| Author |
|
brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 3962
Location: Tennessee
|
 Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:29 am Post subject: Marty |
 |
|
I do not consider myself to be an eloquent writer and not particularly creative. Nor do I think for myself as a very inspiring writer. I do not have a Muse who speaks very often or very loudly. Certainly my spelling and grammar need major help. Reviewing some of my older posts I was astounded at how many simple spelling error I found. So I ask you to bear with me as I try to write this post.
In the process of serving our community, I have had the opportunity to meet in the virtual world many wonderful and caring individuals. Part of the blessing of being me is also painful. I form attachment to people very quickly… even people who I only know over the Internet. These attachments can be astonishingly strong and maybe even one-sided, i.e. the other person may not even know how strongly I feel a bond with him or her. Often, they are people like me who are struggling but willing to reach out to others at the same time. Although some for these are relatively new members, most have been members at least as long as I.
One of these individuals joined this community on December 20, 2004, a little less than one year before I joined and only a few months after Dr. Leo began this community. His real name I will not reveal. He signs most of his posts as “Marty” (username “freeio”). Many of you have probably never read any of his posts even though at present he has posted over 80 messages. He focuses primarily on Pancreatic Cancer. Although he may not know this, I count him as our right hand person when it comes to information about Pancreatic Cancer. He is a long-term survivor… especially since he has had advanced Pancreatic Cancer most of this time. I am always confident when I see his name as one who has replied to a new or old member.
There are so many reasons why I feel so close to Marty that this post would be mind boggling if I tried to make a comprehensive list. Suffice it to say that his care for others, his long-term survival, his great outlook on life, and his expression of concern for me personally are major reasons.
So it was as if someone had punched me in the stomach when I read Marty’s post Friday night (August 10, 2007). If you have not read it and wish to, here is the link to it:
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6939
In summary, after years of holding the cancer at bay with chemotherapy, the doctors have informed Marty that the chemo is no longer help and they have discontinued Marty’s therapy. Although there are still options available to Marty, the outlook is bleak. That night, I lost it. I was talking with a friend who is not a member of this community and was telling her about Marty's news. I could not stop crying. It sent me into a major depression that last all day Saturday and Sunday. I barely got out of bed on those days. I had to force myself out of bed on Monday and have finally been able to put on paper how affected I am about Marty’s condition. My depression is not Marty’s fault… it is something I struggle with periodically anyhow. However, just the thought of losing a valued member and friend hurts to the core of my being.
As with most of those who I feel a strong connection, Marty probably does not know this, much less understands it. I have read most of Marty’s messages. Those about himself are filled with courage and hope. His replies to others are filled with compassion and insightful information. His personal blog is very educational and inspiring. Although I know that Marty is confident in the Lord gathering him up into the community of saints above, I am not ready to let go.
Marty, you still have a lot of work to do down here. There are many who still need your spirit and inspiration… me included.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
freeio
Senior User
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
Posts: 116
Location: Guntersville, Alabama
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:11 am Post subject: I'm not gone yet! |
|
|
Jim,
I am still here, and intend to continue here until I cannot do so any longer. Please understand that I do not see this pancreatic cancer as some evil curse. Rather, I see it as an opportunity for service, and one which I am (due to circumstances well beyond my control) in a unique situation to help with. I can say things and get away with it because I am already there, and have been through much of the pancreatic cancer cycle. Now I would never wish PC upon anyone, but in this case I choose to use the otherwise horrible situation for a better cause.
Anyone who knows me personally knows I wear my faith on my sleeve. As a Christian, I am not worried about my future in the slightest, and so I am freed to live life fully. While I am here, I can serve. When I go Home, I can serve there also. Either way, I am satisfied. With this perspective, even though my passing is probably not too far off, yet there is no reason to fear.
As always, the link to my cancer blog is in the signature block below.
Marty
_________________
-------------------------------------------------
whipple procedure, Oct. 21, 2004
28 days of radiation
56 days of Chemo using Xeloda
diagnosed as progressive recurrent pancreatic adenocarcinoma (Stage IV) Jun. 20, 2006
was treated with gemcitabine, oxaliplatin, and tarceva, which all failed.
Cancer blog: http://diehlmartin.com/cancer.html |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
Search 
Email Digests
Register to post
Profile 
Check private messages 
Log in
What is this ?
We subscribe to the HONcode principles. Verify here. All content and posts are copyright.
