Suicide- Why Such a Repulsion?

James edward · New User Joined: 16 Jun 2009 Posts: 4

I last posted on June 16th, and my aunt was fairly stable.
What a difference a couple of weeks make.
She now is extremely uncomfortable around her midsection, has
sharp pains in her side, and always has a wince/frown on
her face from pain.
She had a priest come over and give last rites.
Yes, she is in home hospice care as of two days ago, and they are
trying several things to make her comfortable. She has expressed
numerous times "I am ready, really ready, to go."
But it is never an option to the patient to end their suffering. She
has a DNR, is completely of sound mind, yet the suffering will continue.
Does anyone other than myself feel that the person should have
the ability to end their life when there is no hope, and they are
fully cognizant of their actions?
The cynic in me also sees extraordinary amounts of money in end-
of-life care. I'll bet that the last three days alone has cost a minimum
ten thousand dollars- a hospital bed delivered, oxygen machine,
portable oxygen, medications, consults, etc., etc.
Why is this almost never discussed?
Sorry if this is offensive to those that always hold out hope, but I just don't see the point, and moreover, the rationale behind this.
Is there anyone else out there that feels this way too?

brainman

I am not against suicide just concerned that too many people would take their own lives when they are depressed and really should or could like on for many more years if they receive proper treatment. I know that when I was first diagnosed and taking chemo I felt like dying. I suffer from bipolar disorder so from time to time I feel like life is just not worth living. However, I know enough about myself to understand that my feeling are irrational.

In the case of your aunt, I do not know enough about her to know if suicide would be appropriate or not. Even were it is legal (Oregon I think) there are strict guidelines and restrictions.

Sorry for this "lecture". I feel like I have ignored the pain she must be feeling. I know how hard pancreatic cancer can be. I often say that pancreatic cancer is one of the worse cancers because of the devastation impact on the quality of life.

You and your aunt are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=2405
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=2528
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 3: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Twitter: @JimHawkins54

Adagio7780

There are many thousands of people who feel just as you do. Google 'suicide groups' and you will be rewarded with many results. Logic usually loses out to emotion, and this issue is no different. I wish your loved one comfort and peace.
_________________
Man tracht, Got lacht (Man plans, God laughs)

James edward · New User Joined: 16 Jun 2009 Posts: 4

I should have mentioned that she is 83 years old. She opted not to go the chemo/radiation route, as she had seen the side-effects on others.

Significantly younger people would be well advised to try and fight and live.

James edward · New User Joined: 16 Jun 2009 Posts: 4

"Logic usually loses out to emotion"

What do you mean? Please understand I am not disagreeing with you, I just don't understand. It seems as though the logic and emotion sides could be equally argued.

wannaknow · Senior User Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 118

Spoiler - Those in the midst of the fight might wanna skip the following;

JE:
I hear You and agree with your 1st post............but what would all the oncologists do with all their free time?.........think I'll stop here as I feel myself capable of going down a real bad road that has no place here.

Did find the following:
The only four places that today openly and legally, authorize active assistance in dying of patients, are:

Oregon (since l997, physician-assisted suicide only);
Switzerland (1941, physician and non-physician assisted suicide only);
Belgium (2002, permits 'euthanasia' but does not define the method;
Netherlands (voluntary euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide lawful since April 2002 but permitted by the courts since l984).

Also found link to Detailed Stats in Oregon - State requires tracking - interesting:
http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/ph/pas/docs/yr11-tbl-1.pdf

I have definitely given it lots of thought since losing 2 parents to cancer. Maybe I better move to Oregon soon (also Federal gov't was going after law under Bush).........or the Netherlands where you could smoke a joint in the park while making up your mind. Wink

Very seriously, All the Best to your Aunt & You..............

Adagio7780

When I say 'logic loses out to emotion', I simply point out that we are by and large emotional beings. The current state of affairs is a compromise where we administer powerful drugs at the very end of the patient's life to keep him comfortable (we suppose) while the cancer finishes him off. (I rather suspect that this is the way my story will end.) I THINK I would prefer to say goodbye to my family and close friends while hooked up to an IV, and then open the valve myself. Seems tidy, and it saves everyone the unspeakably horrid death watch.

I have been at the deathbed of two relatives who died from cancer, my stepfather who fought a blood cancer for eight years, and a brother-in-law who fought stomach cancer for two years. I wish I had had a conversation with them about their thoughts on this subject. My family does not wish for me to commit suicide and my feelings for them require me to consider those wishes. I pray they will keep me comfortable, though. My god how I pray.
_________________
Man tracht, Got lacht (Man plans, God laughs)

Queensland Girl

Hello,

I too have lost both of my parents to this disease. With my Mum, I prayed on one hand for her to die and be at peace, and on the other hand to stay with us another day.

It did cross my mind that it would be easy to help her pass over as my Mum had a large bottle of morphine syrup, and that the whole bottle would have probably made her go. Despite everything that happened with my Mum, I am glad that she didn't ask for my help. I don't know that I could have helped her.

Everyone is different and reacts differently to these ordeals. Whilst I do remember the bad times, what I talk about with my family are the happy and good times. My Mum and Dad have not diminished in my view despite how their lives have ended.

I hope that you and your Aunt find peace during this time.
_________________
Regards,

Queensland Girl

Mum diagnosed June 1993, surgery and chemo died August 1993 (Pancreatic Cancer)
Dad diagnosed July 2007, chemo only died January 2008 (Pancreatic Cancer)

ethan20 · Regular Joined: 12 Jan 2009 Posts: 23

When my dad was dying with hospice I wanted to end it for him myself. I felt like he was choking to death. I felt that even with all the morphine, just what if he did know what was going on? I wanted to put a pillow over his face and end it all. My father was my best friend. I would have done anything to save him. In the end I just wanted to make it happen fast. He was the most wonderful person in the world and did not deserve to suffer. I know this isn't really responding to your suicide message, just in case anyone out there had those feelings like I did. You're not alone.

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Pancreatic Cancer Forum	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others