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In
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Joined: 18 Jul 2007
Posts: 1345
Location: AUSTRALIA
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 Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:10 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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OH, MY, GOD- I'm dieing- Death by Chocolate..... Anyone who can try the new Tim Tam - crush (Arnott's- Aussie biscuit- "cookie" for Jim)... WOW
Ok My weekend was fantastic, it was amazing. sleep. Hot tub to soak in, Talking about everything and anything. Felt like two years of "normal" converstaion. Holding hands and laughing like school kids- or the kind of people we once were.
We walked, and walked. Blisters to prove it. I slept- no bags. And laughed, stress relief. BUT i still missed home- I missed Hunter like crazy. I missed the computer (T) and here. I missed my own bed, and pillows- (wow what an idiot to forget my pillow) Oh, and the damn camera...  But I missed the Huntercane- the kisses before bed and cuddles. and everything i saw, i'd think he would love it. Felt some guilt- BUT didn't stop me.
I slept for 9 hours !!!!! OMG- i know amazing for me. Then the second night none.... My body is used to no sleep - so haveing so much trouble.
Got home and the first thing Hunter did was run off!- Love- 
He had a great time at my parents farm- alpaccas, and babies (alpaccas) Old 4w drive paddock basher. so Grumps (dad) and hunter went driving all day. up and down hills. over pot holes and around the dam. He loved. it.
It wasn't till bed time that night i had to hold him down for cuddle. 
My little boy is growing up.
anyway thats it for now- bed time xxxxx. night all
And damn got back here, and so many posts to reply to 
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
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In
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| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 7:11 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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Well, I thought i'd have to do CPR today on a elderly women.
She was a hair client and was looking for the bathroom. One of the beauty room's door wasn't locked and she happened to walk into the room- in the middle of a Brazillian- xxx wax ( not a person ) She was stunned to the spot. Her mouth was opening and shutting like a fish out of water. All she said was Oh, My, God. Then a sudder went through her. She went grey in the face and i thought she was about to drop. All of a sudden she about turned and ran.- well as quiick as she could
thought that would make someone smile..... 
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
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In
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| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 7:52 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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Ooooo- what a day. Have you ever Jinxed yourself by saying something- Well I jinxed myself over and over today.
First Hunter was up all night- Temp and sick, think it was teeth. (dribbling, red cheeks and a mean temper, so a wild guess-  - though he could be just taking after his Daddy) 
A Very Special friend of mine, knew i was having some troubles with Hunter- medically, but also behaviour. So this morning i recieve the "Supper Nanny- Jo Frost" book. At the time i hear this knock knock at the door. Delivery Women waiting for me to sign...Hunter sees the package and takes off up the hallway with it. All excitied.
Till I opened it. And as if he knew who this women was, said "ohhhh, Noooo". i had to laugh my head off... I've been waiting to see if the book goes "missing". What a amazing friend. And after reading a few pages (all i had time for) i loooove this person. Great book. (hunter may not think so )
We had a playdate early this morning. 2 beautiful boys. One the same age as Hunter- terriable 2's , the other 9 months. Hunter was still irritable, but played nicely, showing off all his toys and stuff. Using the 9 month old as a speed bump with his little tryke bike.
I got to snuggle the 9 Month old. Beautiful chubby little one. Hunter then took it upon himself to attack me- All of a sudden he loves me. Didn't want HIS mummy to be holding a baby. all afternoon, Hunter walked around saying- "awwwww, mummy's baby". and giving me kisses- Don't get me wrong- I took what i could get. ( do they have these things to borrow or hire out??? )
Then spent the afternoon cleaning up AFTER the play date. it always amazes me how two 2 year olds can make so much mess in a few hours. AND- they are coming back next week for dinner and play- should be fun. But also great for me some adult talk, and socialising. yayaya
Anyway Thats all for now. Night all xoxox
_________________
Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
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In
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| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 7:05 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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Friday unbeviably the longest and hardest days ever.
I had a full day booked, no lunch and the worst of it- A client had booked 3, yes 3! hours straight. I know, many people would be thinking of the money. I was thinking- oh, my, back!....And of course i really could make more with 20 people in those 3 hours. So anyway a pedicure, full body massage- which is from tip of toe to tip of head, front and back- no bit missed, and a facial.
