Stopping the chemo and nervous doctor

Montenegrita · Regular Joined: 17 Nov 2007 Posts: 38

As per his co-workers, I have a great doctor - oncologist. But my experience with him is confusing me very much. He told me to do cetrain things in order to ease my side effects that I didn't like at all (just common sense told me that won't work) and indeed that made me even more sick. Some advices from him sounded at least weird. Not everything though. Well, being well educated myself (medical field) I ask him questions and write down every single detail that happened to me during the chemo. Chemo is not that hard on me at all (for now and I am on the half way through). My doctor in very nervous type and does not have any communication skills. When I come to his office, I do not stay for longer then 5 minutes. All he does is asking me only one question - "How are you?" Therefore I feel like asking questions - his answers are very short and he does not initiate any conversation. He is very, very cold. Then he got very upset with my latest question (which was very valid!) and then he told me this: "We shall do scan and if it turns to be OK, you may want to think to stop this chemo as it is hard on you!". And he knows that is absolutely not true!!! On last visit, he even confirmed that! I got this as "Go out and find another doctor!. What are your experiences and what do you think I shall do?

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 692 Location: UK

It is so important to feel you can trust your doctor. If you don't feel this, then can you switch to another one?

bendamron

my wife switched doctors after three cycles. it seemed like a disruptive thing at first, and we had a lot of friends who thought it be unwise to do this in the middle of treatment, but then again, she will be in the middle of treatment for a long time. her doctor was very abrupt, and never seemed totally interested, and was not a fighter. our first impression of him was, his exact words after my wife asked the million dollar question, he responded with 'this is the disease that will most likely take your life' my wife is 30 years old! and for how many million ways to say this, he picked the most obvious blatant way. long story short, during a lengthy stay in the hospital (after my wife was not responding to folfox, and after on cycle of folfiri), her dr. was out of town for five days, and another dr. took his place, and she fell in love with his bedside manners, patience, explanations, and humor. since then, and by total coincidence, all of her levels have improved drastically. the new regimen was working, but she likes to give her new doctor a lot of credit for it. she figured this is a really sh*tty situation, why does it need to be more difficult with an intolerant doctor who couldn't give a rats ass?
when her old dr came back from break (still in the hospital) the changing of the guards took place at 7am. three nurses, and an intern were present and after all was said and done with, they all said it was the most intense thing they have witnessed in a very long time.
my wife is happier, and so am i.

ps, this old dr. suggested we 'tie' up loose ends and figure out when/what is too much, and after two cycles he asked if she wanted to continue treatment or start palliative care! she's 30 years old and never showed any signs of giving up! go find a doctor who has the same fight as you do! keep us all posted.
_________________
my wife (30 yrs old) diagnosed nov 10, 2007 with stage IV colon cancer with met to liver and lungs. current treatment of folfiri + 5fu + avastin, and weekly infusions of erbitux (cetuximab).
did not respond to folfox.

brainman

It is so very difficult when your doctor gives you mixed messages. But it is equally difficult to start all over again with a new doctor. At this point, your doctor knows a lot about your case so it will take a new doctor some time to fully catch-up. Nevertheless, it might be worth it if your current doctor does not communicate well with you.

Best wishes.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

Montenegrita · Regular Joined: 17 Nov 2007 Posts: 38

Your location is in Seattle, that's where I am, may be we are sharing the same doctor? Well, not that I hate him, I just don't understand lots coming from his side of my story. I would certainly do things differently.

PrairiePrincess · Regular Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 10

Alas, the kind of people who have what it takes to become board certified specialists don't always have what it takes to deal with real live patients!

Unless you think the doc has a set of skills that cannot be found elsewhere, and that his unique skill set is worth putting up with him/her over, move on.

You have a right to be treated by a medical team who treat you with compassion, sensitivity, and decency. They need to have good communications skills, so you don't end up fretting at home with a million questions.

Be kind if you change specialists, but don't fret: this can be a valuable learning opportunity for your soon to be ex-specialist!

REB

I would get another doctor if I was you. I love my doctor. He is a straight shooter, but he is also very positive.

He also gets things done. When I have had to get certain test done, he's made sure they get schedualed and are ready for me. I am so used to the old saying, "If you want something done right, you got to do it yourself," and having to do the legwork myself, but not with him. When he says he is going to do something, follow up on something, or I need to do something, he makes sure it gets done. He stays on top of everything.

A good doctor can make all the difference. Thank you Dr. Seymour
_________________
10/01/07 - Removal of Stage III Colon Cancer Tumor and Temporary Colostomy
Started Chemotherapy 11-07-07 - FOLFOX regimen - 5-FU (5 Flurouracil) and leucovorin, oxaliplatin. Also Avastin
Last Chemo treatment 04-09-08, Colostomy Reversal 04-28-08 Age:41

milliesmom · Regular Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 34

Hi,
I went to Swedish Cancer Institute and changed to the Good Sam group in Puyallup, closer to where I live.

I find the doctors here are much more positive and believe in the mind/body connection than my doctor at Swedish.

I would leave that doctor as soon as possible. My brother went to a doctor in Olympia and he told him to go home a die. He had esophageal cancer. I found a surgeon for him at Good Sam and he did the surgery. The doctors in Olympia wouldn't do surgery. My brother is now 9 years out and is doing very good with no cancer returning. He also had lots of prayers and did guided imagery. I call guided imagery, physician heal thyself.

There is plenty of evidence that positive thinking can make or break a cancer patient. I've been doing very well and I don't have a doubt in my mind that I'm going to be cured. My last test, showed the mass they thought was cancer, was an abscess, not cancer at all. I still have rectal cancer, but not outside the rectum where my first doctor's didn't even bother to check out. In fact, if they had gone ahead and done the radiation, it might have harmed me.

Now, to give them credit, I quit going to them before they did an extra CT scan. I don't know if they were going to do it or not, but the extra CT scan made the radiologist disagree with the doctor and so I had a biopsy to just make sure that it wasn't cancer, but an abscess.

I would run from the doctor you have. Your wife's life is more important than this doctor's feelings. Her doctor reminds me of some doctor's who just need to go into another field until they get some of their own demons ironed out. They might have seen so much misery that they no longer are a blessing to their patients. They should have the good sense to know when to leave, but sadly they don't. They should have some sort of peer review to check on each other's mental health, but I'm sure they don't have that either.

You have no idea what this doctor might be going through. I have a doctor friend who is down in the dumps, really bad, over a patient that recently died. Right now, I don't know if he could be there for another really ill cancer patient. He might, but I do know he is doing very poorly dealing with this person's death.

Your wife's doctor could be in a similar situation.

Find someone else. Fresh eyes can sometimes see new things. Does your wife qualify for clinical trials? Why would anyone give up without going through all kinds of trials.

From what you said, I don't think your doctor "hears" what your wife is saying. If she is doing okay, then it just doesn't make sense that he wants to pull her away from any cure she might have.

Please look into another doctor. I have two sons your wife's age. I would fire the doctor immediately.

Milliesmom

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