Mums in the hospice

brunette · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 3:43 am Post subject: Mums in the hospice

Hurrah, at last mum is going to the hospice today!!!

I went to see the place yesterday and I cried with relief. Her care at the hospital has been shocking altho its not the nurses fault that they are understaffed.

St Lukes, where she will be moving to is amazing, the staff are so caring and kind and the rooms are fantastic, the whole atmosphere is calm and quiet. Mum will be able to have visitors whenever she wants and we can even ring in the night if we are worried about her.

There is a beautiful garden with a pond where she can sit out if she is able. There is a kitchen where family and friends can help themselves to hot or cold drinks, and if we phone in advance they will provide a meal for us. I know that for the two weeks mum is staying, that she couldnt be in better safe hands.

Hopefully she will come home afterwards, but she will stay at St Lukes should her condition deteriorate. My love and best wishes to you all.

xxxx Jen.

brainman · Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 2:01 pm Post subject: Re: Mums in the hospice

Hi Jen,

I am glad your mother found a good hospice. It sounds like a wonderful place for your mother. And it sounds like you are feeling relieved about it too. I wish we had places like St Lukes around here. Both my mother and father had to go into sub-standard Nursing Homes at least for a time. Both died in the Hospital were they received better care. Interesting how things are reversed between the UK and USA in terms of quality of care. Anyhow, I am glad for you and for your mother. I continue to think and pray for you and your mother.
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michelesmith · Experienced user Joined: 28 Oct 2005 Posts: 72

Brunette,
Glad your mom finally got in. I hope she is able to also get some rest and have a little relief from all that has been going on. Use the time to rest yourself--mind and body.

I've been thinking about you and glad things are going well.
Michele
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brunette · Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 6:00 am Post subject: Re: Mums in the hospice

Hi all, went to see mum last Saturday. As I expected she is a little worse off than the week before.

Pain relief is being given at regular periods, although the doctor isnt sure if its a physical pain or imagined. Mum has moments of being lucid but this comes and goes. She is still very very tearful, this is the hardest thing to watch.

My thoughts are with everyone else in the same situation, and I send love and best wishes to you all. xxxx

vintage · Regular Joined: 12 Jun 2006 Posts: 35 Location: Minnesota

Hello Brunette~
Glad your getting the hospice care. I'm sure it is a relief that she is getting some pain management care.
My Dad was also very tearful. But he couldn't speak at all the las 2 months. So it was hard to watch him and not know how to help. I usually would sit and hold his hand and talk about memories and what a great life we had with him as our Dad. I also prayed with him alot.
Take care of yourself.

{{{{{hugs}}}}

Kevan

Dad diagoned GBM IV 11/95. Died 12/31/96. 64 yo.

brunette · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 12:18 pm Post subject: Re: Mums in the hospice

Hi all, a quick update.

Mum is now on a liquid morphine based drug, not sure of the name, not eating and asleep most of the time. We have been warned about epilepsy, but she seems ok for now.

Am going to visit her, with my kids on Sunday. I feel that we may be nearing the end but dont know if she can continue in this state for weeks?

Have cried for 3 days now, am not sleeping so have got some tablets from the doctor.

Will keep everyone posted and send my love to you all as always xxx

michelesmith · Experienced user Joined: 28 Oct 2005 Posts: 72

Brunette,
Hang in there. This stage is hard. Let your mom know you love her and that you will be ok, and your children will remember her. For my dad, that was the most important things. After that, it was easier for him to let go. Hy heart is going out to you right now. I know you are in a lot of pain and it is not easy. Know that you can survive this too. We'll be here for you through it all.
Love and prayers to you,
Michele
_________________
Michele

Kris · Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 3:23 pm Post subject: Re: Mums in the hospice

Dear Brunette,

I'm also with you in these hard days.
When I felt that my Mom was close to the end, I layed down close to her in her hospital bed and I continuously, repeatedly told her in her ears "Mom I'm so proud of you, Mom I love you so much" ... although she was irresponsive and asleep for several days, suddenly, without opening her eyes, she responded to me very silently "And if you knew how much I love you". Those were her last words to me.

Think of only the LOVE now which ties you and your Mom for an eternity.

Love,
Kris

brunette · Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject: Re: Mums in the hospice

Hello all,

its been a while since I last posted with info on mums condition.

Really there wasnt much to tell for a few weeks, mum was much the same from one day to the next. However, I think we are at the stage now that we are only expecting her to be with us for just a couple of weeks more. Her sight seems to come and go, she keeps her left eye closed most of the time.

She finds it difficult to answer simple questions, most of the time she looks straight through us. I held her hand and her grip was firm, I told her she was squeezing my hand and she said " good" with a glint in her open eye! Some of my "old mum" is still in there somewhere.

Her intake of food is good, most days she manages to eat a bowl of soup and the desert. But the periods of sleep become longer and longer as does her occurences of agitation. The medication she was on seemed not to help today, so they gave her Diazapam instead. Its so hard to watch this shell of a woman who used to be so vibrant and active. Im just living on a knife-edge waiting for " the phone call"

I am going back to see her on Sunday...Mothers Day. Oh boy, that will be a toughie. Well, thats all for now, I still keep you all in my thoughts and wish you peace and love xxxx Jen.

Kris · Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 3:08 pm Post subject: Re: Mums in the hospice

Dear Jen,

I kept you in my thoughts all during the time you haven't posted.

I know it will not comfort you, but my Mum had the same type of signs and symptoms, especially regarding the worsening eyesight and reduced ability to respond to questions and to communicate verbally.
At that stage, my Mum's arms, hands and fingers were in contraction, she just could not realize she's been tightly squeezing my hand, and once she grabbed it (and it was the same e.g. with a spoon or fork) she couldn't release it.

The most important is that your Mum has no pain. It's important that she is painless - bless God for this - mine had lots of suffering. It's also good that she eats well. Real hard time starts when they don't want any food and drink intake anymore.

Spend a great day with her on Sunday, this is not the time for the "phone-call".
I'll be with you in thoughts.

Kris

Kris · Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 9:48 am Post subject: Re: Mums in the hospice

Dear Jen,

You haven't posted for a while ... I'm worried about you and would like to know how things go with you.

Let us know if we can help you - God bless,

Kris

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