Holidays

reenie · Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:26 pm Post subject: Holidays

There is no manual for grieving- we just do the best we can. The other day the kids and I were decorating for Christmas, Sam loved the holidays and by golly we were going to honor that. We were doing fine, we put the tree up and pulled all the boxes out from the closet Sam had made last year in some useless space under our stairs. I remember watching him work on the closet just days after last Christmas - he seemed so tired those days... before we knew. All this reminded me of how hard Sam worked to make things easier for us, how he always took care of us. The decorating was bittersweet but we were making it, then we came to the box with the stockings... such a simple symbol of the hole in our family brought us crashing down. We just couldn't hang his stocking and we couldn't leave it down. So we stopped what we were doing and had a good cry. In a day or two we hung the stockings- all 4 of them. Maybe next year will be different but this year we just couldn't face another sign of our loss...

missumom · Experienced user Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 65

I sit here and I'm trying desperately to put my thoughts into words. Forgive me if I seem to be dragging. I wanna say something uplifting that would somewhat help you, but right now, I can't seem to think of anything. All I know is that I went through the same pain last year. I think it's great that you and your family are doing Christmas because your husband loved the holidays. It is bittersweet, like you said. There's nothing wrong with hanging up his stocking this year or next year, and the year after that. I feel that although they're not physically with us, they're spirit remains with us forever. I think they can hear us and see us. I think they come around us every now and then. I really do believe that.

It's been a year since my mom passed away. I look at her pictures and still can't believe that she's gone. She was a great mom! I miss her terribly. It's funny at times, you feel like you've taken this big step forward from grieving and something happens that throws you four steps back. You hang in there. Grieving is certainly not easy. It's the hardest thing that I have to live with. I carry on everyday for my mom and you have to do the same for your Sam.

May God ease the pain of those left behind to grieve. Take care....

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