New to the forum

toonecs · New User Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 6

Hi everybody, fisrt off let me say how sad I am that a place like this has to exist and that so many people in this world are suffering from this terrible disease but........I am glad I found this forum because I think we all need a place to share our stories with those who understand.

My mom is in the final stages of her cancer, it is in her liver, bowels, pancreas and abedomen, she only has a few weeks left with us and it is so hard to watch her like this. She has lived with my husband and myself for the past yr and we have been caring for her, we have a wonderfull nursing staff that come in once a day to check on things. This past week has not been so good, she can keep nothing down and vomits all the time, the nights seem to be the worst, we have tried all kinds of drugs but nothing seems to help with this, she is so weak yesterday I was fetching her a drink and she tried to stand and fell down and broke a rib, I am very guilt ridden about that.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you that are going through the same thing.

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 685 Location: UK

My heartfelt sympathy for your mother and for you - It is not an easy time, watching over a loved parent slipping out of life.

brainman · Posted: Fri Sep 28, 2007 11:53 pm Post subject: Re: New to the forum

toonecs, I lived with my father for the last several years of his life. During that time he had multiple hospitalization, surgeries, and a broken leg. He never fully recovered from this last one. Most of the last year of his life, I had to help him take a bath. So I think I know a little bit about what you are experiencing. My heart goes out to you during this absolutely terrible time.

During one year of that time, I too was sick because of a recurrence of my own cancer. During that time, I had to care for each other. So, although it was a difficult time for both of us, I was blessed to be with him. I was the only one with him when he died. I was also with my mother when she died. I could not wish to have had a greater honor than to care for my parents during their time of greatest need.

I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

toonecs · New User Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 6

Thankyou both for your thoughts and prayers,

Brainman that must have been so hard on you I can only imagine but like you I would not change a thing I love having my mom here and would want her no place else. My father also died of cancer in 1994 but with him he passed away 3 weeks after we found out, that same year my moms breast cancer returned. She had one breast removed in 1987 and the other on 1994 and was cancer free up untill a year ago. My husband and stepdaughter are so supportive and good to her I feel blessed that I have both of them. My stepdaughter age 14 lives with us and is an amazing kid, she will sit with my mom for hrs and they watch tv and chat about everything.

brainman · Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 5:58 am Post subject: Re: New to the forum

You are indeed truly blessed to have supportive people around you. My father also had a lot of support... mainly from people in his church. I have never lived in this community until coming to care for my dad and cannot seem to fit in even now after living here for over 5 years now. I do not go to the same church and am not even in the same denomination. I am very liberal in the sense that I try to accept others without judgment (unless they post porn or ads to the forum LOL). Anyhow, the net result is that I have very little support here and that is why I think you are truly blessed.

Is your mother's primary cancer breast cancer that has metastasized or is it due to a second primary? Just wondered about that... it could be either.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

toonecs · New User Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 6

brainman I am so sorry that you don't have support I don't know what I would do without my family and friends.

Tonite my mom is not good atall, she has had little to eat or drink in the past few days, we have oxygen coming and all the necessary supplies to make her last days as comfortable as we can, her hosptial bed will be going in our living room where her favorite chair is because I don't want her stuck in a room seperated from us, we have an open concept house so she will be surrounded by loved ones, her sister came today, her and my mom are the last of 7 siblings, all but 2 have died of cancer. My mother's primary cancer breast cancer has metastasized to her liver and then spread like fire. She had chemo for 3 months starting last Dec and that gave her another 10 months. She is my best friend....always has been and she seems to be at peace now, she talks alot about my dad and says some things that don't make sense but we just agree with her. They have stopped all but her pain meds because she is having a hard time swallowing now and we don't want her to choke. I love her so much but I have come to terms with this and am ready to let her go, even tho I am only 39 and can't stand the thought of not having a mom I don't want her to suffer any longer.

toonecs · New User Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 6

My mom passed away here at home Saturday Oct the 6th at 2:05 am, my husband and I were both by her side, she will be greatly missed but we are happy she is pain free now and with my dad.

brainman · Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:46 am Post subject: Re: New to the forum

Toonecs, I am very sorry about your mother's death. I will continue to pray and think about you and your family during the weeks ahead as you grieve.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

csweens · Regular Joined: 02 Apr 2007 Posts: 29

Toonecs -
I am sorry to hear of your loss - you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

My deepest sympathy
Cindy

In · Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:50 pm Post subject: Re: New to the forum

Toonecs -

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mother. She has passed to a beautiful place and is painfree and happy. She will look over you and your husband for all the ove and support you have given. You are a Daughter anyone would want- truely loving, caring and totally selfless.

remember the good times, forget the bad. Now go and have some much needed Family time the two of you.
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

toonecs · New User Joined: 27 Sep 2007 Posts: 6

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. My moms funeral was yesterday and it was a beautiful sunny day. My mom was such a strong woman and her belief in god very deep she actually went to the church a month ago and talked to the priest and planned everything herself, the priest that did the service she has known for over 20 yrs and he also has cancer, many times during her treatments he was there aswell and they would sit and tell jokes to all of the nurses. We have alot of friends that are in the army and airforce and they all came wearing their uniforms and I know that would mean so much to her as my dad was also military, right after the graveside service the F18 fighters flew over the cemetary, the timing could not have been more perfect .

I miss her so much the house seems so quiet but I know she is in a better place now, pain free and probably watching CNN (she was a news junkie) the last 2 weeks of her life we kept the tv on for her day and night on CNN.

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Coping and Support	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others