My Mum in Law, me having to leave children, need advise

dalnikki · New User Joined: 09 Sep 2008 Posts: 4

Hi people,

My story is slightly different, Myra is my Mother-in-law, Mother to Darren my Partner, I have two children, I'm 28, Myra is 67, Darren is 42 and my kids are 9 + 10, We also have a daughter; Leanne with learning difficulties of 19, who lives with Myra perminently.

First of all they thought she had a Stroke, but She has been Diagnosed with Lung Cancer which has travelled to the Brain (no proper diagnoses but the doctors are sure its cancer, just not which type)

She is due to have Radiotherapy (whole head) and Chemo.. From what i've read, I know its not pretty. But we are moving in with her and leaving the Children with my Mum, which is quite a distance away from Myra's..

I know we're in it for the long haul, but I just want to know what to expect
Any tips on how to plan, or whether there is help out there because I'm going to have to split myself in two... My kids are well savvy and they knew something was wrong anyways, so I told them the truth......

I'm hurting, your stories are inspirational and I cry whilst reading them often, I can't believe some of the stuff you peeps have been going through
and yet I know I am going to experience this.

Myra is a War child, she soldiers on, but knowing what she knows now, I really don't want to do this but I know I have to and I have hope that she will be able to keep her dignity throughout.......

Any advise on how and what to expect, organisation tips and coping with two homes both financially and emotionally????????????

Please help. x

Nikki x

p.s she has had CT brain scan with and without contrast
Chest X-ray
They are doing CT biopsy next week
They have told us to apply for benefits on "special rules"
I dont know what that means
She is going to have stomach Xray on thursday and
appointment with the Multidisciplinery team on friday..

Anyone knows what all this means let me know too xx

onecoyote · Experienced user Joined: 15 Jul 2008 Posts: 66

Hi Nikki,
I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. While I can not help you with what to expect, there are many well "seasoned" caregivers on this forum that will give you the lowdown. I just wanted to say that I admire you for taking on the caregiver job as a daughter-in-law. It takes great fortitude and sacrifice. Bravo
Take care,
Onecoyote
_________________
Husband Danny, age 65,
diagnosed June 6, 2008,
downstaged to 2A squamous cell NSCLC.
Pneumonectomy performed on Sept. 4, 2008.

"Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!"
Eleanor Roosevelt

dalnikki · New User Joined: 09 Sep 2008 Posts: 4

Thanks for your reply..

This site is amazing. Lots of informative stuff.. I know I'm going to struggle, but it'll be worth it if I can make her life happier through this... even if I am just hanging around or mopping up the nasty stuff...

She's worth it.

xx

simplyklb

Hi Nikki,
I have been on this road for four months with both of my parents. I will not lie but it is a road full of uncertainty.

My dad has small cell lung cancer and my mom has non small cell lung cancer. I have seen my dad go thru 10 radiation treatments and three rounds of chemo. His chemo treatment had to stop due to side effects. He has a CT scan on Tues. to see where we are at with the cancer. My mom has had four rounds of chemo with little change in her cancer. We will be seeking a new plan with the oncologist.

I hate cancer... I have said it many times over the past four months. Cancer creeps into every part of your life whether you are the patient or caregiver.

Kristi
_________________
Dad - Andy, 70, diagnosed with SCLC in May 2008
2/20/38 - 10/15/08 Fly high, Dad!
Mom - Jackie, 67, diagnosed with NSCLC in May 2008

dalnikki · New User Joined: 09 Sep 2008 Posts: 4

Thats really awful,

I hope you Mom and Dad get better, Its hard isn't it.. We haven't even had our treatment yet.. I recon its not going to be long to be honest, she keeps losing her balance and stuff and she can't talk sometimes...

I know I should have faith, but I keep getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach everytime I see her wobble, or forget her words or bump into something....

Hope everythings ok, and I hope you're ok too xx

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