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Kris
Experienced user
Joined: 23 Jul 2006
Posts: 76
Location: Geneva, Switzerland
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 Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 10:38 am Post subject: Follow-up on me |
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Dear Brunette, Jen, Michele, Kevan, bc, Jim and all....
I'm missing you very much. I know this is not the place here for posts longing for support, but I just need to give you an update on how I am going, how I am feeling and living since my beloved Mum passed away after 4 months of fight against GBM.
I'm visiting the forum and reading the new posts regularly. I can't forget the fantastic help you (all) provided me with throughout those hard 4 months. I hope to serve as support for others once I'll get mentally better...
Now it's for 7 months that Mum passed away, and I'm not sure to say that those 4 months of her suffering were the hardest times for me.... it's probably harder now, not having her at all, feeling this emptyness around. I am missing her terribly and I just can't let her go, I'm constantly looking for her, calling her, watching her/our last photos, reading her/our last sms saved in my cell-phone ... I guess I have not yet done my mourning.
I am on sick-leave for a month now, having gastric problems (ulcer and Co. - certainly psycho-somatic) and depression.
There are two things which only make me think positive and hopeful: my kids+husband, and my scientific belief in continuing the promising clinical trials to overcome and eradicate GBM.
I hope you're doing better than me, you're all in my prayers.
Thank you for listening,
Kris |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 5617
Location: Tennessee
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bc
Experienced user
Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 7:24 pm Post subject: Re: Mum passed away 7 months ago |
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hello,
I know it is difficult to move forward without a parent, but what would your mum want you to do - live in the past or look to the future?
I know my parents want us to look to the future. You have a nice family with the support you need, and I know that helps. Try to keep your mum's memory alive, by telling stories to your kids and teaching them some of the things your mum taught you.
At times I wish my dad were here, like when I need something fixed at my home, etc. But those moments are short and I pick myself up and remember the nice memories he provided us with.
Are you going to the grief counselor? If not, you might want to, as it can help with the grieving process.
Stay well, keep your chin up and be lucky you had a wonderful mum for as long as you did.
BC |
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jenugl
Moderator
Joined: 24 Sep 2006
Posts: 201
Location: Cairns, Queensland, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 7:42 am Post subject: Re: Mum passed away 7 months ago |
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| Hi Kris, All I can do is pray for you and send you my love and thoughts and hope that with the love of your family and support from this forum and hopefully some counseling your strength will grow each day. I lost my mum a few years ago (not from cancer but dimentia) and it was so hard not having her around. I was told then that life does go on and it does get easier to deal with and I thought there's no way it could get better but with time, step by step it did. I still miss her terribly but it is easier to handle. Stay strong and don't be afraid to reach out for help. (sending a big hug) Take care - love to all. Jen |
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michelesmith
Experienced user
Joined: 28 Oct 2005
Posts: 72
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:20 am Post subject: Re: Mum passed away 7 months ago |
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Kris,
We are all still here for you. I think this forum draws us all back. All looking to help others and at the same time help ourselves. Reassure ourselves that we did what we could, that maybe there is hope on the horizon, and to continually remind us that we are not alone in what we have gone through. I think a grieving counselor might be a good step. Remember that you do still have a husband and your kids to live for and they need you too. The hospice we used provided someone to talk with my mom from the beginning and he still follows up with her around holidays and things to see how she is doing. Please continue to let us know how you are doing.
Michele
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Michele |
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ksplat
Super Moderator
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 577
Location: Brisbane, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 8:31 pm Post subject: for Kris |
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So sorry to hear your story of loss & grief. Life does go on for all of us after the death of a loved one but it's a slow process. I lost my Dad last yr (thru dementia) & we are now grieving as my 46 yrs young brother has GBM. You must concentrate your energies on all the positive memories from your Mum's life. Spending time with family is the best way to move on even though you're constantly reminded of your Mum, keep talking about her and take your time with the grief process. I am so blessed to have my Mum around. Thinking of you & prayers for you & yours. Cheers Aussie Angie.
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227
"Without Faith We Have Nothing" |
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kashrel
Regular
Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 25
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| Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2007 6:02 pm Post subject: To Kris |
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Dear Kris
I have not yet lost my dad although we are not far from it. The thing that has amazed me is the enormous range of emotions and being one of 5 children, the different way we are experiencing his dying.
Know this, grief is a very personal thing and while it may take someone 3 months to feel "lighter", it may take someone else 1 year or longer.
7 months is not long to have lost your mother. It sounds like you had a very loving and open relatioship. Also watching her suffer must have been very traumatic for you. This is a very devastating disease.
Be easy on yourself. Dont expect yourself to just bounce back like nothings happened. Take your time and grieve in the way you need to. I agree with earlier posts that perhaps a grief counsellor may be useful. I have been seeing someone throughout my dads illness and will continue to do so after he passes.
I am a mother of 3 young children and whilst it is wonderful to have a family of your own to keep you going, sometimes you dont feel like you have the emotional space to grieve by yourself and you are expected to keep going with work and all the daily duties/routines that your family require.
Time is the great healer, you may need a little longer to heal. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself that time
I am thinking about you and I feel your pain
Best Wishes
Karen 
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Karen
Melbourne |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 5617
Location: Tennessee
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brunette
Experienced user
Joined: 27 Oct 2006
Posts: 51
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 4:08 am Post subject: Re: Mum passed away 7 months ago |
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Dear Kris,
and a big hi to everyone else reading this. I totally understand your sadness Kris. At the moment I am taking anti-depressants. I really thought I was coping ok with my mums death just over 3 months ago.
How wrong I was....Im finding it hard to release my emotions, and I know I must cry but it wont come. The tablets I think will help in the long run but at the moment I feel like Im living on another planet. My body and mind feel like they belong to someone else.
I think of mum all the time but I dont think it has truly sunk in that she is gone forever.
To anyone yet to get to this point in their journey, you have my deepest symapthy. For those who have lost a loved one...stay strong! We will get through this with the love and support on this forum.
My love to you ALL.... always in my thoughts xxxx Jenny. |
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vintage
Regular
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 35
Location: Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:37 pm Post subject: Re: Mum passed away 7 months ago |
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Oh......dear Kris~
I am so sorry you are having a harder time. My heart aches for you. I am sitting here in tears because I know just how you feel. 7 months isn't that long. It's going to just take time to heal.
You really might want to check on an anti-depressant to help you out for a bit. I wish I could help you, but I can only be here to talk and listen.
Believe me, it really will get better. It just takes time.
love and {{{{{hugs}}}}
Kevan
_________________
Kevan
Dad diagnosed GBM IV Nov. 1995.
Passed away Dec. 31 1996.
64 YO |
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Since we are no longer using the thread to reply to Brunette, I split it and gave it the current subject title. Kris, if you would like to change the title, just edit the first post in this thread.
