A very worried newbie

manikki · New User Joined: 01 Aug 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Maine

Hello. I am new here. My name is Nikki, I live in Maine, and yesterday my 81 year old mother, who lives in Calif. called me and said she probably has colon cancer !! She had a Colonoscopy yesterday morning, after being anemic and the dr finding blood in her stool. The dr who did the colonoscopy said she has a tumor and it "looks like cancer". He removed a piece for biopsy, and she has an appt on Monday with a surgeon to discuss her options. She of course is very scared. First of all, I think the dr. should NOT have said "it looks like cancer" until he knew for sure. Second, her dr's NEVER suggested she have a routine colonoscopy before this. She has been going to the same dr's for years and years ( Kaiser), and she never had one before. She also told me that she has lost 25 pounds recently, so I am scared. I scared myself even more by reading things online; but it seems that weight loss occurs in LATER stages of colon cancer......so it does not sound very good. I found this forum online last night as a way to reach out to people who have been through this before. I am waiting to tell my children ( who are all grown) that their grandmother has colon cancer until we know FOR SURE. I am just so angry with her dr's right now!!!! My dr. started "bugging" me to get a colonoscopy when I was 48 years old, and I finally did 4 years later !!! They found pre cancer cells in polyps they removed; then this past spring I had another and there were a few very small polyps, all clear. WHY or WHY do dr's not push this test MORE !!!

Thank You for letting me vent my frustration

Nikki

ksplat · Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:55 pm Post subject: A very worried newbie

Hello Nikki

Welcome to the forum. So sorry you had to seek us out with your Mother being unwell. We are a great community of support & comfort & you can definitely come here any time to VENT.
I don't know why your Mother's Dr hasn't requested a colonoscopy before? Perhaps you need to ask this question of the Dr? Do you think it will benefit you if you could find the answer to this question? Although I can understand & empathise with your frustration at this, I feel you need to direct your energies now to supporting your Mother.
If distance is not a problem, perhaps you could accompany your Mother on her appt on Monday, if not, does she have a family member close by who could accompany her? I'm sure there will be questions to ask about her treatment plan? You should become involved in this if possible, perhaps be an advocate for your Mother?
I will be thinking of your Mother on Monday & will keep her in my prayers. I look forward to receiving a more positive reply / update soon.
Cheers, Angie.
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manikki · New User Joined: 01 Aug 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Maine

Thank You Angie, but as I said in my original post, I am in Maine and my mother is in California, so no, I cannot be there for her on Monday. This is part of my frustration. I have a half sister who lives with my mother, and will be there for her though. I have no other brother's or sisters, and my mother's siblings have all passed away, so she only has me and my half sister. I was only venting my frustration at her doctor, as I felt safe here doing so. I cannot vent to my mother now, can I?
And I can't call up my mother's doctor, as he would not discuss my mother with me anyway. I am a little bit touchy at the moment, and want to be strong for my mother, but if I can't let loose here, then I will not post anymore. Sorry.

Nikki

brainman · Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 5:56 pm Post subject: Re: A very worried newbie

Nikki, I am very sorry about your mother's health concerns. I do hope that tomorrow she finds out that it is not cancer. It must be terribly frustrating to be so far from your mother at times like these.

I think you may have misunderstood Angie... this IS a safe place for you to vent your anger. Certainly, you cannot vent to your mother and due to the distance probably not even to her medical team. You are more than welcome to vent to us. You might find that a lot of us vent from time to time.

You and your mother and in my thoughts and prayers.
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