It absoulty killed me. Then when a client didn't show around 4. I decided to grab the old, soft, limp lettuce out of the work fridge and try to make myself eat it. (what is open at that time of the day, and I can eat it in 5 min?? .... My bosses Wife- so boss. Came in and asked if I would do a client who just walked in... Seriously (when she is qualified and free to do one simple little 15min wax???- I said no. (i know- i was tough for once)- Well, then i looked at the lettuce slidding of my fork- and said yes.  Anyway. After the day finished 5.45pm. Still nothing in my stomache since Dinner the night before, I was told there was a farewell dinner in 30min.
So I fly home, throw what i had in cupboard on- that was ironed- turned out to be this funky top, that is new and never worn- never had the guts to wear, and these cool new pants. Of course too long in the leg, so had to wear massive high heal boots....well we know the name of those boots
Anyway... Splashed on some perffum, and headed back out, 5 min to spare (amazing how ready you can be when you have had a child) Well, since the dinner was on the boss.....
- Bread, wine, entree, wine, more bread, wine, main, wine, and you guessed it....wine for desert
Got home around 9 at night- totally relaxed, took two or four pain killers and crashed.... till 11. Hunter was up all night - sick- damn flu.
didn't get to sleep till around 4. And i wondered why i had a headache that day.....
Saturday- very very tired, and massive headache....I blamed the main meal- i didn't think it was cooked through Hunter was sooky, wingy and wanted his mum, So. jammie day. We were in jammies all day (pj's) Had pinic on floor, layed on lounge with donna and watched cartoons. A nice day even though hunter was so sick
Then I left it all with The hubbie hehehe, I had to babysit. so I got to chill out for a few hours, watch a movie or two .....and come back to the mess.
Sunday... I didn't wake happy. Was up all night with Hunter, was tired, still had a headache. Felt awful and cranky and a total mess in the head. Was emotional- in secret of course. Was totally torn with myself.
Lets just say ALOT happened today.....
Then finally went out and looked at the Stars..... Night All
_________________
Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
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In
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:11 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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Just a little ramble- nothing to worry about...Just needed a outlet.
It's so funny How "Cancer" can screw with your head. Not just the on- going fear, or worry. But Life in general.
Are you living life to the fullest? Are you happy with your life? Are you doing everything you've dreamed about, wished? Could things be different....
It's amazing how when you have had such a life altering thing happen to you, On the spot you make a promise to yourself, to do all of the above and more.
But as life moves on, you get back into the rut? -normalicity of life. The fear is always there..It'll always be there, depending on how things are going in and out of my body.
Then I sit here, and re-read over the above post and mentally slap myself. Self pity, whinging, moaning and groaning about something trivial- when people all around me are in such more need, deserve more.
I remember when i broke my back- When I finally got feeling back in my legs enough to slighty move them in Water. Everyone was raving how great and how amazing... I just pushed, and pushed myself, Refusing to give up. (most people I know would say i was stubborn) I was...
Holding onto the edge of the pool and cursing my dead limbs, bad day. Ken, Total quadroplegic (s) was floating by me- amazing Man. He just said if he could brush the tears he would...Then explained how, here i cry to be on crutches, while that young boy over there, wants to be walking un-aided...While he- he would give his Left nut- his words- to be sitting in my body, crying over my legs and the feeling i was having. (unbearable pins and needles- like when you have a major dead leg and have to try to walk).
Just like now... I wish, for something I don't even know. I have a moving if sore body, A husband and beautiful little boy. And right this very second. semi health. A home, food on the table. No time limit on life, no massive money concerns, no worry about findiing shelter. food or clothing for my family.... Noone dieing.... But one part of me wishes.....
Greener pasture? the other side of the river? fence- what ever metaphor you want to use.... It tears me apart sometime. More about why, than what....
Ok, total ramble- no sense, i know....
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
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jenugl
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| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 6:17 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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Hi In, everyone is entitled to let of steam and have a whinge and whine every now and then - like gas - better out then in I say
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Love to all. Jen.
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Partner of GBMIV survivor - so far.
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In
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| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:41 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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lol- got to love ya Jen.
