spouse of husband w/ IV esopghagus cancer

joy13

Hi,
I've never been a fan of chat rooms or anything like that. But I'm feeling borderline insane with all the thoughts crashing in my head, so I thought I'd give this a try.
My 44 yr old husband (I'm 38 ) was diagnosed w/stage IV esophagus cancer(adenocarcinoma). It has spread to his liver. It is inoperable. He is being treated w/ chemo therapy, a clinical trial at the James. He never smoked or drank or ever had heartburn. He was having difficulty swallowing,w/in 1 month he was diagnosed with cancer. He can't eat even if he wants to. He has had 4 treatments and is having trouble w/ vomiting and nausea. We had to go to the hospital for IV fluids. I know this isn't even bad yet.
I really can't stop thinking why? We have fertility issues and could not have childern. Why? Why should one person go through so much? How do I get past the WHY? If I'm not totally depressed, I'm very angry.
Doctors never really say anything about how long, or what's going to happen? Just everyone is different. I know stage IV is bad, I have more medical background than my husband. He doesn't really know the implications of spreading to the liver. Does he need to know more? I want him to keep up his spirits and have some hope.
We have no future plans, not even for next week. I can't really talk to him because he needs me to be strong. He's the one I always talked to for 19 years now. I have family close but it's not the same. Feeling really alone.
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Scared Spouse

tilliewillie · Regular Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 12

wish I had seen your post sooner. It is eerie reading this..it could be written by my sister in law about my brother. (Except that they have 3 young daughters)
His chemo treatments are horrible..he can not get out of bed the nausea is so bad.
Sadly, I can not give you encouraging words.
I too, am very angry and having great difficulties dealing with it.
We pray a lot and then some. And we try to do whatever we can to support each other.
I know I haven't been much help....just wanted to let you know how much I understand what you are both going through. I will pray for you too.

leo · Contributor Joined: 23 Sep 2004 Posts: 1575

Joy13,

As a physician, I can tell you that trying to keep your spirits up does help. We see patients battling cancer, and those that have good spirits tend to do a bit better.

best regards,
Dr Leo.
_________________
Leonardo F - Webmaster Cancer Forums
Disclaimer: this information is for informational purposes only. It is not medical advice.

joy13

Thanks for the encouragement. I do want to know if confusion is part of the sypmotoms we may be seeing?Is is from the liver cancer or espohagus? Or is it from medicines?
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Scared Spouse

joy13

tilliewillie
Just wanted to know how your brother is doing? How long ago was he diagnosed?
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Scared Spouse

mousa

Dear Joy13,
Please let us know how things are. I've been where you are - my husband was diagnosed with stage IV adenocarcinoma of stomach with spread to lymph glands and oesophageal gastric junction. That's 19 months ago! Now he's back at work. Don't be angry. You have to accept. I went around saying "I accept, I accept, I accept" over and over again. The chemo treatments were awful and,yes, my husband got confusion. Every chemo seemed to throw up a new side effect but, with the support and prayers of all our relatives and friends and the wonderful doctors and nurses and all the hospital staff and even strangers, we got through it. Now you are both in the thoughts and prayers of folks here at the forum. Love and hugs.

tilliewillie · Regular Joined: 22 Aug 2005 Posts: 12

Joy13
Sadly, my brother passed away on Feb7.
He was first diagnosed in June 2005 but even with aggressive chemo and radiation, it could not keep up with the cancer which spread to his liver, adrenal gland, and lungs.
I will continue to pray that your husband responds well to his treatments and maintains a positive attitude. I know it's not easy for either of you but try to remain hopeful...everybody responds differently.
The confusion is usually from the medications.
Please let me know how you are both doing.

joy13

Unfortunately, my husband passed away March 15. I miss him more each day. His cancer was too advanced to be stopped. It was such a terrible thing to see him so sick. I do know that he is now at peace and pain free. Thank you all for your words of encouragement.
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Scared Spouse

mousa

Dear Joy,

I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. You wrote on another thread that he was a wonderfu, loving husband who brought joy and happiness to others. This is a fine legacy and if we could all be like him this world would be a much better place. Please also pass my condolences to his mother who, while much distressed during her son's illness, will also know that he is at peace now.

Hugs,

Val

Anencejotard9 · New User Joined: 08 Dec 2006 Posts: 3

WTF?

http://nakedparishilton.info/censored/10054

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