Two years later....

femfrog · Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 2:46 pm Post subject: Two years later....

I just found this site today and wish that I found this 2 years ago. Reading all these posts brings back so many memories for me.

Here's my story...

My father passed away of pancreatic cancer a little over 2 years ago. This story is similar to many of yours. Basically my father was complaining of severe back pains and lack of appetite. He and my mother went to the emergency department and the doctor said the pain was due to his back injury. One week later, the pain was still around so they returned to the emergency department. The doctor then gave my parents grief because what my father was suffering was a little bout of flu and that did not necessitate a trip to the ER. Again, my parents returned home but the pain still did not subside. A few days later my parents returned to the ER for the same issue. My mother demanded that someone look over my father and see what was wrong. He did not eat in 2 weeks and the pain in his back was intolerable.

A doctor examined my father and noticed that his stomach was swollen. After some tests and scans, the bad news was that he was in stage IV pancreatic cancer. I remember speaking to my mother before this and her telling me that my father was not feeling very well. I spoke to my father on the phone and his voice was so weak. Two days later my mother called me at work and told me the news. Everything was a blur. I was working in a call centre at the time. I just left my work area, spoke to my manager and took the train back to where I was staying. My aunt drove me for 8 hours back to my hometown.

My father was not doing good. His cheeks were gaunt, he lost a lot of weight, but hardest of all was the amount of fluid he was retaining. He looked like an old man. After days of staying at the hospital and hopes that they were going to fly him out for treatment, I returned to my job. A couple of days later, I got a call from my brother telling me that the doctors weren't doing anything because it was too late. My father was dying. I returned home the next day to my father in a coma. The nurses were pumping large amount so morphene into his body exelerate the process of death. At least he wasn't feeling the pain.

Two weeks after his diagnosis, my father died. Two years later, I still have major issues. Guilt that I couldn't stand being in the same room as my Dad because of how sick he was, guilt over the fact that I couldn't say goodbye, guilt over the fact that I no longer speak to his side of the family. I still have a lot of anger and sadness. Obviously I have not dealt with his death. Maybe I need to see a counsellor or something.

I now work in the hospital where my father passed away, and the smell brings back a lot of memories. I guess that's the reason why I'm writing this.

I have sympathy for all of you here. Why can we send a human to the moon but can't find a cure for this terrible disease. Maybe our society should be less concerned about material goods. I don't know. I guess I'm trying to find a reason why my Dad died...
_________________
Life's a b#$%^, wear a helmut!

4VGA · Regular Joined: 31 Jul 2006 Posts: 13

sorry about your dad i also lost my dad just a year ago
he was the 3rd member of my famliy to die from this cancer
in 15 years and not much has changed on docs finding the cancer
in time. and it seems when they find it they dont know what to do
most just give up or what to use them a test people. ckeck in to
pancan (pancreatic cancer action network) i work with them
they are making a diff in this cancer pancan.org
take care

AndreC4016 · Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:09 pm Post subject: Re: Two years later....

I came to this site 6 months ago to find the same answers for my wife.. She was diagnosed last July 05 with pancreatic cancer at age 42, the way she found out was one day after going fishing with me she turned yellow, at first the doctors thought it was hepatitis due to her age and everything but after they did a ultrasound and CT scan they discovered the tumor after that for the entire year she fought with this two headed monster and endured the pain and humility our body goes thru with the chemo and radiation treatments, after all that she passed away this July 06.. Even to her last days the oncologist was still talking about coming back after a week or so to start the chemo again was he blind to what was going on.. her body was no longer tolerant of the chemo any little infection put her in the hospital for a week.. Why can't they see this.. Maybe I’m bitter of the fact that I lost my wife at a young age but I believe chemo can only do so much, and only in the beginning. So yes I’m still looking for the same answer as you are. Question

missumom · Experienced user Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 65

This is truly a cruel type of cancer in that it is so difficult to detect early and its aggressive deterioration on the patient's condition. It doesn't leave you enough time to grasp the diagnosis, with death shortly to follow. We are all left behind wondering 'what just happened here?'

I still think that the doctors should really consider about suggesting chemo to pancreatic cancer patients who are in Stage IV, with metastization in other organs. I think that their main concern for the patient should be pain management. Chemo speeds up their death and takes the quality of what little life they have left.

My mom was diagnosed in September 2005 and she past away in October 2005. When people ask me how I'm doing, I tell them I'm okay or I'm fine. Liar!!! What I really want to say is that I'm a mess!!! I miss her everyday. I can't believe that she's gone. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Some days, I cry and other days, I get really sad. When my mom was around, my life was perfect. I had everything and everyone I needed in life. Then God threw this hurricane at me and ever since then, it hasn't been the same.

I'm going through the everyday motions of life because I know that my mom would want that. I know that when I'm sad, she's sad. I wish I could turn back the time and freeze it one month before her diagnosis, but that's a whole lot of wishful thinking...(exhale)....take care.

freeio · Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:02 pm Post subject: Take control if you can

I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer nearly two years ago, and as the end nears, I am fighting it all the way. I am going through chemo now more for my beloved wife and friends than for myself. They want me to live, and so I fight on.

They call what I have, "Progressive Recurrent Pancreatic Adenocarcinoma." It is stage IV, with the one odd feature that now the pancreas itself is clean, and it is growing like wildfire elsewhere.

I asked Dr. Posey (my oncologist at UAB Hospital in Brimingham, Alabama) what the gemcitabine was good for, and his reply was "Six weeks." Statistically, that is all that this awful stuff does. The difference between taking gencitabine and taking 5-FU (or nothing, for that matter) is about six additional weeks of life. At $1,800 per dose, and horrible side-effects, that is a very expensiuve six weeks. There is no hope of cure, remission, or retreat. The cancer is going to win this battle, we already know that.

Still, I go on, smiling at everyone I meet. It is the right thing to do, while I can still do so. I already am convinced of my eternal destiny, so I use this opportunity to talk to others about theirs.

My cancer blog is here:

http://diehlmartin.com/cancer.html
_________________
-------------------------------------------------
whipple procedure, Oct. 21, 2004
28 days of radiation
56 days of Chemo using Xeloda
diagnosed as progressive recurrent pancreatic adenocarcinoma (Stage IV) Jun. 20, 2006
was treated with gemcitabine, oxaliplatin, and tarceva, which all failed.
Cancer blog: http://diehlmartin.com/cancer.html

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