Had an Amazing night last night- Talked to a close friend for ages. About every and anything. Was what i needed... (thanks)
House hold is sick- some sort of flu. Arn't men wimps.. I have to work, do mummy stuff and still get things cleaned and organised, while they moan and groan and die- well i tell him to hurry up. sick of hearing about it.
Had a long day of Facials today. Love doing them, i find it's relaxing myself, means i don't have to talk. Dark, soft candles, i can sit, listen to dolphins and whales yabbering. Oh, and lets not forget the trickle of rainfall and waterfalls...Got to hate that. After having Hunter, have to cross the legs , every time.
Well today, for some reason, I burst out laughing, my client was asleep. I had to fake a coughing fit- real relaxing i know. Don't ask me why or how....
good day
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
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In
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:26 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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OMG (oh, my god).
No one told me it would be this bad. They told me it would hurt the first time, then get better, IF i decide to do again..... Being a beauty therapsit- I often tell my clients this. (but holly ......crap ) 2 weeks later and I'm in itch hell.
Just so we are on the same page.... XXX wax- Brazillian OUCH!!!!
Not only am i sore and red and bloched like i have a rare case of chicken pox- BUT crap. It's itchy. Even underwear hurts. Ever been that sun burnt, you could hardly wear anything other than the swimmers you burnt in??? Well this is like this- BUT no clothes help. It's like a bad case of .... fleas? .
If i wasn't so lady like -i'd be scratching like one of those cricket guys I'm always bad mouthing, for their disgusting "ajusting scratches".
Well not only do i look like a pre-adult I have to sit on my hands. Almost feel like i could pretend to be a dog with fleas, and scratch to death.
So let me assure you, when i had a women who's partner wanted her to have it done - I had tears in my eyes for her... AND told her to bring the Partner in too, If he wanted it done, so could he.
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
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brainman
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In
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:52 am Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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hehehe- i do that for a living- lol
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
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brainman
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In
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:09 pm Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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hehehe- I do kinda look hot in dark glasses, and a suit. 
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
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In
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| Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:14 pm Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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How come when i want to find a simple answer or advice on the computer, i get a dead end? Is it because i don't ask the right question? Or because i'm so bloody computer dumb- all i know is how to post and reply
So guess thats all i need.
Anyhow, Friday worked a long day, booked solid. Then had a staf meeting about- you guessed it , money money money $$$. Finshed 2 hours later. Got home, and wow- No hunter- already bathed, feed and bottle in bed. Sound asleep.
Of course being a mum, i had to tip toe in to say goodnight. Just brush a tiny peiece of baby finge out of his eyes. Say I love him, and tip toe back out.
2 Hours later.... Hospital. Hunter woke screaming (pretty normal for us), so i never thought much of it, till i picked him up. His back was drenched in sweat, and he was struggling for breath. Wheezing, with massive fear filled eyes. looking up at me- i panicked. I rang the hospital....
The Emergancy On-call triage' heard hunter on the phone. he said "How far are you from Hospital? (5min), get him straight here, i don't care if your still in your nightie- get him here now!". (well how could you not panick???) After a throw on top and pants- (didn't want the DR to pass out) we raced in.....
Not one person, in the whole place- here being a country town- still around 24000, pop. it was eary quite. Not even a admin person on. we stood there looking like idiots. The the triage' guy came out, had a listen and look and said it was croope (croop?) a viral infection, which makes it hard for little ones to breathe and they have a amazing whooping cough. The guy said it might be a few mintues till we see a DR- Ambulance was in there.
So we sit and wait.... 30 mintues, 45 minutes... then we hear this massive ruckus- a young man (being polite here) 20 or so, drunk as a skunk, stumbbling in, swearing black and blue- (words, even I havent heard of). Two young Ladies (?? lol) were following him in. They saw us and then the man starts to groan and swear again. The girls tell him to shut up, as hunter is there, and a little sick and scared.
So this guy comes over to us, and says "it's alright little dude, I just in pain man, " then turned and sat in waiting chair.. Then all of a sudden we see. The size of a small football (the real footbal NRL) on his shoulder... then the broken collor bone sticking up through his shoulder.
Meanie me, had no sympathy. All i could think of was, great! another 2-3 hours till we see DR, beacuse he has to see the losser, who triped, while drunk"..(mean i know, BUT!)
