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novmode
New User
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:03 pm Post subject: I need help saying goodbye |
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A family member whom i am very close to is dying of cancer, If he was to hang on the doctors say he'd have another month. He's given up though and just wants to die, he has stopped taking the medications he needs to live from his other health problems and doesn't have much time at all now.
Every time i go to visit him i just get so choked up that i can't tell him what i want to. I don't want to cry in front of him because i know that's the last thing he wants. He's still concious and fairly coherent except for all the morphine he's on and i want to tell him before it's too late, but i just don't know how.
Just thinking about what i want to say to him and i start crying, can someone please help me find a way to say what i want to? |
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mousa
Senior User
Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 137
Location: Thailand
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| Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:30 pm Post subject: Re: I need help saying goodbye |
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Dear Novmode,
It seems your family member has made the decision to leave us. I should think he will be flattered that you are so sad that he is going. Please believe me when I say that you can cry your eyes out while saying what you want - that you love and admire him and what he has meant to you. If its possible, give him a hug. If he cries that is good.
Love,
Val |
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novmode
New User
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:40 pm Post subject: Re: I need help saying goodbye |
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| I never got my chance, while he was concious, he passed the other day. I have a lot going on with my family right now, but afterwards i hope to come back here for some support. |
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mousa
Senior User
Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 137
Location: Thailand
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| Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:57 pm Post subject: Re: I need help saying goodbye |
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Dear Novmode,
Thank you for letting us know. Please speak with him now. He can hear you. You may even get a sign from him.
Come back here if you still need to.
Bye for now.
Love, Val |
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anne
New User
Joined: 23 Feb 2006
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:26 am Post subject: Re: I need help saying goodbye |
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I lost my sister on the 7 March.
I tallked to her openly about the fact that I would miss her. Also that I would care for her 2 year old. Show her what she would want her to learn. Show her how to cook, shave her legs, check the guys out etc. Talk to your family member. You will find that they will open up, discuss what they want with you etc. we were not a luvy duvy family, but by approaching the subjects of what she would like, for herself and her family that she was leaving she became very open. |
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mousa
Senior User
Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 137
Location: Thailand
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:40 am Post subject: Re: I need help saying goodbye |
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Dear Anne,
Thank you for writing your message. You and your sister were very sensible to talk about the things you did. The little one is lucky to have such a good auntie to help her in the future. This is a very sad time for you all but your sister is now resting and peaceful and will always be very close. My heart and prayers go out to you in this time of grieving. May God bless and keep you.
Love, Val. |
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