my father died

fluffyf · New User Joined: 08 Mar 2006 Posts: 4

just wanted to say my father died 3 days ago after battling cancer for a year, it was the worste thing i have ever seen he looked so bad in the fina days, and he had no way of letting me know he knew i was there
rip bruno aggiano

ps
i cant seem to find a peom to read at his funeral anyone who can advice me would be great thanks

bethanyaok · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:47 am Post subject: Re: my father died

Hello,

Please accept my condolences on the passing of your dad. It sounds like you've had many challenging years with him, and now to go through the difficulty of seeing him become ill, and die.

I lost my dad to lung cancer in June 2005. I spent as much time with him as I could in the last two years of his life. This was hard since we live in different states. He called me on a Thursday and asked me to come back because he was dying. I had just left on Sunday, but had no idea that death was so near. When I arrived on Saturday, he was not conscious. He lived for two more days, never regaining consciousness. I kept hoping he would open his eyes, and look into mine, but that did not happen. It is so hard to say goodbye.

You asked for poem ideas. Here's a web page with lots of poems. I hope one of them expresses your sentiments and is appropriate for you to read during his service. Here's the link: http://www.bereavement-poems-articles.com/

Here is one of my favorite poems:

I Did Not Die
Melinda Sue Pacho

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

Please surround yourself with people who love you and care about you. It will make the weeks ahead much easier.

Take Care!
Bethany
_________________
Bethany
breast cancer dx 4/17/00
4 AC, 28 rads, tamoxifen
7 years NED, and counting!
BRCA2+ 2/1/07

Lost Dad to Lung Cancer June '05

tilo · Regular Joined: 27 Apr 2006 Posts: 21

I am so sorry for your loss... take care and keep strong.

justin90069 · Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 4:40 pm Post subject: At the end

I am sorry to hear of your father - my dad is entering the final phase - he was diagnosed 16 months ago - but has been bedridden for 4 weeks - he was placed on oxygen yesterday, and put on morphine to combat pain from secondary bone cancer. He is not eating, throws up a lot and can not move very well on his own. He coughs up a lot of blood too - and his breathing is not very good. I know we are at the end, but does anyone have a clue as to how long his suffering will be? its funny, we never got along (ever), but I feel so bad for him now - I flew in to see him, at which he smiled (the only time I can remember) and told me he was going to buy a vacation house for me up the street from theirs... powerful disease - humbling as well -
I am just trying to get an idea as to how long "the end" is - and how bad it is...
Any advice, thoughts or experiences are greatly appreciated...
thanks
justin
_________________
Justin

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