Should we try chemo?

kygirl · New User Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 5

My dad has stage IV NSCLC with mets in the brain. He is 63 and has smoked since he was 15 yrs. old. Before the diagnosis he became very weak and tired and he could barely walk due to loss of balance, also had no appetite. He had lost 15 to 20 pounds. When his doctor saw his chest XRays he got him an appointment with a surgeon the same day. The surgeon scheduled him for a CT scan of the head and chest the next day and also admitted him in the hospital where they did a biospy. That was on Friday, July 14, he spent four nights in the hospital. They started him on Decadron to reduce the swelling in his head and scheduled him to begin 10 radiation treatments to shrink the tumors in his head on Monday. They gave him 6 - 12 months and said surgery was not a option. Everything happened so fast and the news kept getting worse everyday. It was terrifying and heartbreaking. The first week was bad, Dad was very sick and couldn't keep anything down but by the weekend he was feeling better. The second and final week of radiation went much better. He is feeling pretty good now, he is able to walk much better and has a very good appetite and he is starting to gain some weight back. He does have some swelling in his feet from the steroid.

My question is should he do chemo or not? He had his first visit with the chemo doctor yesterday. He was very surprised at how well Dad was doing but he told them that NSCLC does not respond well to chemo and that if it were his dad he probably would not recommend chemo. I would like to hear from some of you that have been through this, what do you think?

kaylany · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2006 Posts: 31 Location: New York

Dear Kygirl,

My mom-in-law moved in w/me and my husband and our 4 young kids. She was disoriented and tired back in April and was diagnosed with stage 4 NSCLC with mets. to the brain and lymph nodes. They don't know if it went to other organs. She had brain surgery in May b/c it was only one lesion. Which I think is different than a tumor.

Her oncologist gave her 6 months to live, and had her start chemo in May. They said it would not cure, but possibly extend her life some. They weren't very clear on all that and my husband(her son) is heartbroken and wants to do anything to try and help her.

She started chemo in end of May - once a week but it only lasted 3 weeks. She had an allergic reaction to each kind they gave her they didn't really say how many other types they have to keep on trying different ones to find one that works.

They stopped trying b/c they found more lesions on her brain and did 2 weeks of radiation. and put her on a steriod. Radiation wore her out, we don't even know how well it worked yet. They will maybe start chemo again if the radiation helped alot. If it didn't I suppose why put her through it? She's meeting the oncoligist this week and I will let you know what they say b/c your situation with your dad is very similar.

You may want your dad to try it, but you should know it may not be worth it to put him through it. It did make my mom very sick and she wasn't even getting the full doses. So I can't really answer your question yet but I know my grandmother also had stage 4 lung cancer with a brain tumor. She only went through one third of the chemo b/c it wasn't worth it for her. It just gave her a terrible quality of life.

My heart goes out to you, I am amazed at how many people are going through this with family members and hope by the time my children are older, they will have a better treatment for such a horrible disease.

I'll let you know what the oncoligst says about starting chemo again, she is there today with my sister in law.
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kaylaNY

kygirl · New User Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 5

Dear KalaNy,

Thanks for responding. I am so sorry to hear about your mom-in-law. Please keep me posted on how she is doing and what the oncologist says.

It is just so nice to have Dad feeling well again. I was afraid after the diagnosis that he might not get any better and now I am terrified about what tomorrow holds. I am trying to spend time with him everyday and enjoy what time we have. I just keep asking God to extend his good days and not let him suffer.

He is scheduled to see the oncologist again in three weeks. So I guess we just wait and see how he is doing at that time.

You and your family are in my prayers. May God's peace and blessings fill your home and comfort you and your family, especially your young childern at this difficult time.

Karen

kaylany · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2006 Posts: 31 Location: New York

Dear Karen,

I wanted to let you know that my mother in law saw the oncologist and they will be starting chemo again next week. They'll do a CT scan first but from what I understand they'll start it no matter what for 13 weeks, her going once a week.

She is 63 also and smoked for I think about 40 years. It is heartbreaking for this to happen to her, she's one of the kindest people you'd ever meet. She's my husband's mother, so I know it is a little different for you, it being your father and my heart goes out to you.

Have you tried to get a second opinion about your dad's treatment? Maybe you would feel a lot more comfortable with the decisions you and your family makes. Does your dad want to try anything and everything to slow the cancer and prolong his life? Or does he feel that chemotherapy will make him too ill? If he wants to do treatment, I would definitely talk to another oncologist. I wish you the best and you are right, you just have to make the best of every day and cherish the times you have together.
Kayla
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kaylaNY

kygirl · New User Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 5

Dear Kalany,

I am praying for your mother-in-law and her chemo treatments. Please let me know how they go.

