Floods of tears do help!

Bethany · Regular Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 19 Location: Sydney

We live in sunny Sydney in a gorgeous area overlooking a National Park. An idealic [to us] healthy lifestyle with two adult children and two g/children nearby. However, no amount of love and happiness means one is immune from ill health early in life.

My husband retired last year to care for me. I had a diagnosis of breast cancer mets on my lungs at 57 years and can't really work either. Now, unbelievably my dear husband of 36 years [aged 63] has just been diagnosed with mets on his liver. We're both going through hormonal treatment with all the expenses attached. We thought we were both strong 'well adjusted' people who supported and loved each other dearly, but we are struggling to work through this one.

My husband is still going through the accepting part of his cancer. Looking on I'm feeling helpless and hopeless [but empathising completely!]. We're just existing alongside each other. Today I gave in to the buckets of tears when he was out and am feeling much better and stronger for it.

I recommend the self indulging floods of tears at times [Should I give in to these??]. This has never been my 'style'- as I am the matriarch of the family who cares for the four generations [my Mum included]- however, we'll get through this better for the experience we hope.

I hope this helped someone- it helped me just to say it [you can't hear the tears!!] This list helps me to remember there is always someone worse off than I.

Sunny hugs from Sydney
Bethany
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Bethany in sunny Sydney

brainman · Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:55 pm Post subject: Re: Floods of tears do help!

Bethany, tears ARE good for you. You have much to be sad about. I cannot even begin to imagine what you and your husband are going though!! Tears are not a "self indulgence". They are a necessary expression of how sad you really feel. In fact, I encourage you to not cry alone but cry with your husband and other trusted friends as well! Sadness is a lonely experience... you need to share how you really feel or you will break. Then what will your family do?

You and your family and in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

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