Continue Chem Or Not?

luscdavis · New User Joined: 05 Apr 2007 Posts: 4

I recently posted a bit about my cancer story.
Yesterday I walked out of my oncologlist office extremely disturbed.
After the lasy Pet scan whcih was negative, I was told by him that I could go ahead and stop the oral chemo, Xeloda.
Like I mention, FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN, anxiety caused me to hang on to those pills, and therefore I asked him if I could continue. He said he didn't see why not since I was tolterating it well. He would monitor every month. I take it 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. As time has gone by I have more pain in the stomach area and back where the radiation occured. When I spoke to my radiologist oncologlist he reviewed that there wa no data to say that using it as a preventive measure was going to do any good. Of course this prompt me to go see my oncologlist because I was thinking of stopping even before he andI talked. but I am scare and still didn't know what to do. "Darn if you do and darn if you don't" I understand that as pysicians they know that there isn't enough evidence out there that this would keep me cancer free.
My visit though was not a pleasant one, as my oncologlist felt that I have doing well on it. He became angry and verbalize that to me and said, "Your off treatment Now" Words cannot describe how I felt and my daughter was with me, who became very upset. Tears continue to flood and the heartache became unbearable. I felt so worthless, alone, and like a quinea pig.
I have had trust in my oncololist, though he is known to know his "stuff" but to be a little rough around the edges. I guess he felt that the other Rad. Onc. doctor had interfere, I don't know. He wasn't listening to me.
I do know that I am so afraid to let go of the chemo and then I can't make a decison. I read and hear that continue chemo also causes harm.
Does anyone out there have any ideas? experience? opinions? I feel on overload, at a sensitive time in my life. My family is afraid and confuse too. I feel alone in this , yet pressured by family and my own fears.
Thank you, LCD

brainman · Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 1:41 pm Post subject: Re: Continue Chem Or Not?

Hi LCD,

All of us who have survived our first (or second, or third…) encounter with cancer can identify with your fear and anxiety of the unknown future. I have often told others that none of us knows how long we have to live… not even those who have never had cancer. However, we KNOW that we live with death better than the average person. Fear and anxiety are normal; it is what we do with those feelings that can make a difference. You might want to talk with a professional about dealing with your fears. I know that fear and anxiety (not to mention the cancer and chemotherapy) can cause increased stomach pain. So, in addition to taking care of the cancer, I would also want to make sure that my fear and anxiety are not so intense that I might be contributing to the problem. Confused

As for the chemo, I would not take it if the doctor told me to stop taking it. Any chemotherapy agent is, by definition, toxic. Why subject your liver and kidneys and other organs to toxins if a doctor has told you that you do not need to or that it is not helping? This is just my opinion. You and your medical team are in a far better position to judge what is or is not right for you.

Good luck. Keep us posted.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

luscdavis · New User Joined: 05 Apr 2007 Posts: 4

Thank you, I'm off today and have wastd most of the morning giving into my negative feelings. I notice when I'm off work, I get depress, as long as I'm working it keeps my mine busy. Yet when I have to get up, I don't wnat to go to work. Such a catch 22. I have wonder if I need to go on an atin depresant , yet part of me wants to be anle to process the feelings. I don't know if this is harmful, or okay? The fear has me immbolized. Thank you for sharing and your good thoughts sent my way, LCD

[quote="brainman"]Hi LCD,

All of us who have survived our first (or second, or third…) encounter with cancer can identify with your fear and anxiety of the unknown future. I have often told others that none of us knows how long we have to live… not even those who have never had cancer. However, we KNOW that we live with death better than the average person. Fear and anxiety are normal; it is what we do with those feelings that can make a difference. You might want to talk with a professional about dealing with your fears. I know that fear and anxiety (not to mention the cancer and chemotherapy) can cause increased stomach pain. So, in addition to taking care of the cancer, I would also want to make sure that my fear and anxiety are not so intense that I might be contributing to the problem. Confused

As for the chemo, I would not take it if the doctor told me to stop taking it. Any chemotherapy agent is, by definition, toxic. Why subject your liver and kidneys and other organs to toxins if a doctor has told you that you do not need to or that it is not helping? This is just my opinion. You and your medical team are in a far better position to judge what is or is not right for you.

Good luck. Keep us posted.[/quote][size=18][/size]

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