my father passed away with pancreatic cancer.....

khs1613 · New User Joined: 20 Jun 2009 Posts: 5

My dad fought a tough battle with pancreatic cancer for about 1 and a half years. We went through the ups and downs of good news being that it was gone out of his pancreas and only small spots in his liver were left to hearing the devastating news that the cancer was spreading and was inoperable. We sat in the hospital in pallative care, and he was heavily sedated, and me and alot of family and friends slept in the waiting rooms for days, and then i got waken up with the bad news that his heart rate and blood pressure were dropping and that he probably didnt have much time left. We all sat in the room by his side and he was fighting it so hard, the nurse told us shes never seen such a fighter. She said she could wake him up for a bit so we could talk to him but we said no because we didnt wan to put him through the pain. I had been lying in the chair beside his bed with my mom on the other side and my brother was outside smoking. I got up to put some clothes on and as soon as i had turned around and bent down to get clothes out of my bag i heard my mom say to my cousin amber "get the nurse" i stood up with my clothes and saw my dad take a breath and after that he never took another. i think it was a blessing in disguise that my brother was outside he doesnt cope well and has panic attacks. He was 51 years old, he died on the 16th of may. we're doing okay, but me being 16 and my brother being 21 its rough. its like theres no relief, and its really not too bad until were alone and then it hits you. any ideas of anything that will help will be appreciated, but also i wanted to put the story out there and to reccommend the place my dad went to for treatments its called cancer treatment centers of america, they were good to him and he felt the best there rather then any other hospital they have a few locations.best of luck and strength to anyone going through this God Bless You.

kbosz · Regular Joined: 18 Jun 2009 Posts: 12

Thank you very much for your post, and my heart goes out to you and your family. I wish that I had some advice that I could give you, but I'm at the other end of the journey. My father was diagnosed this past Tuesday.

By the sound of things, your father was surrounded by the people that he loved the most, and I'm sure that this was of great comfort to him.

I think that the most important thing you can do is know that you are not alone in your grief. Allow for those around you to help you, just as I'm sure you do when they need it.

Grief tends to come in waves. Night times are often the worst times. But just as the night eventually gives way to dawn, remember that those moments of deepest despair will also give way, even if perhaps the pain doesn't totally subside.

Cancer does not define the patient. Our fathers are made up of a million other things, and it's important to remember those good things that they shared with us in our lives. You know your father, and you know that he would want you to live your life to the fullest. The best that you can do is to honor your father by doing just that.

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family nothing but peace and comfort as you go through your own healing process.

Kevin

icedyaria · Regular Joined: 24 Oct 2008 Posts: 22

i am so so sorry for your loss. it must be very hard to lose a parent when you are still in your teens. it seems like you have a supportive family. take your time to grieve and remember your father as the man he was in life rather than concentrating on what killed him.
if you need any further advice, comfort or just a sympathetic ear (or eye), i recommend you try this forum. the people here are incredibly supportive and most have some experience of what you are going through.
my deepest condolences, again.

yaria

khs1613 · New User Joined: 20 Jun 2009 Posts: 5

thanks again for all of the support from everyone, this site is a big help.

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