Personality change and anger

neverabandonhope · New User Joined: 30 Mar 2008 Posts: 2

Hello-

I am new to this, and trying to find some comfort in your stories and positive attitudes. I was hoping that someone could provide some guidance and/or clarity on personality changes and anger in cancer patients.

My mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage IV malignant melanoma about 5 years ago. It started in her ankle, spread to her lymph nodes and lungs, and we have just found out that she has dozens of brain metastases. She has gone through interferon for a year, which didn't work. She also went through two cycles of the interleukin-2, before we found out it was in her head. The doctors have given her little chance.

Since finding out that it was now in her head, her personality has completely changed. I understand that the change may be due to the steroids, but her anger has escalated to a frightening level. All of a sudden, she feels that her family has done nothing for her since she was diagnosed. She is always angry, and says that her family has ruined her life. It is difficult to reason with her, and she often starts saying that she is leaving the house and not coming back. She is angry towards her kids, husband, sisters, brothers, mother and father. No one can seem to get through to her, except the odd friend that comes by for a short visit. It is painful to watch, and painful to be the brunt of her anger... she is tearing her husband apart on a daily basis, saying he has done nothing for her in 40 years of marriage. You need to understand that they were always the happiest couple of the block, never fought or argued, always enjoyed eachother's company.

Has anyone else experienced such issues with anger? It's difficult to watch because the whole family is being torn apart, instead of being brought together in the last hard weeks or months.

Any insight, ideas on how to get through to her, or positive words would be greatly appreciated... We feel lost, and don't want her to pass remembering her family as the reason for her suffering.

Thank you.

brainman · Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:44 pm Post subject: Re: Personality change and anger

neverabandonhope, I am very sorry that your mother-in-law has such an advanced cancer. Anger is a very common emotion with cancer patients. It can be a positive giving the patient the will to fight the cancer but it can also be negative if it destroys relationships. Unfortunately, the last one is much too common.

Personality changes are also fairly common. This is especially true if there are tumors in the brain. It really depends where the tumors are located. Sometimes, the change is minor: A person who never expressed negative feeling will start to express them. Sometimes, the changes are very significant... it is like the person has totally changed. All of these make it hard on family and friends.

Make sure her medical team knows about these changes. Sometimes there are ways to deal with the changes that a doctor can help identify.

You and your mother-in-law are in my thoughts and prayers.
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1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
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neverabandonhope · New User Joined: 30 Mar 2008 Posts: 2

Thank you brainman. It's so difficult because we don't know how to deal with the anger. We know it's not at us directly, but there are only so many times you can be told that you ruined her life, and that she would rather never talk to any of us again.

In the last few days, she has it in her head that we are drugging her, and that the pills prescribed by the doctor (mostly steroids) are not from any doctor, but rather that we are "force feeding" her sedatives to keep quiet.

Unfortunately the doctors have been little support, and say that all this is normal. The doctor has her taking 4 doses of steroids once a day, and then zantac before every meal. In addition to 3 doses of an anti-psychotic whose name escapes me right now. It does seem like a lot... is this common for all people?

Thanks again for answering my post.

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