Please help me to help my father w/lung cancer

philmel1997

June 14, 2009, the worst day of my life. My father (57 years young) went to the hospital thinking he had pulled a muscle in his neck. A few test later we were told he had lung cancer and it had spread to his lymph nodes in his neck. They also seen a spot on his seventh vertibra and they believed it to be cancer. After alot more test they determined that the cancer was only in both lungs and the lymph nodes on both sides of his neck. He was diagnosed with non small cell adenocarcinoma. We were told it was stage III. We finally got him into Moffitt and now they believe that the spot on his spine may be cancer, so today he is having a PET scan done even though the bone scan came back negative. He has had his 2nd round of chemo that he gets every 3 weeks for a total of 6 to 8 treatments. They told him that the tumors in his lymph nodes are shrinking because they are becoming soft. But now his neck is extremely sore. Is this another sign that the cancer is shrinking?

My question is what can I do, if anything to help ease his mind about death. Everytime he gets a little sicker from the chemo he thinks he is going to die. Or everytime he goes to the doctor he is scared they will have bad news for him. I know that this is common for cancer patients but what can I do to help him.

Growing up my father was a very strong man. I just knew he was invincable but now he is completely different. He trying to be so strong and positive but I know it is so hard for him.

I just have faith that my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ will see him through this and I wish there was something I could do to help ease his mind.
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Melanie Hart

thinkpink · Experienced user Joined: 12 May 2009 Posts: 61

Hi Melanie,

I am so sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis. Just like your father thought he had a pulled muscle, we never thought that my mother's hip pain would lead us to a cancer diagnosis. Sad

This forum is invaluable, and you will find alot of information and support here. I'm not sure if your father's neck soreness means that the cancer is shrinking, but I surely pray that it does! I would suggest that you ask his doctors if that's what the soreness means. Don't hesitate to ask your father's doctors about anything that you are unsure of so that you both have a good understanding of your father's progress. Everyone responds differently to different types of treatment, so don't be afraid to ask.

And you have faith!!! SoI know that your faith in Jesus, our Reedemer, will get you through this. Death is so hard to deal with - you don't know what to say, or how to ease your loved one's mind, or even your own mind for that matter! But just cast your cares on Jesus because He is bigger than any problem or need that you have!

I will be thinking of you both and praying for you,

tp
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73 yo mother - 29 year breast cancer survivor, radical mastectomy with no radiation and no chemo and no recurrence.

Presented to the ER on April 14, 2009 with pleural effusion and pericardial effusion. Diagnosed on April 17th with stage IV adenocarcinoma NSCLC with mets to the lumbar spine. Began chemotherapy on May 1st- Carboplatin and Alimta plus Zometa for bone mets.

To read a summary of our journey: http://cancerforums.net/about12486.html

Trudy

Hello Melanie,

I along with "tp" want to encourage you all I can. This forum has been a life saver in helping me with my Mother who has been battling LC since April 08.

This place has amazing people who are so inspiring and helpful with the ins and outs of LC terminology...come here often.

It is good to hear that you have a foundation of faith...this will help you and your Father more than you know.

I have often said, as well as my Mother, we are not afraid to die, we know we wil be in the eternal arms of Jesus...it is the process...
the getting to heaven, especially when one has a serious illness such as cancer...it is really scary to endure and walk through all the unknowns of the disease...and each person's journey to heaven is unique.

Please know I will keep you and your Father in prayer.Having a support group of people who can rally around you to pray and visit and encourage your Father will do you all so much good!!!
It is vital that he stays involved in activities and be with family and friends....
that works as good as Chemo at times Smile

)

Bless you Melanie and keep us posted!
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Trudy
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86 yr old Mother has NSCLC Stage 4 diagnosed April 2008

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