Trying to cope

DSheridan · New User Joined: 26 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

Hi all,
I'm new here, just signed up tonight. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 7 years ago, she had a mascetomy and the chemo pills and it looked like everything would be ok, she had a clean bill of health her last check up about 2 years ago. This June she was in pain in her hip and kept telling us she was scared to walk, she didn't fall and we thought perhaps it was just muscle pains until one day my brother went to visit her as usual and he walked in just as she fell and told him how deep the pain was in her hips. He immediately called an ambulance and had her transported to the hospital. Several hours later, and a ride to a second hospital, we got the news that her hip was broken, we had no idea it was Breast Cancer related at this time, after her replacement surgery, her doctor called the family into a room and told us the news, her Breast Cancer came out of the remission with a vengence and was all through her bones, her hip didn't "break", the cancer destroyed it. We were devastated, she came through the Breast Cancer and the treatments all those years like a trooper and now we find she's facing even more treatments however, after staying in the hospital for 22 days we got the news that she's stage 4 and the cancer is all through her body, they gave her radiation therapy for a few weeks and she seemed to be getting stronger until recently, she had pain in her other leg and we all feared the worst, another hip replacement. This time the cancer split her femur and the doctor told us that since June her cancer has now spread to her spine and ribs. She's been walking a little with help from yet another round of physical therapy and a walker. It's so hard watching our mom deal with this, specially since her doctors have basically told us she's on borrowed time and the best we can do is treat every day as a gift and be thankful she's still here.
To be honest it's torture watching her in pain. She's a strong woman and doesn't like to take the pain pills unless it's absolutely extreme pain. Sometimes I sit with her and have to leave the room to maintain control of my tears, I try to keep her spirits up as much as I can. Our family takes turns sitting with her every day, I'm not working right now so I sit with her as much as I can while the rest of the family works, but we do all put in time with her, even her grandchildren who live up here spend as much time as they can with her. She has a wonderful support system with our family and her friends, there's always someone lending a hand or running an errand for us if we aren't able to and she's never alone. We're all working together to try to keep her as comfortable and happy as we can her final months. And of course to let her know how deeply she is loved by us all.

Muttsmom · Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 11:19 pm Post subject: Re: Trying to cope

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's cancer coming back. This disease is beyond cruel and can rear it's ugly head anytime. We need a cure NOW.

You said your mom took the chemo "pill". Did she have chemo or only take something like Tamoxifen?

Are they giving her any bone strengthener or just did radiation? Radiation is very common for bone mets, but most I know also take something to strengthen the bones as well.

Please know that your family is in my prayers. I've been dx with Breast Cancer had my best friend was dx as well, so I've been on both sides of the patient and the care giver. Being the caregiver is an emotional roller coaster itself.

I'm sure someone who's dealing with mets will be able to give you more info.
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04

In · Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:52 pm Post subject: Re: Trying to cope

DSheridan.

I'm so sorry About your Mum. Life is so cruel sometimes, and so hard to understand.

I am Thinking of you all. Please know we are here for you.
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

DSheridan · New User Joined: 26 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

thanks for both of your replies *hugs*
yes mom had the tomoxin however it's spelled, she had to take it for 5-7 years i don't recall the exact time but it was after she lost her right breast to the cancer. She had radiation on her hip in June and is taking radiation again for another 7 days but the doctor said it's only to try to strengthen her hips in hopes not to break again. I've spoken with her nurse and her doctor aside from her so i could get a grip on the reality of what she's facing, neither seem too hopeful but the doctor won't give her a time limit, just says to us not to cancel Christmas and we're all hoping that she will be here for Christmas. It takes me a few days to get back here because i'm one of her caregivers, i was with her today and she had some more physical therapy. She's walking well and surprising all of us. Her doctor told us she'd never walk again after her recent surgery.

Muttsmom · Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 6:03 pm Post subject: Re: Trying to cope

It sounds like they didn't give her chemo when 1st dx. Tamoxifen encases the hormones in hopes of preventing left over cancer cells from being able to feed off of them and therefore mutate and because another tumor.

I know many ladies with bone mets that have been around for 5, 6, and one is going on 8 years. I sure wouldn't cancel Christmas or anything else. If she had to have to come back (which I pray no one had to deal with it ever, let a lone more then once) the bone is the best place (not that any place is good) for it to return too. Better there from ladies that are Stage IV then in the organs.

There are better drugs out there now for menopausal women that is superior to Tamoxifen.

Prayers to you both.
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04

In · Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:05 pm Post subject: Re: Trying to cope

Strength in mind and spirit goes along way- don't take for granted what the mind can do. I too was told i wouldn't walk again. I did something like 10 days after broken back- (with help of course).

Once upon a time you would have been cursing your mum's stubborness. Ranting and raveing about how willful and stubborn as a mule she was- Here is where it helps. You'll now be thanking this.
Being Stubborn and strong in mind is what will make the body take notice and obey.

