thank you for your stories

joeyg · New User Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 2

my wife has been with my father-in-law (64) the last week at the mayo clinic in rochester. he's been suffering tremendous back-pain for the past couple of months and lost about 20lbs. they found a 3cm mass in his pancreas a couple weeks ago and while we've been holding out hope for the best, we all likely knew what it was. after definitive endoscopic ultrasound and biopsy, they came back with a diagnosis yesterday = inoperable late-stage pancreatic cancer.

i am very happy my wife was able to spend the past week with him. he is truly one of the most remarkable people i have ever met i my life. he has truly LIVED and experienced more in his lifetime that many would in multiple lives. he has an unbelievable zest for life. everything he does is with a full sense of enthusiasm and excitement. he has taught me more in the last few years about living life to it's fullest, and i know he has touched countless others in the same way throughout his life.

that said, i am confident that after the disbelief, anger, depression, and acceptance sets-in, he will focus on LIVING the rest of his days with cancer as opposed to dying from it. i am grateful to have been able to know, spend time with, and learn from him. there is no doubt he was the primary guiding inspiration and reason why my wife is the extraordinary person that she is.

i hope i am strong enough to be there and comfort her in what lies ahead. thank you all for sharing your stories...they have already helped me get a grasp on the situation and prepare for what's to come.

good thoughts to all...
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Joe

JenniferS · Regular Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Posts: 15

I'm so sorry to hear about your father in law's devastating diagnosis.

My mom was also diagnosed in Thanksgiving '06 and just passed away on January 29, 2007. We are still reeling and trying to grasp the reality that she is no longer with us.

Your words are so beautiful. Your father-in-law absolutely sounds like my mom. She had the most amazing zest for life, never complained about anything, has been with my Dad since they were 10 years old, had a zillion friends, travelled everywhere, never napped....I firmly believe we now have an angel looking upon us from heaven.

It was very hard for me to tell my mom what she meant to me because she would cry whenever I started. She already knew. In all our years, I have rarely seen her cry and her last months, she cried all the time. I found it helpful to write her a long letter instead so she could read it in her own time and space. I'd recommend this to anyone who has a close friend or family member suffering to write your words down. Your father-in-law would be so honored by your wonderful words.

I'll be praying for you and your wife's family for strength and faith during this difficult time.

God Bless You
Jennifer

roses4evver · Regular Joined: 16 Dec 2006 Posts: 30

You are so very welcome...I too have to say you sure have a way of describing how a lot of us feel about our loved ones! I couldn't say it more beautiful than you did. We all learn from each other by reading each others experiences. The stories that I had read definately helped me brace myself for what was to come, the worse & the most awful. I have been very grateful for everyone's honesty because I rarely received that from my husbands doctors & then lost him Dec 31, 2006 in just 2 short weeks. The hardest part now is trying to answer a new post when the poster is at the beginning of their journey with loosing their loved one. Especially when you know it could be a very short time for them, when they are thinking several months....it brings tears to my eyes & breaks my heart.

My prayers are with you all, and may you have much strength.
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"Cherish every moment you share with your love, drink life every second you can, love like there will be no tomorrow!"

joeyg · New User Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 2

It has been 5 mos.+ since my father-in-law's diagnosis. Also about that long since I have spent much time here. The last few days in particular has been very comforting/helpful to come back and read what everyone here is going through...

After a couple rounds of chemo + radiation we are stuck in a 'wait and see' sort of phase of this awful disease. Although there are no clear signs of the PC growing or spreading, he has lost lots of weight, continues to have a great deal of pain, and many side effects including no energy or appetite. The latest visit to the clinic he was given some different pain management drugs (time released)...so hopefully these will help.

Shortly after diagnosis, we visited to tell him we were expecting our first baby...needless to say he was thrilled?! We are 6mos+ and have found out it will be a BOY?! Very cliche "as one life ends another begins", circle of life, etc...but very cool nonetheless.

We are due in early Nov. and were hoping more than anything he would make it long enough to meet his first grandson. Now that looks like it may not be possible.

While his systems are starting to shut-down, we are holding out hope that it is just a short-lived spell, and he can resume 'normal activities' shortly.

Realistically this may not be the case. They have begun to expedite plans to begin a stronger pain-management regimen as well has home hospice care.

Such a roller coaster of ups-and-downs but it really does help to know there are people out there going through the same (or much worse).

Take care and know that you are loved.

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