Just Diagnosed

KimberlyAnne · New User Joined: 03 Jun 2009 Posts: 1

My 53 year old father was just diagnosed with pan. cancer a few weeks ago. He was originally scheduled to go in for surgery immediately following but they realized in prep that it was too far along. He was given 9mo-1yr. He's a strong man and although he's been in a lot of pain, he acts as though nothing is out of the ordinary. It's so hard to see this all as real with those circumstances. I can't even imagine what one year from right now will bring. Even though me and my brother are grown now, he wants us all to take a trip to Disney next month. As wonderful as this trip will be, it's definitely a goodbye and I can't get past that. Has anyone else went through this, especially with their loved one acting so nonchalant. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with the fact that he is doing okay but I'm scared he's going to eventually slip into a deep depression from not opening up at all.

jessica28 · New User Joined: 31 May 2009 Posts: 3

yes my mom was like that too..i think it is probably ALOT to digest for them, but its better to act like that than to get a diagnosis and just die on the inside.
I mean how crazy would it be for someone to say to you "i'm sorry but i am giving you 9 months to live right now"..I just cant imagine ya know?

we started with the 9mnths to a year and then it went to 6 months and then it went to weeks..she lived for 6 months after her diagnosis.
I say take the trip to disney and take it soon..you cannot even imagine how fast this thing moves and every second counts, everyday is a blessing.
sorry to sound so grimm but this disease is a beast Sad

Adagio7780 · Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:48 pm Post subject: Re: Just Diagnosed

KimberlyAnne, I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. I was diagnosed right around the first of 2009 and I am 54 and otherwise very healthy. My oncologist and his team are perfect for me. They do not sugar-coat what is coming but at the same time let me know that it is possible for me to live more than a few months. My pancreatic tumor already abuts the splenic artery and encompasses the splenic vein but its size is holding pretty steady. Good luck and let us know how you both are getting along.
_________________
Man tracht, Got lacht (Man plans, God laughs)

ethan20 · Regular Joined: 12 Jan 2009 Posts: 25

Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I just recently went through this with my dad. He was diagnosed Dec 08 and just passed this April 28th. I would not hesitate to do anything you want to do right now. If your dad is up to it you should try. My father tolerated chemo very well for the first couple months. I really thought that this wasn't as bad as everything I heard. He had a tumor in the head of pancreas with mets to liver. He was on Gemzar and Tarceva, and had just begun taking vit c infusions and supplements. Our next step was cyberknife. He began having terrible pains in his liver then slowly it became hard to eat and then one day he just couldn't get anything down. It progressed very rapidly with great weight loss and hospitalization within a week. We took him home with hospice when his last ct showed mets to mesenteric area. He was unreponsive last couple days before he passed at home. I hope I am not scaring you, I just want people to understand how fast this could all happen. I wish someone had told me. My dad was only 63 and healthy- everything was going ok so I thought I had more time. When we brought him to the hospital the end of April, I thought it was for fluids and to have his bladder emptied. I had no idea that was the end. I was aware what was eventually going to happen but never imagined it like this. My dad never really read anything online and I took care of his treatments and discussions with doctors and hospitals. I always acted like everything would work out and we would find something that worked. I was afraid to really talk to him because I didn't want him to believe he was dying. I always told him I loved him but I never had an open discussion or really said the things I wanted to say. Anxiety and depression are inevitable just make the most of the time you have. Realize even if he is doing well with treatment, he can decline fast. Say and do everything today, this very minute. I would also say look into a trial. Basic Gemzar will not work very long. From everything I read the pancreatic vaccine treatment looks promising. Also cyberknife might buy you more time. I will pray for your dad and hope everyday he is the exception to this horrible cancer.
-Christine

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