my dads lung cancer

Marsha16 · Regular Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 10 Location: Canada

My daddy has lung cancer but he's not himself anymore. he is in bed around the clock and hasn't walked in weeks, hes been in bed for months. his cancer was growing and so he got put on some drug but it made him super tired and into bed all the time and his hip was always hurting. then a couple days later his cancer was confirmed to have spread to his hip and was growing in his lung. He hasnt been out since. I want to sit with him, but he just got a lung infection yesterday and has trouble breathing, it just sounds all gurgly. i cried for the first time today, my mum told me we was going to die. i guess i knew this and i try to have faith but i cant. i also feel super guilty if i think about it, i cant even write it. sometime i wish it was all over. its not that i dont love him anymore. i do so much. i want him to be better and see me apply to university and graduate and all of that. but right now he is in so much pain and not responding to me or my mum. he is not really eating or drinking. doctors come all the time, but i hate them all, i really want to just push them over our staircase. i cant do it anymore, only one of my good friends knows that he is even kind of sick. i cant look sad in front of my mum because all she does is cry and i dont want to set her off. i dont know what is right and what i should be wishing for.

thinkpink · Experienced user Joined: 12 May 2009 Posts: 79

I am sorry that you have to go through this, Marsha16. Sad

Please talk to your mum and let her know how you feel. You can provide each other with the love and emotional support that you both need so desperately at this time.

You can't just hold your feelings inside. That will make this horrible ordeal even worst for you.

I will pray for your dad, and you and your mum as well.

tp
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74 yo mother - 29 year breast cancer survivor, radical mastectomy with no radiation and no chemo and no recurrence.

Presented to the ER on April 14, 2009 with pleural effusion and pericardial effusion. Diagnosed on April 17th with stage IV adenocarcinoma NSCLC with mets to the lumbar spine. Began chemotherapy on May 1st- Carboplatin and Alimta plus Zometa for bone mets.

To read a summary of our journey: http://cancerforums.net/about12486.html

dano · Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:48 am Post subject: Re: my dads lung cancer

Marsha; This is a tough time and all your thoughts are understandable, cancer is a monster that can be very rough on it's victims. I agree with Pink that you should share with your mom what you are going through, if you can't talk to your dad, then bond with your mom, she needs to share too.
God Bless
Dan
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55 year old male, Diagnosed Nov. 9,2007 with NSCLC IV with Mets to the lymph's and brain
Had full brain radiation treatment in Jan 08 treatments now every 4 weeks with Alimta, stopped taking Lovenox for blood clots, Now working full time
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=9993

Vaness29 · New User Joined: 13 Aug 2009 Posts: 1

Hi Marsha,

I can abseloutly rely to what you are going through right now. I am 29 and from Canada also. Last June, my dad lost his short battle to cancer. He had been diagnosed in August of 2008... When i found out about it i was devastated and knew my world was never going to be the same. You never want to see the people you love the most suffer. My dad too had become more and more weak, didn't eat a lot, couldn't really walk. About 2 months before dying he lost his voice and i think that was the most difficult part, but then again it brought us closer. I left my brand new apartment to go live with him and to take care of him. It was a lot of pressure for someone in their twenties but you know you just have to do it...it's as simple as that. I know you want to be strong for your whole family but crying, yelling, confiding and just saying I love you to your dad can mean the world right now. Let him know that he's not alone, that you'll be with him every step of the way...

If you have questions or just want to confide, i am here. I guess that going through all this and living the end with my dad made me put everything into perspective... Btw, don't feel guilty about wishing it was over, i think it's a perfectly normal thing to wish for.

Be brave, strong, but also don't forget to smile and to take one day at a time

Sincerely,
Vanessa Smile

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