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goldenpony
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Joined: 29 Aug 2008
Posts: 4
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 Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject: Needing help or information |
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My best friends partner of 30 years has PC. Unfortunately she has very limited understanding of what's going on. This is all I know. In Feb. 08 her partner 64/m had to have a stint put in and they found the PC. He had the whipple the same week. He refused chemo and lived the last 6 months in denial. He was hospitalized last week unable to take some trial drug, severly jaundiced, and had to undergo another surgery to remove a tumor creating a bile obstruction. She thinks he won't last the weekend due to how he looks. He lost about 80 lbs and has started to swell in his joints. Unfortunately they aren't married and she has to rely on his daughters info. My friend is very simple minded and not able to understand all of this. He's been in the hospital 8 days now and on heavy morphine, ate a little last tuesday but goes in and out of lucidness.
Does this sound like the last stages? I talked to him on the phone and he believes he believes he's not dying yet. I want to be there for her but as cold as this might sound I have been going through breast cancer myself and I can't get away from work to be there for them so I want to try and time it for when she needs me most (we live in different states). Can anyone tell me what might indicate that I need to be getting there soon. I will only have about 5 days so I really want to do my best.
Thanks in advance for any help you can give me. She has nobody to be there for her but me so I appreciate all your help.
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Dx 6/07 Stage 3c - t4 Infiltrating ductal Carcinoma with a 13x12cm tumor er+ pr+ her2 positive 2+
4 mths weekly FEC chemo (cytoxan, ellence, 5-fu) 2xs a day dexamethosone + Neulasta next day. Then 12 weeks of Taxol prior to double masto 1/08 w/o recon. 6 of 15 pos. nodes, 33 rounds of rads |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 5617
Location: Tennessee
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jessica026
Regular
Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 12:46 pm Post subject: Re: Needing help or information |
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i know when mom was in hospice they had a great book with info on the last stages for us...they included : not eating, not drinking (can mean days left), breathing patterns change, and they can even have a last burst of energy too.
mom got very "chesty", her breathing was very shallow, and she didnt eat for a little over a week before she passed |
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se7en
Regular
Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Posts: 26
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:29 pm Post subject: Re: Needing help or information |
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Sorry Goldenpony. I have to agree with both of the other replies. It does sound like it'll be soon. Along with the sudden bursts of energy. Those are usually very surprising.
If you think you need to be there, get there.
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I miss my mom. |
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goldenpony
New User
Joined: 29 Aug 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject: Re: Needing help or information |
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Thanks to all that replied. I wanted to post an update. My friends partner was sent home and put on hospice last friday. Yesterday he was readmitted to the hospital and has lapsed into a coma. They have removed all life support and kept him only on the pain killers. The doctors assured us that he is comfortable and will pass soon. He is such a strong willed person that I think he is just fighting letting go. I can only pray his passing will be peaceful. My friend is finally accepting that the end is near. She has been in denial the whole time and has finally had to come to terms with the fact that he needs to let go, so maybe she can help him by letting him know it's ok to leave her and that she will be ok.
I've seen several people pass from cancers and this has to be by far the worst due to the severity and quickness of its spreading (although that might be a blessing). I hope they find a cure someday soon.....there's been too many lost to this disease already!
_________________
Dx 6/07 Stage 3c - t4 Infiltrating ductal Carcinoma with a 13x12cm tumor er+ pr+ her2 positive 2+
4 mths weekly FEC chemo (cytoxan, ellence, 5-fu) 2xs a day dexamethosone + Neulasta next day. Then 12 weeks of Taxol prior to double masto 1/08 w/o recon. 6 of 15 pos. nodes, 33 rounds of rads |
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goldenpony
New User
Joined: 29 Aug 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:11 pm Post subject: Final Posting on my friend |
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My friend lost his battle 4am sept. 11, 2008. My best friend who was with him over 30 years was blessed the evening before his death when Joe came out of his coma for a very short time and was able to hear Donna tell him she loved him and that it was ok to let go. He lipped the words I love you to her and quietly slipped back to sleep and into the deep coma that he wouldn't this time awaken from. He was creamated and his ashes are spread at the ranch where we and our horses spent most of our young and present lives at....he was finally at peace. It was a sad ending to a beautiful life but we are all thankful he was comfortable and passed quietly......he will be missed by all that loved him! 
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Dx 6/07 Stage 3c - t4 Infiltrating ductal Carcinoma with a 13x12cm tumor er+ pr+ her2 positive 2+
4 mths weekly FEC chemo (cytoxan, ellence, 5-fu) 2xs a day dexamethosone + Neulasta next day. Then 12 weeks of Taxol prior to double masto 1/08 w/o recon. 6 of 15 pos. nodes, 33 rounds of rads |
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LOVE4MOMMA
Regular
Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Posts: 46
Location: Kentucky
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:21 am Post subject: Re: Needing help or information |
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I will keep you and this family in my thoughts and prayers.
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Crystal
I love my momma!!
http://www.carepages.com/carepages/Cynthia |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 5617
Location: Tennessee
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helensfriend
Regular
Joined: 26 Aug 2008
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: Re: Needing help or information |
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| I am so sorry to hear this news. You have been a good friend to them, and you can take comfort in that for all time. |
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