Cancer like a bullet has no name.............

grammystish · New User Joined: 28 Sep 2008 Posts: 8

I don't even know where to begin, my name is Patti and my grammy who is 83 was diagnosed saturday with cancer of the pancreas, spread to her peritoneal lining, tumors in her stomach and there is a spot on her lung.... she went in the hospital for dizzy "vertiago" symptoms and they started digging and testing. Found the spot on her lung checking her respiratory and it has been roller coaster whirl wind since then. She is in Maine, my mom is in Maryland and I am in Arkansas. I saw her and my grandfather in August and she having dizzy spells, turns out she has been having several mini strokes and they still don't know what is causing those and now it is not a concern or topic of conversation anymore.

My heart is breaking.................I know I am suppose to be lucky to have my grammy, grampy and my mom at the age of 43....but I am not feeling very lucky. She is the one who has always done the right thing. Never smoked or drank or said an unkind word to anyone. Grampy has smoked since he was 14, he is 83, quit 10 years ago and is in very poor health, and he is an alcoholic.

I lost my dad to secondary liver cancer Oct 2007, my grandfather on my dad's side to prostate cancer Feb 2005, my grandmother on my dad's side is breast cancer survivor 15 years, she is 84. My sister is battling cervical cancer.

My husband suffers with sever bipolar and schzophrenia paranoia and ADHD and OCD.

I said all of this to say, I feel like I am loosiing my mind.............all I keep thinking is not grammy!!!! I have to keep my feelings and emotions in check so often I feel like I am about to explode some times. I don't know what to do for grammy. I don't want to be a mess when I call her. I talked to her yesterday and the conversation was going to good and then she said thank you my tish for calling me I can always count on my tish. I broke down..........I don't want to break down when I talk to her.

Any pointers or suggestions or thoughts or ideas.............how does on put the thoughts out long enough to concentrate to drive, to work and to act like all will be well even though its not, does it get easier. I don't know where we go from here. Grammy says she will not accept treatment, she is tired and sick and tired of being tired. I don' want to be the sap that calls and brings her down....... Sad

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Grammy's Little Tish

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 790 Location: UK

Hi, Patti - what a catalogue! I am so sorry that yet another loved one is about to join it. There is very little I can suggest - you have so much to cope with already. Constantly letting your grammy know how much you love her is one thing you can do.

Breaking into tears is something I do quite easily, and the only suggestion I cam make is that if you feel it coming on, take several slow very deep breaths, allowing your body to adjust itself again.

Do keep talking to us - we are good listeners.

se7en

Great listeners in fact.

You'll find various avenues to release your feelings. This board has helped me.
Train your mind and focus on the immediate and enjoy the time you have.
I wouldn't say it gets easier.
Things change and you adapt.

Reassure your family that the hospital staff is compitent and they know what the correct course of action is. Absorb your family's concerns and realy them to the medical staff.
Be a squeeky wheel.

Focus
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I miss my mom.

Cparkinson · New User Joined: 08 Oct 2008 Posts: 1

hello all,
I want to cry listening to your story, but words are better-----my heart goes out to you at this time in your life!!! I am grateful to have found this group as well, my brother in law has had Leukemia for 3 years now. I lost another one to lung cancer in 2002, so my sisters have sure had a lot of stress and heartache too.

Now I am worried about my sister, the one whose hubby is sick; she has been having min-strokes this year. We still do not know if it is a type of heart condition or dare we think it----cancer.

Know that we are all dealing with it the best we can and I get that you need people to listen and be there for you. I extend my sympathy and what strength words can give you, and hope that you get lots of hugs and love at home too!

se7en

Patti

I read most posts a couple times.
Each time I get something different from them.

Grammy's still here with you.
before you're with her,
...after you're with her,
break down.
let it out.

We all know.

She needs your strength
...she needs your thanks

Stay positive
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I miss my mom.

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