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RJK
New User
Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 10:14 pm Post subject: VERY DIFFICULT |
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 I have been reading many of the post on this site and all of the stories are very different. My Step-father was diagnosed with liver cancer(final stage) secondary issues include scororisis of the liver and Hep C. It has been about 3months and he seems to be getting worse very quickly. He has loss a lot of weight, sleeps often and eats very little. He has just been admitted to the hospital as he feet are very swollen as well is his belly. I feel very sad for my mother because she seems to be in denial about his condition. I am trying very hard to be supportive of her but I don't know what to do to help her become more prepared. She has been providing care at home for him and seems to think that his detorating condition is due to the chemo meds and blood thinner meds. His hands are very red and the doctor says this is due to the liver disease. This is very sad and I am just not sure how much longer he has and how to get my mom to accept hospice and prepare for death before this all really hits her hard. |
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pbj11
Site Admin
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 1301
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: VERY DIFFICULT |
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Hi,
I'm sorry to hear this about your Step-father. As a wife, I well understand what your Mom is doing. On some mental level she may be aware of all the signs of what is happening, but cannot think beyond the moment. I went through the same thing. It's a little denial and a little hope, even though you know the ending isn't going to be happy.
I don't know if that makes sense to you, but let her do things the way she and your Step-father want to do them. Don't override her own coping mechanisms. If it takes until he passes for her to realize that it's over, then so be it.
You're a good daughter for being concerned. I hope things go well for your Mom and Step-Father.
Good luck,
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 |
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RJK
New User
Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:16 pm Post subject: Re: VERY DIFFICULT |
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| Thanks for the reply it is helpful. I just found out today that his current docs have not been treating his case as they should. They have had him taking blood thinner medicine and high blood pressure medcine which we had concerns about, he now has a new doctor who has said his blood is now to thin and he never should have been taking these two medications concurrent. Also with his belly being so big he questioned why his previous doctor never suggested that his liver be drained with all the fluid build up. this just makes me really mad b/c I feel like he has had to suffer more than necessary b/c of nonchalant physicans who did not give him the best care so that he still has the best quality of life until its his time. I feel like they just stole some moments from us. his new doctor seems much more concerned and experienced and able to provide the best possible care for such an advanced case. This is more difficult than I ever imagined. Please keep us in your prayers and all replies would be helpful. |
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pbj11
Site Admin
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 1301
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:35 pm Post subject: Re: VERY DIFFICULT |
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Unbelievable is the nicest thing I can say about the care given your step-father. My father also had hep-c from a bad blood transfusion, that went to cirrhosis, finally to liver cancer. He couldn't even take aspirin products for pain or anything that could create a bleeding situation. For these docs to have your SF on blood thinners is criminal.
I'm so sorry to hear this news and hope the new docs can do the right thing and give him more time.
God bless,
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 |
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idobelieveinfairies
Experienced user
Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 58
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:10 am Post subject: Re: VERY DIFFICULT |
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| I read your post the other day and started to reply about the blood thinner. I did not cause I am not a doctor and thougth everyones case may be different. My brother has liver cancer, you can see my other post. The hospice nurse pays careful attention to his clotting factors (blood draws once and twice a week). They have told him to be very careful about any injury that may cause him to bleed. Hospice explained to us that the liver makes clotting factors that stops a person from bleeding. With his liver not functioning properly there are not any or many clotting factors. His are ok for the moment. I also can't believe they had him on blood thinners unless he had other medical problems like heart dease. As far as draining his stomach I have read that some people get great relief, some people says it hurts like hell and some people get instant relief, for some people it causes other problems and made the situation worse. My brother has not had to have his drained, he said after they explained the porcedure to him he changed his mind. His liver biopsy was extremely painful but he was told it would not be. Sorry I did not speak up the other day. Hospice has helped me to understand alot about what is going on and more importantly pain control for my brother. Is hospice helping your step-father? Bringing in hospice doesn't mean the end is really really near sometimes it means they can teach you lots of things that will be benificial along the way.I wish you well. |
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RJK
New User
Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:31 pm Post subject: Update on very difficult Post |
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 Thank You everyone who read or replied to my post unfournately my stepfather passed on June 24th 2008 at 11:27am. This all happened so quickly,only two months after he was diagnosed. I want to tell eveyone on here to spend as much time with your loved one as possible. Liver Cancer is very unforgiving and my stepfather suffered in the last few months of his life partly because of the poor care by his doctors. Please ask alot of questions and do all you can to assure that your loved one is getting the best possible treatment. My stepfather was unable to even sleep comfortably he was in so much pain. As i said his doctors had him on blood thinners, high blood pressure pills and chemo pills On June 22nd he told us he was just tired, he just wanted to rest. He asked to go the hospital and when he got there they could'nt even get blood from his finger because of the overdose of blood thinning medication.The ER doctors could not understand why he was on the thinners and HBP pills. MY mom took him twice a week for two months to get blood drawn and they never even once seemed alarmed about anything. When his blood pressure went up my mom asked if he should be admitted and they said his pressure was not high enough. When my mom finally took him the ER doctors were confused about why she waited so late. When he passed away my mom felt like she failed. Now she has questions about how doctors could be so careless,so incompentent. In his final moments of life after he was taken off life support she was unable to be at his bed side b/c she was so distraught as was his brothers and sisters. Even some of the ER doctors were affected b/c they were distrubed by the poor care he had receieved. When he took his last breath myself and my two sons 10 and twelve prayed and held his hands. He is resting now,so please cherish the moments you and make certain your loved one is getting the best care. God Bless! |
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brainman
Chief Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4291
Location: Tennessee
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idobelieveinfairies
Experienced user
Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 58
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:42 am Post subject: Re: VERY DIFFICULT |
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| I am sorry. |
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ksplat
Super Moderator
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 563
Location: Brisbane, Australia
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 3:40 am Post subject: Re: VERY DIFFICULT |
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I wanted to extend my sympathies to your family on the passing of your Mother's Husband & your Step Father.
I am so sorry he was not given better care & attention during the latter stages of his life.
Kind Regards,
Angela
_________________
Brother diagnosed with GBMIV Feb 07
Treatment: Radiotherapy, Temodal, Gliadel Wafers, Dexamethasone, Keppra, Dilantin, Clexane
Went to our Heavenly Father after a 19mth battle,, 47 years young.
23 Sep 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=19227
"Without Faith We Have Nothing" |
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