I don't think Dad has made any decisions yet about chemo. He is worried about the quality of his life on chemo. He goes back in a couple of weeks and they will talk more about it then.
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Karen

bethanyaok · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 11:53 pm Post subject: Re: Should we try chemo?

Karen,

It's important for your dad to know that people respoond differently to identical chemo regimens. My dad was diagnosed w/stage iv nsclc in April 2003. He immediately started chemo, taxotere and carboplatin. He tolerated it very well, and did not find the side effects disabling. Just a couple of days when he was tired, and a few times he became anemic and needed a shot to help with that. He continued on this regimen for two years. The tumor shrunk away to barely detectable. He had wonderful experiences bonding with his granddaughters, he wouldn't have missed that time for anything. He only stopped chemo when the lc spread to his brain, and he had radiation treatments. It wasn't until the cancer metastasized to his brain that his quality of life diminished. I feel fairly certain that without the chemo he would NOT have lived 26 months, or had two pretty good years after his diagnosis.

Your dad can always start chemo (do one round) and if he has bad side effects, or feels his quality of life is diminished, he can always stop. The only way for him to know whether he will have side effects is for him to give it a try. He might just be pleasantly surprised!!

Take Care,
Bethany

PS I did chemo for breast cancer, and really did quite well with it!!
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Bethany
breast cancer dx 4/17/00
4 AC, 28 rads, tamoxifen
7 years NED, and counting!
BRCA2+ 2/1/07

Lost Dad to Lung Cancer June '05

kygirl · New User Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 5

Dear Bethany,

Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I talked with Dad a little last night about chemo and I think he is willing to give it a try. I am going to go with my parents to his next oncologist visit. I have so many questions from reading this forum and researching that my parents can't answer. He did ask last night if he tried it and became ill could he stop. I told him he could. It is scary because he feels good right now and we are all afraid that chemo may make him sick and he won't recover. I have been reluctant to even bring the subject up because I want each decision to be my fathers. I don't want to push him into anything because if it doesn't work out I don't think I could stand feeling like it is my fault but I at least want him to be as informed as possible and get him all the information that I can. Every decision now just seems like a gamble. There are no guarantees and not even much encouragement from the doctors but I am praying for God's guidance both for us and the doctors.

Again, thanks for the encouragement.

Karen
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Karen

kaylany · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2006 Posts: 31 Location: New York

Karen,

How is your dad doing Did he start the chemotherapy? I hope all is well with him. My mom in law is not doing so well at this time. Not really sure exactly how much time she has but they're not discharging her until we have things ready at home to take care of her properly.

Just wanted to see if anyone has some good news! Hope your dad is doing ok.
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kaylaNY

kygirl · New User Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 5

Dear KaylaNY,

I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Dad is still doing OK. Some days are better than others. As they were weaning him off the Decadron his walking started getting bad again so they have left him on a very small dose. He has had some pretty bad swelling in his feet which seems to have gotten better in the last week. He doesn't sleep much but is tired a lot. His back also hurts and for Dad to say it hurts... it must really hurt. He has never been one to complain. He has a very good attitude and just takes one day at a time. We have not done any chemo. He goes for a MRI and CT scan Monday and will probably start Tarceva on Wednesday. We are just afraid that chemo will take away the quality of life he has left.
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Karen

kaylany · Regular Joined: 02 Aug 2006 Posts: 31 Location: New York

I think you're right about chemo taking away quality of life. Before the dr. said yesterday to my mom inlaw he won't do it anymore, I WAS worried she would want to. And she can't even make it to the bathroom on her own so I thought what good will chemo do? It will just make her have more symptoms and problems, and she has enough already. And too if she chose to try it again, I didn't even think it would last more than a week or two b/c so far they tried twice and it never worked out.

In the hospital over this past 9 days they did 2 blood transfusions, have her on oxygen, did surgery for blood clotting, and have her doing respitory treatments. The dr. said best case she has 2 months.

I find myself getting the most upset when I'm keeping her company with my daughter in the room as well. She's almost 6 months and I notice my mom looking at her in a sad way and it breaks my heart my daughter will never remember her, or that my mom won't see her at 2 or 3 or a teenager. Only my oldest whose 7 will remember her well. I hope my 3 year old will but I know my 1 year old won't either. At 62 it just doesn't seem fair at all to be so sick and have your life cut short.

I try to think of it in a way that helps me rationalize it and accept it. That god sometimes takes wonderful people early because he cannot stand to be away from them for too long.

I hope your dad is doing ok, and you will be in my prayers. Before this I never was big into praying, but things like this have a way of changing your perspective on life.
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kaylaNY

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