My dad's passing and two questions

btung423 · New User Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 3

Hey guys,

My dad passed away the day before thanksgiving due to liver cancer. He was first diagnosed in Sept. 2007, and it grew at such a fast rate that he passed away 2 months later. My dad had Hep. A, which he contracted when he was younger due to contaminated water in China.

In August, we had just returned from a family trip to Hawaii, and one morning, my mom found my dad coughing up blood. He was immediately taken to the hosptial and put into isolation because the doctors thought that he had TB. After a week of being in isolation in the hospital and many rounds of tests, they discovered that there were blood clots that were entering his lungs. At that point, we were all at a loss as to where they were coming from. Shortly after that, my dad complained of pain in his left leg, which was swelling up. We took him to Cedar Cinai where it was discovered that he had a tumor in his liver.

We went to UCLA Medical to have an operation done to see if they would be able to cut out the cancer from his liver, but was unsuccesful due to the cirrhosis, which had made his liver too weak to continue with the operation.

A week later, my mom and my dad went to China for a liver transplant (due to the fact that his tumor was too big to be put onto the transplant list here in the United States) They were there for 40 days, and after 29 days, he had the operation. About a week later, there were complications and he went into a coma, which led to heart failure.

My question is: For those of you who have unfortunately lost a loved one, how do you keep the faith? Im a very VERY optimistic person, always looking for the good in things, and the silver lining. I found peace in the fact that he is now in a better place. Now, a little more than a month after his passing, I find myself angry, loosing faith. In the past week, two people who i know have passed away from cancer, In the past 2 years, four in total. These were all great people, kind and caring. Its hard for me to find faith anymore because I feel like too many bad things are good people.

Im sorry if some of the information on my dads cancer seems a bit off, it all happened so fast and I am still struggling to find answers. Being 19 years old and in college, while my parents were gone for 41 days in China provided me with very limited information.

I have been participting in Relay For Life the past 3 years in memory of a track and field teammate who passed away from brain cancer, and im also looking for a bigger way to contribute to the ACS, any information would be appreciated!

tmjones · New User Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 1

wow- many months since i have been here.....you have to keepy our faith-and YES it seems to dissapear...especially in the first 2-3 months.....and even now for me 11 months....the hurt never goes qaway! i would be very interested in any type of foundation to help liver cancer!
_________________
tmjones

brainman

btung423, I am very sorry about your father's death Sad

. At 19 this must feel very devastating.

A significant loss like the one you are experiencing can and often is "faith changing." Yes, you will find yourself questioning the way you used to believe and trying to find a new way of looking at life and the world and even at God. Do not try to fight this change because it can be your greatest source of strength and courage when you face other losses or when you try to help others who are going through their own losses.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/

laupw

Hi,
I just read your message. I don't know how to start this message, especially to such a very young person, who has lost a father at your stage in life.

All i can say is keep the faith; look after your mother; Keep up the good work for Cancer Charity.

I come from a Chinese background. Your experience has put everything into context. My mother lost her battle with HCC (from HCV blood contamin') at an age of 74 in May '07. She was diagnosed in Feb '07.

My thoughts are with your family,

Phil

Queensland Girl

Hello,

My Dad passed away on January 7, with my Mum already having passed away. The first days after are surreal as life all around you remains unaffected. There is anger as noboby seems to know that your Dad has died, and you feel as if the whole world should know and care.

This is the time you will treasure your family and true friends, this is the time when you will start to look at the true measure of people.

My advice is to share your grief, but not dwell on it and to show kindness and empathy to those around you. Some call this faith, others call this human kindness, either way try and make your mark on peoples lives for all the right reasons.

The more people that know us, love us and respect us will mean we will never be forgotten when it is our turn to complete our journey.

Just remember, every new day will become a little easier.

Take care,

Queensland Girl

btung423 · New User Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 3

its been awhile since i've last been here! im sorry about the late response. I found it comforting to find so much compassion and positive energy from the replies on this forum and on this topic!

Its been a little over 3 months now, I have questioned my faith, my beliefs, I have yelled at God, I have made peace with God. I have found my truly faithful friends and I have become closer with all of my family.

The pain never goes away, but coping becomes easier. I have learned to celebrate his life and to let go of my anger.

Thank you to everyone who has responded, it means so much to me, and i am also so sorry about your losses.

philip · Regular Joined: 27 Dec 2006 Posts: 11

I am very sorry for your loss.

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 41. My younger brother was 27. It was much harder on him. I can then understand how much harder it is on you at 19.

The only help I can be is to tell you beginning around two years after your loss, the pain from the loss is gradually replaced by the joy of having the opportunity of knowing them for the time you had.

I know this is of small consolation to you at this time, but it will occur.

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Liver Cancer Forum	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others