my mum is dyig of cancer

H3R1X · New User Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 2

hi, 2 years ago my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, she refused treatment, beliving that she could fight it off by dieting and an relaxed environment and stuff. she had had cancer once in the past and then she got the lump removed but did not have chemotherapy. this time she was determined to fight it off with out getting it removed even. she went on a vegan diet and started doing a lot of meditating. i urged her to at least get the treatment but she was set on beating the cancer, my mother aint the kind of person to sit back and not doing anything, so i had full confidence she would start making a recovery. a few months later she got a scan, the cancer had got a whole lot worse. she refused to believe it saying she was feeling so much better and the lump was so much smaller. she stuck to her vegan diet and about half a year later she started getting serious back pains so so she went once more to the doctors to find that the cancer had not only spead to her bones which explained her back pain but many other places like her lunges and liver. she started looking for other means of treatment other than chemotherapy she found several like; mistletoe injections,raising her body temperature and some others i think. she also had many blood transfusions because her blood had not enough iron in it. she started a fund raising money for the injections because they are expensive and the NHS wouldn't cover it . once money was raised she went down to England and got the special treatments. 1 week later she got back from Westbrom she felt good at first and started taking injections not sure how often. she however, became very ill some days and couldn't take it. this went on for several months before her through went suddenly she was taken to a hospital where they gave her some sort of treatment mum stayed in hospital for 4 weeks. she was given another scan she was given 1 month to live. she got home a few days ago and is living back in the house. but for some reason although i have had many in depth chats with her and talked to her often i can not cry. and i go on like its not evening happening i find it so incredibly unrealistic that this is happening. like some one is going to tell me that its all been a horrible joke . my mums such a strong woman, even now that shes so thin and withered she has helped me get a collage placement. is this normal for me to be in denial about her condition? i wish i could take her to places shes always wanted to go like Aisha but i cant, i want to make her last weeks special but all i can think about is that shes still going to get better even though she gave up hope a few weeks ago. it has helped so much just writing all this down. i feel extremely guilty about not being able to cry. please some one write back

sorry about bad grammar skills and such
ryan

In · Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:26 pm Post subject: Re: my mum is dyig of cancer

Hello Rhyan and welcome to the Cancer Forum, even though I wish you didn't have to join.

Your Mum seems amazing and strong, I know I couldn't be like that myself. I would have had everything under then sun to make it go away. Or if it was my love one, i think i'd be making them do the treatments or causing them much guilt for not. YOU sound amazing. You have listened to what SHE wants and you are supporting her anyway.

I don't think you are in denial, more self protecting yourself. It also sounds like this is how your mum has made you feel after so many trials and misfortunes she has had with her health.

It's ok, to feel like you can't cry. It will come. In it's own time. But please feel your emotions, as you feel them. If you need to rant, then rant- to us here if need be. If you need to cry, then find yourself somewhere comfortable to cry. let it all out.

Right now it sounds like you are being strong for your mum also. Your mum sounds like an amazing Mum. She looks towards your future with collage, helps you plan and organise a placement. She wants you to live, and know she was there with you planing it all.

Denial is normal, some times takes us longer to face what is happening, I know. But eventually you are forced to see the way things wil be. Just know we are ll here, when the time comes.

Write here about anything, if it makes you feel better.

Thinking of you, inica
_________________
Thinking of you Inica

~Nose Cancer~
~Car Accident- Broken Back, Ribs, Spleen
Sternum~
~Continous Cervical Cancer~

My Story-
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=6731

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9 Lives and still kicking Smile

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 1078 Location: UK

Hi. You are also in shock and a state of hope. All very difficult emotions to control and live with. You do not say if you have any brothers or sisters?

This link may offer you a chance to share with others of your own age: http://www.riprap.org.uk/default.asp?eid=1

I would also suggest you find the nearest Maggie Centre and ask to talk to someone. Glasgow has one of the best.

As In says, keep posting and let us know how things go.

Marsha16 · Regular Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 10 Location: Canada

My Dad used to be the one who kept me in line, now he is so thin and withered.. to use your word. I can't stand seeing him like this and up until recently I wouldn't want to be around him, because he wasn't himself obviously and I just didn't want to accept that this was my life. I never cried. Today for some reason it hit me. I couldn't stop crying, I felt guilty too before, but it's not that you don't love your mum, you just haven't cried about everyone shows their grief in different ways. Took me a while to figure that one out. Don't bother going to riprap by the way(just saw the post above mine), I looked at it because I'm 16 so I thought it would be good, but no ones' posed on the forums for like a year.

H3R1X · New User Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 2

my mum is doing well she seems to be getting better but i fear that is not the case... it works like this one day shesgreat, does to much and feels horrable for the next few days Sad

i no what you mean about it suddenly hitting you. it happened to me... i recently moved to my dads house, full time, and it was'nt until we moved the cats over. i went back to my mums house a day later to collect some of my things. my cat (amy) always comes up the stairs and rubs agaist my door frame, she never turned up and then all of a suddedn i just burst in to tears and relised what was happening!! shes getting out of roxbraugh house (medical centre/hosbital/place) soon although i dont think its a good thing becuase to be honest... if she on her own when every one is at work the care she gets from the home help is... less than mediocre.

Vee Smith · Moderator Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 1078 Location: UK

Hi - - glad to hear that your mother is making an effort. Treatment can leave a person feeling as if they have been put through a wringer, so they have no energy. There is little that can be done except ride it out and hope to have more energy in a few days. The other difficulty is making sure the home help or carer is a sympathetic one.

Does your mother have a Macmillan nurse allocated to her case? If so they can help on the business of someone coming in to help.

How about you - have you found any where that helps you?

dorvaknin1 · New User Joined: 26 Aug 2009 Posts: 1

Hey
just wanted to say your story makes me stronger to hear about the efforts and fighting that disease ..if you need another way to make it safer you can use vipairambulance as a medical transportion to the hospitel that what helped me to make it through i know how difficult it is!
\hope you will find your way..

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