Blood Clotting - Final Chemo Option with High Risks

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

Doesn't matter...

wannaknow · Senior User Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 145

SS:
Sorry to hear you have rec'vd more upsetting & disappointing news.

Blood Clotting - no direct experience with it.
My Mom did have a TIA (mini stroke(s)) in Oct '08 as a result of low blood counts (and compromised circulatory system history) from Chemo. They put her on Plavix + add'l baby aspirin to thin / adjust her blood flow.

How Long - wow, I'm looking for that answer too without any chance of finding it. No way to estimate or predict with any certainty. Even my Mom is asking me "when" these days as she is ready "to go".

Hopefully Hospice will provide the support & comfort - for your Mom, You and family members.

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

Doesn't matter...

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

Doesn't matter...

Hopefullness

My mom started out with a blood clot in her lung...she would lose breath just by walkin 7 ft to the bathroom....a scan revealed the clot and 2 others we never knew about......
a few weeks later she had one in her leg.........
a few weeks after that, one that took up the whole length of her thigh.......
less than a month later she had a massive stroke that effected 2/3 of the right side of her brain.....
about 3 weeks later she passed away

my father saw that she was having mini strokes before the massive one (hind sight is 20/20).....she fell 3 days before but it was put off on blood pressure

the chemo did in fact buy us time......but it also let to the massive stroke

if the clots are starting now, i would venture to say that they wont stop....my mom still remained on chemo until the stroke, so i do understand how your mom feels.....even if it buys her 1 more day, the chemo is worth it

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

Doesn't matter...

Hopefullness

I THINK what you need to do is stop and see that this is HER life.....yes it impacts you, but you are not the one thats going to suffer the same fate as her......would be all the same if she were to cheap to continue the chemo, cause we all see that chemo will buy you a little more time
MAYBE thats good advice for anyone who is a caregiver or has a huge part in the patients life, this isnt your life and you couldnt possibly understand how and what they really feel

if it makes you feel better, my mom was on coumadin and a pretty potent belly shot that was also a blood thinner.....neither stopped her from clotting nor did it stop the clot from breaking off......PERHAPS not taking the blood thinner is your moms 1/2 hearted attempt to give up?....i dont know her nor the kind of person she is....have a heart to heart with her and truly listen to HER feelings and dont let yours dictate how she should feel

and to be honest, they couldnt give my mom the shot they would give a regular person who has had a stroke (i would be way off but TPC? shot) cause it would cause her to bleed internally at the tumors.....basically just a really powerful blood thinner

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

I'm allowed to be scared.

You should search "Caregivers Stress" AND "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"

Everyone is different...

Hopefullness

starseed i post that in all honestly with the deepest sincerity......im fresh out of the situation, i can reflect back and give you the "if i would have known then" version of my scenario

all you really can do is support them and their decision, its what they think is best for them.....and really thats all that counts

i dont know if the OC told you that blood clotting is the nature of PC and chemo only elevates those odds.....so even if she were to stop chemo, her chances of clotting are still good

i wont tell you i hope things turn out for the best....but i will tell you i hope you live everyday to make her happy cause only then will you get through this with no regrets and nothing but good feelings and memories.....

Hopefullness

[quote="starseed"]I'm allowed to be scared.

You should search "Caregivers Stress" AND "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"

Everyone is different...[/quote]

i think more people are scared, hurt, worried, stressed and just overall depressed about this situation as caregivers than people who just "get over it" or who can just go about thier lives

i cant tell you enough that i know and understand....i buried mom a week ago tomorrow and i have walked around in a fog and feel emotionless since.....i guess i just want you to see that this is her time, and quiet honestly, the best time considering everything.....you know its not going to get better, so why make it worse.......would it really matter if she passed cause of a clot or the cancer....so long as she was happy in the end??......dont make her worry about you and your feelings, she has enough of her own

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

Doesn't matter...

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

Doesn't matter...

TruthSeeker · Regular Joined: 01 Apr 2009 Posts: 12 Location: Canada

Starseed,

I have read your posts and am so sorry for what your Mom, and you, are going through. I completely understand your frustration as I had a lot of my own when going through my mother's recent ordeal which lasted a pretty short time all things considered. I also understand how family dynamics and past history can creep into this situation and make the going even more challenging.

If I can offer one piece of advice it is this, please take a deep breath, and step away from this in some fashion. You need to let go a bit and accept that a lot of the decisions are still your Mom's to make, as long as she is capable. You are doing a wonderful thing in being there for your Mom. It's a really tough job, and I can see that you are doing the best that you can but whatever happens in your Mom's situation, is what is going to happen as simple as that sounds. The fact that your Mom has struggled for so long and is still willing to fight is really amazing. I hope she is able to stabilize again and have more good days.

We can't be everything as caregivers to our loved ones, and shouldn't be. Part of the strength patients need to fight and deal with their disease comes from feeling that they have some control and say so over what happens to them. It's a very tough thing to watch your loved one go through something like this, knowing that there are some things you can't do anything about. It sounds like your Mom still wants to be very much in the driver's seat, so let her. It's her life. Take care of yourself but also give yourself the permission to take a step back. I wish you peace and strength.
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MEC - 1926-2009 - Your rest is well-deserved ...

starseed · Experienced user Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 51

Doesn't matter...

TruthSeeker · Regular Joined: 01 Apr 2009 Posts: 12 Location: Canada

Regardless of what your Mom's mental state is, your anger can't be helping the situation and sounds to me like you are very angry at her and this situation. Does your Mom have a medical power of attorney? If so, they should be involved at this stage and overseeing the decision-making process as to what treatment she is getting.
_________________
MEC - 1926-2009 - Your rest is well-deserved ...

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