Life expectancy of Stage IV NSCLC

bkerber1

RK,
My dad was diagnosed in January. He was coughing up blood. He really had no other symptoms. He took radiation and other than losing alot of weight he did pretty well. He started getting sick when he would try to eat certain things. He was hungry but it would make him throw up. He was not on any pain medication when that happened. Probably the first of April he had bad shortness of breath. His lung had fluid on it, also the sac around his heart. In the ER they put in a chest tube a drained his lung. He said instantly he was hungry and he ate all the hospital food they brought without any throwing up. As soon as he got home about 4 days later it started again. He never did fully recover and I believe that his lungs must have started filling up again because he died May 6 and they had drained alot of fluid off both lungs. That was the first time he had had a definite diagnosis because all the other biopsies showed nothing. I hope thats not the case with your stepdad and probably isnt because he is still able to breathe ok. My dad also never talked about death. He I think felt til the end that they could keep him going. It made it so much harder on us kids. I know how you are feeling and will keep you in my thoughts.
Becky

mrsponydr1ver · Regular Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 17

My dad was diagnosed October 12, 2005 and he died January 5,2006.

Frist we were told that if he didn't have the surgery to remove the cancer tumor that had spread to his brain he would have about 2 to 3 monhs.
After surgery he was told that he had a year or less. After full brain radiation he was told six months or less. He still died in three months. He had so many other problems though. Every case is different. He was 6"2 and weighed about 115 before he had the surgery. There was no way that he could have taken chemo I don't think. He had just given up and really didn't fight anymore. He had been sick for a total of 3 years with so many different things.

nora · Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 2:38 pm Post subject: my mothers lung cancer

First of all i would like to say how greatful i am that i found this site. My mother was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer on Nov 5 2005 her syptoms were mostly fatigue no pain or coughing she just felt really tired all the time. In april she completed her last of 6 chemo sessions . She had a CT in Late April and all was well. 3 weeks ago she started with a cough which really worried me so i took went with her for her f/u exam The Dr. suggested another CT which was done this past friday. I called this morning to get the results and the news wasnt good the tumor has started groing again. I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. She is such a strong lady both physically and emationally,( alot stronger than me) her faith has gotten her though everything.She has so much energy still I myself at 38 years old feel like a scared child rite now im scared for her, last thing i want is for my mother to die of lung cancer. I still cant beleive that this is happening to my family.

bkerber1

nora,
Im so sorry about your mom. I know how you feel. I thought our family was invincible. Then bam, bam both gone in 5 months with lung cancer. I think I have been in shock since January. I still cry some most every day. I miss them so very badly. I hope that your mom can get more treatment and be around for a good long while. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Becky

mrsponydr1ver · Regular Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 17

Nora,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My dad was the strongest person that I knew and I never imagined him dying from anything. It's funny that you mention in your post how you feel like a small child. Boy can I relate! My dad told me a week before he died that I look like a little lost girl (I'm 37). I told him that I was lost. I think that the best way that I have heard it described is this: the loss of a parent is just like being left in a grocery store by mistake, you are walking around like a little lost girl looking for your parent, afraid and crying. Even though your mom is not gone I guess you could still be going through something like this, I'm not sure.

nora

Thank you all for your kind words. it is very nice to hear from people who know what my family and i are going through. I find myself waking up every morning with that dark cloud hanging over me all day every day.
I look at my mom everyday and i admire her she is living her life cooking cleaning, reading the bible worring about having a cooked meal for myself and my kids when we get home from school and work. I tell her not to do anything to just rest t but its not in her to not do anything so i let her be. The cough is getting worse she has a Dr. Appt on tues to see what will be done next. every time she coughs i cringe she tells me not to worry that she has no pain and that everything will be alright. Im trying to be strong but it is very hard i worry about whats going to happen,i get angry because there is nothing i can do to stop her from suffering through chemo or anything else. Again i am so greatful for this site. At least this gives me a chance to vent. Thank you all again

Nora

Lana8 · Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 11:10 pm Post subject: Bless You

Nora,
I am so sorry that your family has to go through this pain. Bless You for being there for your mother. That is what us mothers want is to do for our kids. I know that when my sister got sick I couldn't hardly believe that I was loosing her to such a terrible disease as lung cancer. She was busy up until the very end. She saw to it that the house was in order, food in the freezer and a maid to help with the house work for her disabled husband with just one leg. The maid still goes to their house and cleans once a week. Linda picked her out. When I was called and was able to be with her, I only got one week. God took her within one week of me arriving. Just keep talking with your mom. She will let you know when she needs extra time for herself. Keep us all informed we do care. I found this forum to be very helpful also to me because it would listen to me vent and even answer. God be with you and your family. Lana8

peggers · New User Joined: 17 Jun 2006 Posts: 3

My mom was diagnosed on May 22, 2006 with inoperable NSCLC. It was 2 days after her 80th Birthday. When we tried to get the DR. to give us a time estimate he said a few weeks to a few months but he went back to the few weeks and kept apologizing to us. For what we still don't know because she was in the hospital for totally unrelated issues. It's now the 17th of June and my mom was moved from skilled care back to the hospital yesterday because they thought she had pneumonia. It's actually the lungs filling with fluid as a part of the progression of the disease. She has now refused all treatment and is demanding that my 2 sisters and I take turns with her so she is never alone. She is refusing to let any of the grandchildren (Ages 22-40) to come and see her or take a shift. I don't want to sound like a whiner but has anyone else ever been in this situation ? My 1 sister and I have to work full-time and this is wearing us out. Any cheer/encouragement/solutions would be appreciated. Peggers

