Cindy090305
New User
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
Location: North Carolina, USA
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 Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:49 pm Post subject: My Dad's Story |
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My father passed away on Sept. 24, 2007 after a valiant fight with liver cancer. During his illness, I searched high and low for information and support, and this was one of the best websites/support groups I found. It has taken me this long to want to be able to tell dad's story, and I hope it will help someone who may have a family member going through the same things currently.
Dad was first diagnosed in December of 2005 with a "suspicious mass" on his liver, which turned out to be HCC caused by Cirrhosis. At the time, my mom was in the end stages of Breast Cancer, so he chose not to pursue any treatment or further diagnoses in order to be her primary caregiver. Mom died 2 months later in February, 2006. After seeing what she went through with the chemo (nausea and sickness) and the radiation, he made it clear he never wanted to take this course of treatment.
Dad's noticeable symptoms started February, 2007. His stomach swelling started getting very bad, he had rapid weight loss, no appetite and his skin started itching. He also had an episode where he was both throwing up blood and passing it rectally. Dad was diagnosed with portal hypertension due to the cirrhosis. He spent 1 week in the hospital, and had the first of many gastric banding procedures done. He was told at that time he had months, not years to live. One doctor told him outright he had 9 months at the most.
Fast forward to May, 2007. Dad had another bleeding episode, and another 1 week stay in the hospital. The swelling by this time made him look 9 months pregnant. It was extremely painful. They had him on several diuretics, as well as propranalol for the bleeding. The mass on his liver had nearly doubled in size.
Dad went for outpatient preventive gastric banding procedures every 4-6 weeks. The last banding procedure he had done was in August. The doctor told him at that time that the varices had most likely moved to his stomach, and that there was really nothing further he could do with the banding to prevent the bleeds.
Dad chose at that time to call in Hospice for home visits. He still insisted on living at home by himself, but we both knew that was coming to an end due to the weakness he was starting to have. He had lost most of his muscle mass, and had to use a cane to help him walk. Dad started sleeping more and more. He could only cat nap due to being so uncomforatable from the swelling. We were waiting on a bed to open at the Hospice House when he had his final bleed. Hospice had only been visiting for 2 weeks.
Dad's death came relatively quickly, I suppose. I talked to him that morning and he was fine, but he called the afternoon of Sept 20th and told me he was throwing up blood. The hospice nurse was closer to his house than I was at the time, she called 911 when she got there. Dad was semi-coherent when I got to the hospital. He had made his wishes clear that he wanted no extreme measures taken and was ready to die. So we started the morphine and he drifted into a full coma later that night. His heart held strong till the end, and he passed early on Sept. 24th, 2007.
I won't lie and say any of his illness was easy or pleasant. Dad was a very irritable person anyway (we always joked about it), and there were some points where he was mean, angry, and just plain unpleasant. It took me a while to realize that he didn't mean to be mean to me, but he felt so bad all the time that he had no positive outlook. This was the hardest part to deal with as his daughter and primary caretaker. I felt helpless because I couldn't make him feel better.
If I have any advice for those going through this, please research as much as you can and be informed. ASK QUESTIONS! My experience is that the doctors do not want to tell you what to expect due to some of the unpleasant symptoms. You have to MAKE them tell you things, and you have to be FIRM if you belive your loved one is not getting enough pain relief or the help they need.
I still miss Dad very dearly and wish that I had him back. Even though I tried to spend as much time with him as I could, it still was not enough. Please do not wait too long to tell your loved one how much they mean to you. I wish every day that I had one more phone call with him, one more laugh, or one more moment to tell him I love him.
I hope that his story may help even one person. I remember thinking I was the only person in the world going through this with my dad. Please realize that you are not. My thought and prayers are with you and your loved ones.
Cindy |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 3388
Location: Tennessee
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:02 am Post subject: Re: My Dad's Story |
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Cindy, I cried while I read about your mother and father's death of cancer  . It sounds like the last 3 years have been devastating years for your family. Thank you for being so open and honest with us in retelling your story.
Your father received no treatment of any kind for his cancer other than palliative care? My mother opted for no treatment with her primary brain cancer as well but she did not suffer as much as your father did.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
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