How do you cope?

mous35 · New User Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 3 Location: uk

Hi, new to this forum!

I was diagnosed with Hodgkins in April this year after having three biopsy's, two which came back as inconclusive. Eventually they diagnosed stage 3b Hodgkins. I have now had 5 treatments 6 one tomorrow of ABVD.

I physically can't face anymore. I hate it, the feelings start the morning of chemo i feel sick and really anxious. As soon as i get to the hospital the smell makes me feel even worse. Then they start by giving me a dose of steroid which has an immediate effect making me feel like i am on another planet with all my energy seeping out my feet. I am then in this state for a week.

I have got to have between 12-16 treatments and i really don't know how i will get through it. If i had a choice i wouldn't be going. Not that i want to give up just can't face feeling like this again, as i feel really good for a week between treatments.

Just wondered if anyone felt the same about treatments and how you coped. Would love to talk to someone in the same situation. I have a brilliant family but feel like they are almost to close to talk to as they get upset as well. Thanks Caire

jfkbluecircle · Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:36 am Post subject: Re: How do you cope?

Hi, Caire,
I had the exact same type of chemo for the exact same stage/type of cancer ten years ago. I felt, also, like you do about going to the clinic for tx. Friday mornings of my treatment, I would be nauseous, intolerably grouchy, nervous, etc. I actually had a panic attack I was so stressed on a Wednesday before my bi-weekly Friday trip to the doctor. After talking to the social worker he had on staff, I was given a prescription of Xanax. Month three was where I started resisting everything; I didn't want to take pills because I had read about dependence on them, didn't want to give myself the course of injections following each treatment, didn't want to sleep, didn't want to deal with chemo any more.

One of my sisters came with me (she is a family therapist [luckily?]) to my eighth treatment. She made me take a Xanax and the Ambien I had not been taking Thursday night. Friday morning she also made me take another xanax; I protested saying something about how I didn't want to become a junkie. Very tenderly, she said: "Jess, if the doctor gives you a pill take it. Worry about getting through the next two months. We'll deal with your drug problem later" [here she tapped the crease of each elbow where I still have track marks from the chemo ivs]. At my appointment, after I was hooked up, I actually fell asleep. Those five hours had never gone by so quickly.

Talk to you doctor and her/his team about what you are feeling. The saddest part for me was that I really wanted to quit something for the very first time in my life, but I knew quitting chemo was not an option and I am glad it was not. Ten years later, you will be able to say the same thing.

After getting through this, you will find you can face just about anything.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep me posted on how you are doing.
Best,
Jessica

brainman · Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:47 am Post subject: Re: How do you cope?

I echo what Jessica said: Talk to your medical team about your feelings and the impact of the chemo on you life and life style! There may be something they can do to help you get through this very difficult treatment phase. Also like Jessica said, try to look at this as only a phase in the treatment that will soon end! Your life can be restored to some degree of normality. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately your life will never be the same because you have faced death and beat it back into the hole from where it came Very Happy

I am thinking about and prayer for you!
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

mous35 · New User Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 3 Location: uk

Hi have just got back from the hospital after having chemo. It was much better as the doctor gave me a small dose of a sedative. I thought this might help me to sleep but it just relaxed me enough to stop worrying.

I now feel a bit droopy but not too bad. Hopefully they can keep giving me this and the rest of the treatments will be as good as today.

Thanks for replying it is nice to know there are people who have been through the same situation.

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