reenie
Experienced user
Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 57
Location: vrginia
|
 Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:55 pm Post subject: abdominal obstruction |
 |
|
It's been a while since I've had a minute. On August 9 Sam started on Xeloda at a lower dosage than before. Three doses into it he was vomiting everything. At first I thought it was because we hadn't had the aloxi. I called the onc when I noticed Sam's poor skinny belly had become slightly distended. He said it could be an obstruction or just irritation from all the vomiting. Off to the er we went where an ng tube was used to remove 5 liters(!) from his stomach-the surgeon said he had never taken as much before. No wonder he was vomiting sip for sip, he had one complete obstruction and one partial. Because of his compromised state and the progression of the disease we were advised by the onc not to try a resection. He actually said if Sam were his brother he could not recommend the surgery. There was a big IF he made it through surgery and then IF he would ever recover enough to leave the hospital & be with his family for his last days. So we went with an easier procedure so that we could make him comfortable and take him home. The surgeon put a peg tube(usually used for feeding) in so that I can drain the fluids from his stomach to keep the nausea and pain at bay. Sam is on clear liquids and came home from the hospital the day after the procedure. Hospice had already delivered the bed and wheelchair. He has a pca which keeps his pain very even then a bolus button to give him some extra when needed. I am still running 3 ltrs of fluids(with potassium) a day but no nutrition is being absorbed, I just let everything drain out the bag. So he feels pretty good and has been enjoying home movies and visits with friends and family.
This is really hard. I am plagued by doubt- what if he had made it through surgery? What if by choosing this procedure I have taken time from him? Sam tells me everyday that we made the right choice. This may be a little less time but certainly better quality time. Had we done the other surgery he may very well have not made it to the recovery room. I know that's true but once that seed of doubt gets into my head I'm a goner. I am trying very hard to put this at rest so Sam doesn't see me distraught. He deserves peace and doesn't need me to fall apart. |
|
freeio
Senior User
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
Posts: 116
Location: Guntersville, Alabama
|
| Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:14 am Post subject: Do not second guess yourself, please... |
|
|
What you describe is very saddening indeed. This is a hard time for you both, I know.
That having been said, please do not try to second-guess yourself as to whether your choice is the right one. You make the decisions you do based on love, and on what information you have available at the time. You simply cannot know if the other choice would have been better. Choose, and go with it. This is the only way to keep your own sanity, which you must, both for your sake and for his.
In my case, I am the patient and not the caregiver. Right now, I am well enough to fully take part in my own decisions, but soon there will likely come a time when it is all out of my hands. I trust my beloved Monica to make the decisions when that time comes, and I have all of the proper legal paperwork signed to make sure that she has full control. She loves me, and I trust her completely with my life.
Cancer is a nasty, difficult death, as it robs us of our health, our dignity, and then slowly squeezes us to death. It is cruel. On the other hand, it provides us with a real demonstration of love, in that those who stick with us and help us in our last, hard days, show forth what they are really made of. These loving people shine more brightly in contrast to the terribleness of the cancer. Thank you for loving Sam and helping him through this.
You can follow my battle with cancer in my cancer blog: http://diehlmartin.com/cancer.html
Marty
_________________
-------------------------------------------------
whipple procedure, Oct. 21, 2004
28 days of radiation
56 days of Chemo using Xeloda
diagnosed as progressive recurrent pancreatic adenocarcinoma (Stage IV) Jun. 20, 2006
was treated with gemcitabine, oxaliplatin, and tarceva, which all failed.
Cancer blog: http://diehlmartin.com/cancer.html |
|
Search 
Email Digests
Register to post
Profile 
Check private messages 
Log in
What is this ?
We subscribe to the HONcode principles. Verify here. All content and posts are copyright.