Anyway, it kind of amused us till we saw the DR. I guess the DR's and triage' wasn't in such a hurry... he sat and moaned. The girls were trying to calm him and say it's ok- just a bump etc. hehehe. Not such a tough guy after all... Then he told us the story. He was in a fight, and his words- "i'm mean and big- but i can't fight" (do ya think? brainwave?) lol
So matt's holding hunter and talking quitely in his ear, to calm and block some of the guys swearing out. he is telling hunter will have to learn how to look after himself so he'd never get hurt. (my brother, is this weedy, thin guy, but a black belt in everything) .. Hunter pipes up- "clint" even trying to breathe....(awwww)
Anyway a few shot of steroids and 4 sleepless nights later. He is improving. might have a little roid rage after this.. (2yearold roid rage)
Or is that just a usual 2 year old?
Anyway- as you can tell by my massive ramble- no sleep last night- No exageration- as i usually do I woke to the sun. Still moving- slow, but moving- not great, but moving...
I would have posted on her all night- but my eyes were hurting at the screen. So while I'm Still awake waiting to go to work.... thought i'd ramble again
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Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
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In
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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First of all- Hunter is doing great. Alot better, now just a runny nose, and the excuses that he is "me sick, sick".. to get away with all the naughty things he has done. Got to love the little bugger.
Secondly- ( and a massive ramble on the way).....
Ok since I havent had any sleep at all the last 4 nights or so- other than a few hours every now and then. Been thinking and wondering. So, stupid me thought- lets see what comes up. I searched, for the "guy"...Ok back to the begining. But i'm not going to go into it too much......
About 10-11 years ago. Matt and i broke up. I was 18 and young and wanted to see the world 2 Girlfriends and I went away to a coastal town. We had a great time, partied, drank and danced the nights away. My best frined meet a guy- (her first real love).
Short story- I ended up being a third wheel. So my best friends boyfriend introduced his friend to me- we eneded spending some time together. Just so the other two had so time, and i wasn't sitting around bored and waiting to go home all the time.
Anyway.... We ended up having sex- (not a great or memorable) experience. One i had forgoten, or pushed to the back of my mind-
Needless to say, Last time I say him, or took my bestfriend to see her boyfriend- Which didn't last long after that night....
So going back to the start of all my post- My cancer was thought to be an adnormal cell growths, causing the cancer, was explained that.
Then ,after a long time- when i was cleared and had some problems, i got a though check up. Was told by another DR that the inital resluts from my surgery, was what was removed had traces of irritation growth (what i had always thought) but also HPV- STD.
So i was blown away- as I had only had my husband as a partner, and him- me.....Or so I had thought, and pushed away the other to the back of my mind. Soooo.........
*back to where we were.... I was on the computer looking at matt's facebook- then thought- wonder??? At the moment- i think it was the worse thing i could have though of doing. But in another way i couldn't get it out of my head.
So again... I Had great and amazing help from a friend and found this guy. After tossing and turning all night- I have lost my years and years of inital hatered, and pain. to start to doubt myself. Young silly, drunk etc etc etc... maybe not the best thing to "blame"...
so i woke up this morning and thought- just find out- no need to talk, tell, or say anything, just for me to know.
text to his mobile, asking if this was the guy, i had meet ....blah blah. It was, he knows me, remembers me, and would love to catch up
I have no idea what to do- say or not. tell or not. blame or not ?????
The more i think about it, the more i feel i do have to- for himself and the ohers- health wise. I feel sick about it. andhow and why. But also sick about myself.
I think i will set up a seperate and private Instant messenger account, so i can stay safe and private , but also more personal- but not a phone call.... what do you think???
I don't think i could blame him as such- we were both in the wrong, both stupid and i was terrorably naeive. (not to say, but also passed out- spiked)
Sorry - needed to blirt this all out.
Any ideas, suggestions???
_________________
Thinking of you Inica
*Administrator*
~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~
My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731
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brainman
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| Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:24 pm Post subject: Re: In the Day of an Inica- |
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Inica, I think it is your decision but that you should be very careful. When you were "younger" you did something out of an impulse that you now look back at with some negative feelings associated with that time in your life. Now you are older and wiser... so make a wise decision and go with it .
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Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendoglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
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