Sister has lung cancer - now being bullied at work

samchaney · Regular Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 39

Can't believe this is happening. Started a new job just before my sister was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. She has her 2nd go at chemotherapy this week. I have been helping look after her 9 year old son.

To top it all, I am being bullied by a Line Manager at work. Can't believe this is happening. I have a meeting with this woman next week and am sooo going to give it to her. She knows what I am going through and she has no reason to do this. Apparently she bullied someone so badly last year, they had to take 3 months off for stress.

Life is too short for this type of thing to be happening.

hopeful · Regular Joined: 27 May 2008 Posts: 30

Hi Sam

I'm new to this site, but I have been reading your posts for the last couple of weeks and your honesty and sensitivity have been very helpful to me as I work through my emotions dealing with my father's diagnosis.

I'm still coming up to speed on this horrible disease that our loved ones share, so I can't offer any words of advice on that front. However, with regard to work I suggest that you just take a deep breath and sleep on it before giving it to your manager. Haven't a clue what field you are in, but if possible get as much documented in e-mail. If this person harrasses you in e-mail, save them. Print them out and take them home so that you have them. Chances are you won't have to use them at all. Otherwise, rise above it, be professional. Most importantly, do good work when you are at work. This person can't harrass you if you don't give him/her anything to pick on...they will get bored and move on. People like that always do. Life is too short to let work stress you out right now.

Again, thanks for your posts. They have really helped me.

helensgirl

Sam,
You are a good brother, and your devotion to your sister's care touches me...but please don't let something as trivial as a feelingless manager get you down. My advise would be that you look into Family Medical Leave, for when you think that you'll need to be out of work for your sis. No one can touch you when you're on FMLA...It's law...You can get it on a intermittent basis, or you can take up to 12 weeks on an ongoing basis, for a sick family member. Anyways, take care and God bless. Kim in NC
_________________
...keeping the faith in n.c.
Helen, my wonderful mom, diagnosed May, 07
fought-stage 4 NSCLC, (adenocarcinoma)
earned her place in Heaven, Dec. 14th, 07

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 789 Location: UK

Hi, Sam. Is your meeting with your Line Manager to discuss what is happening? If it is, make sure that the company's human resources department are involved or that there is another person present as a witness. If it is not, be very careful about becoming confrontational.

You really don't need trouble at this stage. As suggested, make sure you keep a clear record of her actions, set down clearly on paper your various points about how she handles you, and put the ball into her court by asking her why she says/does these things. Don't get angry or defensive. Keep cool. Keep asking.

Also, if there is a human resources department, ask to see someone and discuss with them what is happening at work and how your sister's situation affects you. You may find that there is a support system there that you haven't tapped into yet.

caligirl · Regular Joined: 07 Apr 2008 Posts: 37

I don't mean to be immature or flame your anger - but that makes me SICK that ANYONE would be like that. Just protect yourself - you are not responsible for anyone else's behavior. The best way to fight it is to not let her get to you......don't give her power over your emotions......She's not worth it!!!!

	Cancer Forums Forum Index -> Lung Cancer Forum	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

A website for discussions about any type of cancer, including lung cancer, breast cancer, mesothelioma, prostate cancer, laryngeal cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, multiple myeloma and others