just needed to vent...

sgishelly · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 1:09 pm Post subject: just needed to vent...

Hello everyone,

I just needed to sit down and write everything out so that I can deal with it. Hope you guys don't mind.

I'm going in the morning for another biopsy. I'm not sure why they are doing another one because they are already sure that I have cancer and I'm having surgery next week. MRM on the right and a simple mastectomy on the left. Anyway, the answer I'm getting is that the biopsy was done on the lymph node and they want to find the primary site. They have pretty good idea where the primary is. Anyway, I figured they could do all that at the surgery but I think that's just because I don't like needles and I'm trying to make it easier on me.

My surgery is scheduled for next Thursday, the 9th. And the closer that day gets, the more nervous I'm becoming. I know this may be a silly question, but when you wake up from mastectomy surgery, do you miss them?? I know that I'm doing the right thing and I know that I will deal with it, but I'm just wondering.

I also have a bunch of questions about chemo. I'm hoping they will wait til after Christmas for that. How long after surgery do they typically begin chemo? I'm already getting worried about losing my hair. I know that's a small thing in the big scheme of things but still....

Anyway....trying to take one thing at a time....

Shelly

Lorie Brady · New User Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Michigan

I was reading your post and wanted to send good vibes your way for the upcoming surgery.

Of course you are nervous-it is a tough operation. I had bi-lateral masectomies in May 04' IDC left breast and DCIS right); immediate reconstruction (expanders) and pretty much was laid up for 5 weeks. I had 4 drains in each side (pain the you know what). Women are tough though and I am sure you will do fine.

Some suggestions; I made sure you get some loose fitting men's shirts ( like pajama tops) and pretty much lived in those for weeks. My fiancee' really kept up with the drains-every four hours he stripped them which really aided in my healing. I religiously did the exercises; I had alot of muscle spasms on my left side and as much as it hurt I think it helped the healinfg process as well. Baby yourself the first few weeks, eat well and if you have a recliner use that for aehile instead of a bed.

As far as chemo, my onc said the timeline is 8 weeks after the surgery. I opted for no chemo (personal decision), but I had cancer before and lost all my hair which was long, blonde..and well you get the picture. I lost it all and it was kinda odd being bald. It grew back tho--even thicker!!

Big hugs to you.....Lorie

Minnlady13 · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 6:09 pm Post subject: Re: just needed to vent...

Hi Shelly, you can come here and vent any time. This is a big deal. Frustation and nervousness are normal. I can't answer your questions about mast. and chemo (lumpectomy and no chemo here), but I see you have gotten some feedback already. I am sure others will offer they advice and experience. Just know that we will be by your side in spirit during this time. Hugs, Lauri
_________________
Diagnosed 4/11/1996
Lumpectomy, 6 mm tumor
Neg. nodes
ER/PR+
33 rads
Tamoxifen, 5 yrs.
NED

JM · Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 10:36 am Post subject: Re: just needed to vent...

Hi Shelley,

I was diagnosed in September with bilateral breast cancer, so I had no choice but to have double mastectomy. I had that done on October 20th. I was pretty medicated but I do remember laying my arm across my chest just after my surgery at not feeling the warmth of my breasts. It was a strange and sad feeling that I quickly got over considering I was now fighting for my life. I had extensive nodal involvement on both sides and large tumors as well. My first chemo treatment was November 22nd, which was 4 and one half weeks post surgery. I had a port put in a few days before, and because of the bilateral mastectomy, there wasn't really a place to insert the port that wasn't already traumatized from the initial surgery. As a result, even though I've had the port for over two weeks now, the area is bruised and still sore. I went to surgeon for follow up visit yesterday and he said, I'm just taking a longer time than usual to heal, but I did have alot of damage done with the bilateral. So, for you, hopefully the recovery time will be shorter.
My first chemo was not good but it wasn't as bad as I had expected. My dad had it alot worse for his renal cell chemo treatments. I felt yucky through Thanksgiving weekend, but feel good this week. I still have my hair, but expect to lose it by Monday the latest, when I have my second round of chemo. I have chemo every other Monday as part of a dose-dense protocol.
As far as the emotional roller coaster goes, I'm on it. 99% of the time I'm just moving forward and going with the flow. 1% of the time I am in my shower as the tears roll down my face. I couldn't afford reconstruction and sometimes when I look in the mirror it all comes rushing over me and it is more than I can bare. I don't have this feeling too often because I force myself to move on. I turned 45 after my surgery and before my first chemo. I was going to school part time and working part time so I didn't have health insurance.

I hope I was able to help you in some way. Take care,
_________________
JM Age 44
DX9/04 Lobular
10/04 Dbl MRM 9 cm tumor & 16 pos nodes on right side & 12 cm tumor & 18 pos on left
Stage 3C ER+/PR+ HER2-
11/04 AC-T
3/05 -6/05 Rads under arms,sides & chest, collarbones to last ribs. 3rd degree burns,lost 5 layers skin
4/05 Tamoxifen-Is it hot in here or is it just me?

sgishelly · Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 8:05 pm Post subject: Re: just needed to vent...

Thanks to everyone for responding. One more question...What Type of clothing do I need to take for coming home from the hospital? Is a button up type shirt better? Will I need anything special at home after the surgery?

sgishelly · Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 8:11 pm Post subject: Re: just needed to vent...

Thanks to everyone for responding. One more question...What Type of clothing do I need to take for coming home from the hospital? Is a button up type shirt better? Will I need anything special at home after the surgery?

I had my biopsy today. They were originally planning to biopsy both sides but they were unable to find anything on the right other than the lymph node that had already been biopsied, so they just did the left. When I asked about that, they said that the primary tumor may possibly be hidden behing my lymph node in the axilla tail (I think that is what they called it). The lymph node is swollen so big that they cannot see what is behind it. Anyway, because of that lymph node, they are 99% sure there is cancer in the right breast. Surgery is scheduled for next Thursday. I'm just ready to get it overwith.

Shelly

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