage IV NSCLC and it helps me alot to share my experiences on here. She just started chemo, the first round didn't work, she had a bad reaction. They stopped to do radiation on her brain for lesions. Now, it's been 3 1/2 months since she was diagnosed, they gave her 6 months at the end of April.

This chemo is her last hope, as told to her by her oncology group. I feel they shouldn't outright give up on her, it's causing her more depression. Plus she refuses to even take her cough medicine more than once a day and she is getting alot worse with that. It just spread to other lung and abdomen as well. They don't even think the chemo will really help her for more than a few weeks added. But she only had one treatment so far and seems to feel horrible. Nothing in particular, just terrible in general.

I fear the time when they either stop the chemo or it's done and they say there's nothing else to do and we call hospice. They said if she gets sick, there stopping it. So I know there is not much to do at this point but hope for a miracle and prepare myself for the inevitable. I will add you to my list of people I pray for, and just pray for yourself to have the strength to get through this, it is not easy in any way. It's terrible that your mother has to see this happen to her daughter. I think that is something I could never bear. Be there for her, no parent ever wants to see their child be terminallay ill. And take care of yourself as well. Don't be afraid to ask for help or lean on someone when you need it. We are only human after all. Take care, Kayla
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kaylaNY

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