winnymac

Peggers,

So sorry to hear about your mom. No matter what age our parents are or we are this is just so difficult.
Is your mom still in the hospital and if so for how long? Sounds like you could get hospice involved for help with this. However, in my expericence they don't have volunteers or staff that stay with patients for more than a couple of hours at a time. You can talk to the social worker at the hospital and they might be able to help you with the transistion and maybe recommendations.
My sister and I help my mom taking care of my dad but we both work and have families also. We trade off each night going over there and sometimes that really takes a toll, but nothing on the level that it sounds like you are dealing with.
I think you may have to tell your mom that although you want to do all you can for her and honor her wishes, that she needs to have some understanding also and allow friends or other relatives to fill in if they are able and willing. If you or your sister get ill, trying to keep up this schedule, then you won't be able to be around her at all and that is not what anyone wants either.
Don't feel guilty, you are doing your best for her. This is the time that you need to accept the help from other family members and friends. They might want that time with her also to say goodbye and she needs to be able to give them that opportunity too.
Prayers to you and your family - hang in there - you are stronger than you know.

Linda
Salem OR

Lana8

Peggers,
Just thought I would let you know how my sister died. One lung had filled with fluid by the 30th of May. The family called me and I flew to Texas. The other lung had filled with fluid and she had passed just one week after I had gotten there. In all we are talking two weeks. I was wanting more time with her. God be with you all. Spend what time you can with her. When it is gone, it is gone forever. My sister was 60. Lana8 Crying or Very sad

peggers · New User Joined: 17 Jun 2006 Posts: 3

Winnymac and Lana8, Thanks for the feedback ! I think we are making some (gentle) headway with my mom. I stayed with her yesterday from 3-12pm and we convinced her that she would be fine sleeping until 5am until my sister could come up. Also, she is allowing my niece who was a cna to come up from 1-6 tonight. We asked the nurses for a recliner for the room and when they asked why we explained that the first day my mom was there it took them 45 minutes to help her off of the potty chair and how now she won't be left alone. The three times yesterday when I needed help getting her back to bed the reponse time was immediate ! Mom is basically awake for only 15-20 minutes out of every 3-4 hours when she has to go potty now. They are talking about moving her to hospice tommorrow but we are still dealing with Medicaid/Medicare on it. This forum is great ! I've told 2 friends about it because sometimes you need more than family and freinds to talk to for objectivity. Peggers

bkerber1

Peggers,
I read your post and just had to reply. You are in the same situation that my family was in. My parents lived 2 hours from all five of us kids. Dad was diagnosed in Jan and Mom in March with lung cancer. We had so many appointments to help them with and we were at our wits end. Thank goodness my sister and I had jobs that we could leave for extended days at a time. My dad drove himself to radiation for almost the entire time. Mom had neighbors help for a while. Dad was in the hospital for fluid build up about 3 weeks before he died. They sent him home and he was never the same. He couldnt breathe well. The day after he came home we had to send Mom to a hospice house in our hometown. She had gotten where she couldnt get out of bed. We brought Dad down that weekend to live with my sister. Mom died 6 days later and I had just happened to stop by hospice early on my way to work. I was there 15 minutes when she died. Dad had to be taken back to the hospital a few days later and he had alot more fluid build up. Thank goodness it was in our town. We were able to be with him because it was on a weekend. My sister took more time than me because she is a teacher and had comp time. Three of us kids were with my dad when he passed in the hospital. I remember how hard it was coordiating their care. The three boys were not as available and we grumbled sometimes about it but I really would have put my job last if it had come to that. I would never have forgiven myself if I had been gone. My parents were never demanding of our time and always worried that we would get in trouble at work. They died May 1 and May 6 of this year and I am truly thankful for having the opportunity to spend their last days getting to know them in a very different way than I had all of my life.
I know you are at your wits end but just do what you are able to do and thats all you can ask of yourself. Im so sorry you're having to go through this and I will be thinking of you.

Becky

peggers · New User Joined: 17 Jun 2006 Posts: 3

bkerber1, Thanks for writing back. I too have bosses that are wonderful about the whole situation. I can leave anytime I need to. My oldest sister doesn't work outside of the home but has grandchildren that she takes care of and her youngest daughter is due with twins in about 5 weeks. My first grandchild is due in about 2 months and I know my mom can't last that long. My dad and grandmother both died shortly before my daughter was born and I selfishly feel shortchanged about them not seeing the new arrivals on all parts. I think that today I'm going for a walk in our woods and stomp my feet and shout that it's not fair !!! REAL LOUD !!! Maybe that will help !?! Lol !! Might scare a few deer but it won't hurt anyway !! Everyone take care ! Peggers

Lana8

Peggers,
While you are out for that walk do a lot of crying also. It helps with the mind. You will find there will be times that the tears come. Let them flow. It will help. Lana

sad sister · New User Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2 Location: new jersey

wow I just found this site. My brother 47 years old just got diag. with IV stage NSCLC. I flew to florida on mother's day 5/14/2006 to be with him. He had a brain tumor that they were able to remove and one they couldn't. This all happened so fast. He had a headache for a week, And then couldn't get up, so a neighbor called an ambulance. They did the radiation on the tumor site they removed and started today on the tumor in the front of his brain.
They said they didn't find cancer anywhere else other than the primary lung tumor. So the doctors suggested chemo. And they gave him 1 to 1 1/2 years tops. Everything I read here suggests that's not true. Although my brother is in good health otherwise. I'm not sure I should make him do the chemo. if it's not going to help. Just make his life misrable. He still is smoking (I can't blame him) I'm 44 and quit 16 years ago. I made my husband quit when I came home from florida.

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