Make this Christmas special. Be positive with her and make plans- this helped me alot. As i found i was looking forward to things and willing to get there.

If God forbid- anything happens. She will be there along side of you. And you will rejoyce in her life not her pasting.

Wishing you all the best- keep in contact.
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

*Administrator*

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

Smile

9 Lives and still kicking Smile

Cindy · Senior User Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 156

D...have you looked into trying to get chemo for her? I would think that her doc would at least give it a try, since she has never had it. Maybe you should try to find a doc who will try to offer her more help. This doc sounds like he's giving up. I will keep her in my prayers. Keep us posted.
_________________
Where is the cure???
www.truefacesofbreastcancer.org
www.diepbreastreconstruction.org
www.bcsisters.org/forum
www.mybreastcancerstore.com

DSheridan · New User Joined: 26 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

she did have chemo when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, this is her third doctor, her first doctor was wonderful but this one doesn't give us much when it comes to hope, she's stronger every day, i've seen her walking more and more with her walker, one thing i'm always going to remember with a smile is my mom's spunk, she has surprised many doctors through the years with all her health issues. She's got COPD, heart disease, emphazema and the bone cancer. Her COPD was "supposed" to take her many years ago but i've seen her cope through countless times with collapsed lungs, she even had 2 more children after her lungs had collapsed 13 times and she held 3 jobs at one time even with her health issues, of course now she's not working because of her health, she's on oxygen 24/7 because her COPD has become that bad in the past 2 years. One word best describes my mom to me, "Amazing". She always amazes me after a hospital stay, she never gives up and seems to fight harder every time. I did tell her that if she ever feels the fight is too much not to hold on for us because we'd rather see her at rest than fighting so hard that she has no quality of life. She smiled at me and said kid, you're stuck with me a long time, deal with it.

Muttsmom · Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 3:34 pm Post subject: Re: Trying to cope

I would ask about chemo too. The Tamoxifen she took isn't chemo. There are chemo used specifically for bone mets. You say she has "bone cancer". Does she have primary bone cancer or Breast Cancer that has come back in her bones? There is a big difference.

Sounds like your mom is a fighter and that goes a long ways.
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04

amylee27 · New User Joined: 09 Oct 2007 Posts: 7

hi dsheridan,

just wanted to say you and your mum are in my thoughts & prayers. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer last month & had to have her right breast removed. She will begin chemo & radiation this friday so our journey is just beginning, I cannot imagine what it feels like to be where you are now but your mum sounds like a very strong woman & a fighter with whatever comes her way. My mum is one hell of a strong lady and I hope in my heart that she comes through this. So again my well wishes are with you and i'd love to hear from you..as I'm very new at this and it's still all very scary & all a bit of a whirl wind.

DSheridan · New User Joined: 26 Oct 2007 Posts: 4

amylee27 sweetie I'll keep your mom and you in my thoughts and prayers too, stay strong, she's going to need it *hugs*

Mom did have chemo, it did no good, then she had tamoxin however it's spelled and after that she was in remission but it came out of remission and snuck up on us and that's when we found out in June that it became one of 2 bone cancers, her's is the incurable one, I don't remember the medical term or name of it but now it's travelled throughout her bones and she's had a broken hip and a cracked femur. The bone cancer can't be healed but her doctor did try to slow it down with radiation which didn't do alot of good since after her radiation therapy on her hips, her femur cracked and she now has a metal rod in her leg to hold her femur together. Her doctor is doing all he can to keep her as mobile as possible but he did tell us that eventually the cancer will win this battle and she won't be able to walk because of where the cancer is concentrated the most, in her hips and legs. It has made it to her spine and ribs since June.

Muttsmom · Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 9:38 pm Post subject: Re: Trying to cope

Hi,

There is no cure for breast cancer, bone cancer or most cancers. I'm still confused about her having 2 kinds of bone cancer. What do you mean the chemo didn't work. If she was in remission, then what put her there if not the chemo? Do you know what treatment (by name) she had when 1st dx?

I've been NED (No Evidence of Disease) for over 5 1/2 years, but this beast can come back anytime, but obviously I pray it doesn't. Even with over 5 1/2 years behind me since my dx and treatment, I'm not cured. I wish there was a cure!!!!!!!!!
_________________
Nancy
2/14/02 ILC 43 - 5.5 cm 9+/16 nodes
Stage IIIA er/pr+ Her2-
2/02 MRM
FECx6 radsx33
Tamoxifen - Arimidex (chemo induced menopause)
4/03 SM w/bilat. recon.
9/03 expanders removed
5/04 repair reconst. disaster
10/04 Actonel for bone/joint pain from Arimidex
NED - 5 years
3/07 Diabetes
In memory of Kim 12/1/04

Cindy · Senior User Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 156

Hi D. Keeping your mom in my prayers. I hope she is feeling better.
_________________
Where is the cure???
www.truefacesofbreastcancer.org
www.diepbreastreconstruction.org
www.bcsisters.org/forum
www.mybreastcancerstore.com

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