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If I could only WISH him better What is this ?

 
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Author
jenjoey
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Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 7
Location: Louisiana
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:29 am    Post subject: If I could only WISH him better Reply with quote
At night I lay in bed (imagining where exactly the PC is) with my hand draped over is side I pray just for it to go away. I feel like I love him enough to where it should just GO AWAY. I need him here with me! I know it's selfish and I know in my head it doesn't matter how much I pray or how much I want it to go away........ it won't. WOW, this is what helplessness feels like. I want this to just be some kind of mistake. I want my happily ever after and I feel robbed. Because not only do I have to live with the fact I am not going to grow old with the love of my life and sit on our rockers by the lake for years, I get to dread the end every single day until it gets here. I know some people say we are lucky.... LUCKY..... yeah that's what they say. Because we actually know there will be an end and we get to cherish evey moment and not take life for granted. That sounds great in theory and all. But it's the quiet tears at night that they don't get to see. It's the sorrow and the pain to KNOW for a FACT that the one you love the most will be gone and you WILL be alone here without them......... IT SUCKS!
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