My mother and spreading cancer - question

wvahistorygirl · New User Joined: 21 May 2008 Posts: 4

Hello all,

My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer last May - she is 83. She has had radiation and chemotherapy. It has now gone to her lymph nodes, liver and bones; she coughs a lot and complains of pain in her ribs, back and arms. Her doctor has her on Tarceva but it has worsened her cough and shortness of breath. I don't know how much of her pain and discomfort is from the drug or the cancer, and I don't know what to expect in the months to come. Can anyone give me some insight here? I love my mom and this is just the most awful thing, to watch her just sort of slowly get weaker and weaker . . . From what I read online the prognosis when cancer reaches the bones is not good. Help! Thank you. Sad

In

Beverly,

I'm so sorry about your Mother, She is lucky to have such a loving daughter, wanting to get advice and support.
From what I understand, When Cancer reaches the bones, It is not a good diagnoisis. I think mainly as there is not much more than can do- tretment wise, Especially when it has spread to many areas.

Alot of the pain, I'm guessing, now would be from the cancer. But get the dosage of the Tarceva checked with her Dr. She should also not be in so much pain, so get the Dr's approval for a pain medication too. Many people worry that a pain medication will make them drugged out or feel like they sleep all the time. There is low doses out there, that may just take the edge off.

Spend as much time with her as you can. Is she at home?
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Thinking of you Inica

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wvahistorygirl · New User Joined: 21 May 2008 Posts: 4

Hi Inica,

Yes, mother's at home. Fortunately I haven't been working the last couple of months and was able to travel down here to be with her. We just signed on with Hospice two days ago and they've been fantastic. Mom's been taking Darvocet for bone pain - Tarceva makes her cough very hard which aggravates her rib pain - but Hospice has provided Vicodin for her to take instead. She used to worry about "getting hooked" on pain meds but now there is no argument. Part of this equation is that my father is totally deaf and has relied on her almost completely for the last 62 years - so he is just lost now that she can hardly get out of bed. I worry about his emotional health as he just sort of hovers around and isn't getting out of the house at all. Sorry to yabber on, but there's so much to consider! God Bless - Beverly

In

beverly,

Sometimes the hardest thing for a Cancer Fighter, is the Family. Watching them hover, and feeling useless. I do feel for you, and your Father. He will be lost, as they have been together for a long while.

Try to change your Father's routine, Get him out and let him do some things himself more. Talk to Hospice on advice and people who can help your Father. There is many places where he can have a written order sheet, for grocerys, and have them delivered. So no need to communicate with people, or get out as much. Companies that will come and do small things, like washing, and cleaning etc.

When someone has relied on another for so long, it can be such a shock, and hard time to find their own way. So by doing a little bit now will help.
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

ksplat

Dear Beverly

I am so saddened to read about your Mother's poor health & current condition. I pray her pain is being better managed now that Hospice have made contact. I know Hospice have a great reputation & experience in these circumstances that your Mother is in. My prayers & thoughts are with you.

Does your parents have contact with their local church? If this is the case I'm certain there will be a volunteer group appointed by the church who will be able to assist your Father with his routine. Even if they're not involved, you should investigate if there is a local community group with volunteers who could offer support of this kind to your Father.

In Australia the Govt funds many charitable organisations who have support & outreach groups to cater for the elderly & infirm who are not very mobile or disabled & not able to go out to the store to collect groceries or pay their bills. I hope there will be an organisation close by who can offer their support to your Father.

I am very glad you have been able to take time off work to care for your Mother & Father. God Bless You.

Angie.
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