tpabst
New User
Joined: 11 Nov 2006
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 4:14 pm Post subject: Lung Cancer metatacized to liver |
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| My mother is 82 and in April was diagnosed with lung cancer stage 1. After the new Cynberknife radiation treatment, the doctors said the tumor in her lung was gone. A few weeks ago they found 5-6 tumors on her liver. She has been very tired for several months, but other than that has not deteriorated severly. PErhpas some memory loss. I am having a very difficult time finding any information regarding what to expect. Reading many of your letters, it seems when the end comes it is very fast...days. My mother also has no idea what will happen. She is afraid of the pain, strange for someone who has been feriously independent and strong her entire life. I live in Montana and she is in Wisconsin, and I do not know what to do. My brother is a surgeon in NY, but we have little contact. I just started a new company that is very involved and am in process of hiring many employees. I have 2 cats and a dog and have difficulty finding someone to care for them. I am visiting her for Thanksgiving and plan to drive with the critters for Christmass and stay for a while. I don't even know if I am waiting too long to drive...as there is just know way to know how fast this will progress. My mother does not want me there to see her when things get worse and I do not know if I can bear to watch her die. We are very close and I talk to her 2-3 times a day...for many years. She is having a terrible time trying to get things done and normal routines have become difficult. Friends are helping, but they spend more time hanging out and exhausting her than helping. She does not have the heart to tell them to leave. She is afraid to shower alone and hospice will only visiting nurses will only come for that twice a week. I have told her we will get full time care, but she does not want it...wants to do on her own as ong as she can. She will not let me make calls to help her...can't even get her docotr to call me. I feel helpless and confused and cry a lot. How do I help her and what do I tell her to make her feel not so afraid. Her faith in God is steadfast and she does not fear death...I think just the process. Please feel free to email directly, I woul like to know what to expect and how to better help her deal with the system. It is impossible from so far away, but I am in a tuff spot to leave and be there indefinetly. Appreciate any wise consul. |
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MPapailiou
Experienced user
Joined: 13 Sep 2005
Posts: 65
Location: Greece
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| Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:27 am Post subject: Re: Lung Cancer metatacized to liver |
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Hi!
My Mom passed away 6 months ago. She was 65 and she had secondary liver cancer, which was a lung cancer metastasis.
I'm not in a position to give you advice, I will just try to share our story with you and you may find in it something usefull.
From the time of the diagnosis till the time of her death, 9 months passed by. She was feeling extremely tired even before we found out about her illness. Friends and relatives only made things worse. They would make her more tired, or ask a lot of questions, or tried to give advice about her medications - confusing her. At the end, my brother, my sister and I, agreed with her that we should protect her from everything that doesn't help her feel good and comfortable. We told everybody to stop calling, or visiting. We would call them instead with any news. My mom was so relieved.
She was also very stressed, because she thought she would be a burden to us. We tried to resolve this with as many ways as possible. Thank God, she had a good insurance and we arranged for her a one bed room at the hospital. She preferred the hospital than the house because she had professional help whenever needed, and even though we were with her all the time, she felt that she was not a burden...
Her end was very peacefull. She was taking morphine for the pain, so most of the time she was sleeping. At her last days she was in a "coma" somehow. She just passed away peacefully while "sleeping".
I have to tell you one thing. I tried to spend as much time possible with her, allthough I too had a lot of work, many obligations, etc...
NEVERTHELESS, not even one day goes by that I don't think that I should have spend EVEN MORE time with her, talk more with her and how she felt. Right now that she did pass away, my job, my obligations, etc seem more meaningless than ever before. I don't care. I would give the world just to hold her in my hands one more time and just to tell her that I love her.
So, I guess, there is only one advice I could give to you. At the end of your one life, when you will look back, business will mean nothing. The persons in your life and your family will mean the world. Try to spend as much time as you can with her, and know, that still, it won't be enough...
Wishing you strength,
Mandy
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Mandy
Daughter of Jean, who passed away on May '06, 9 months after diagnosis (NSCLC IV, with liver and bone metastasis)
Our spirits are eternal. Keep the chin up! |
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