The stories here are an inspiration! Thank you

fmdrivegirl

A couple of weeks ago, my dad was also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It has spread to his liver for sure - they just did a biopsy last week to see ??? - well, I'm assuming its to see where else it is and where it originates.
Anyway, especially for you Yvonne and Mae - your stories are so hard to read yet so courageous at the same time. Thank you for shedding a little light on what is coming for my family. I'm sorry that this disease looks so painful for everyone.....And I especially appreciate the fact that you had the talk with your dad.
With the way mine has been behaving, I think I may have the same chat. My biggest fears are that in the next week and a half (before I can get home) this disease will make major progress or will take my dad. I know it seems irrational but there it is. I just wanna go home now.
Anyway, thank you ladies. I will be checking in here regularly as it has become the only site I'm on regularly. I appreciate any comments or thought you have and would really like to hear more from you.
Once again, I'm sorry for your loss - and the helplessness you had to endure. I am once again, wishing the courage and grace that you both showed during your time.
Fm Drive Girl

Mae · Regular Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 22

fm drivegirl

Hope is what keep us going. Like I said before My husband was diagnoised in May 2005. He still works some every day and hopes to fly again this week. He continues to be short of breath and weak but he keeps going. The Dr.s say doing what he can to keep up his strength is good as long as he does not over do (that the hard part when he has a good day) !

Laugh Love and remember all the good times you and your dad have had and tell him again and again how much you love him and how much he has impacted your life.
My thoughts are with you this is a very difficult journey.
Love Mae

fmdrivegirl · Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 7:44 am Post subject: It was a "mistake" - cancer sux!

Thank you Mae. I haven't been on this site as much as I would like lately. I appear to be losing my mind instead - LOL....After Dad's biopsy came back negative for cancer, I was reserved but hopeful....Well, so much for that! Turns out the radiologist didn't hit the "right" spot. Then, my dad was told he could avoid another biopsy cause the GI doctor was sure of what he was seeing on the cat scan. So, he would send him on to the next level instead...Oops, wrong again. Must undergo another biopsy cause they need that positive result for him to see an oncologist. I really am at my wits end.
The good news is that I've decided not to wait myself. I am heading across the country for home on Sunday morning. I will never feel right if I don't get home and see for myself what is going on....Funny though, my mom finally has said "I don't want you to be shocked when you see your father...He looks a little "older" and is a little worse for wear." I can only imagine!!
Mae, how do they make these kind of mistakes?? When my dad got the news that it was negative, he dropped to his knees in the kitchen with tears of joy.....Then - well, you know. It's been such a rollercoaster ride for him and he hasn't even gotten thru the staging yet!! At times I am overcome with anger at the callousness of the situation and the way its being handled by the medical professionals. Life is precious. To give a death sentence, lift it and reimplement it just seems cruel.
Anyway, thanks for your advice and your stories. They are very helpful. I hope you all will be around as I head for Newfoundland. I have a feeling its about it get so much worse and all of you have been here already. Your support is gladly welcome.
Hope all is well in your world - I think its' incredible that your husband is doing as well as he is! What a fighter.....
Take care and I will be looking in regularly for all the updates... Happy Thursday.
FM Drive Girl

Mae · Regular Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 22

Fmdrivegirl

Hi,
I know what you mean about losing your mind. I told a friend of mine (who lost her spouse last June, from conjestive failure) Most days I feel like I am in puberty again, mad,depressed,confussed, happy for some stupid thing, then right back to sad again. I can not cry because my husband just keep saying" be thankful for what we have or we lose what time we have left". But it is soooo hard. It is real hard to watch them lose wt and get weaker and weaker by the min. But we still laugh together and he is still my strength. He tells me all the time how sorry he is that he can't help me like he use to and now is a burden, but I tell him as long as he is in the room he gives me strength he listens and laughs.

Hope all goes well with your dad and the Dr. get him on some meds that slow the process down. Thats all we can hope for and I know its not much. But as you know from reading these post some go so fast. Remember outlook has so much to do with the the illness for him, your mom and you.

I wish there was something else I could say to make things easer but I know there is not. I get so tired of people asking what can they do becasue( nothing) is the answer. The only thing I want is more time and no person can give me that, only God in his grace.

It seams all the cases are different how they go. I do know that at some point it is system failure that gets them. Lung, liver, kidney,GI ect. To difficult to think about.

God bless you and yours I will keep you in my thoughts.

Know you are loved

Jess

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