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fmdrivegirl1
New User
Joined: 29 Oct 2008
Posts: 5
Location: northern british columbia
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 Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 6:33 pm Post subject: Remembering my Dad |
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It has been three years since I lost my father to pancreatic cancer and still it hurts so much. He died on October 29, 2005 while I sat next to him and held his hand. Sadly, he had been unconcious for the past 2 days so I don't know if he heard me say goodbye.
He was a wonderful man and those who loved him, loved him a lot. My life has never been the same since his death - it changed our whole family dynamic and now I feel as though there is nobody left for me.
I love you Dad and I think I'm going to miss you forever.
Lorne Henry Doiron
Died Oct 29, 2005
63 years
Always missed and remembered by his oldest;
Kelly |
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brainman
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 5617
Location: Tennessee
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pbj11
Site Admin
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 2403
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| Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 7:27 pm Post subject: Re: Remembering my Dad |
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He heard you Kelly. I KNOW they hear you even when they are unconscious. Bless you for remember your Dad so fondly and I hope the future becomes brighter for you.
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 |
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Nuh
New User
Joined: 02 Oct 2009
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 5:24 pm Post subject: Re: Remembering my Dad |
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I know it has been a while since anything was posted on this but I had to respond in hopes you will come back to this site next month.
My father passed away 18 days ago and I too had an experience like you... for the last 2 days he was unable to open his eye but he did respond to us talking and touching him and the night before he passed he spoke asking for water... I hate I will never have another conversation with my father but I can assure you... he heard every single word you or anyone else said to him.
My father knew who was by him all the time because he responded differently to us all...
He heard you...
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Dana D Phillips |
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fmdrivegirl1
New User
Joined: 29 Oct 2008
Posts: 5
Location: northern british columbia
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| Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:22 pm Post subject: Still hurts - unreal |
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Thanks Nuh. It is getting close to the day I lost my dad - still can't believe how much this gets to me. I still read these forums and still shed tears when I do. So much pain and suffering.....and loss.
I still have days where I wonder if I should have handled/done something different for my dad. There was so much I wanted to talk to him about - those thoughts still haunt me. I wish I had tried harder to get him to open up. Too much pride....too much wanting to protect his family.
But still - I think of him with much love and I still have this empty space. I guess it will never go away. So much for "easier" - which is really a relative term anyway.
My heart aches for you all - no matter what stage of this battle you are entering.
My dad was my best friend. Things have not even come close to being the same since I lost him. I still cry at the stupidest things and I miss him SO VERY MUCH. I even thought about seeing a pysic??(sorry for spelling... I am temp. losing my mind right now!) to see if I could reach him....Even though I know it is BS. - I would take the chance and spend the money.
~Anyway , here goes.....Dad - I love you so much and I STILL miss you. Four years hasn't dulled the feeling at all. You are always in my heart.
Kelly
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Ciao;
Fmdrivegirl
(Kelly) |
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Nuh
New User
Joined: 02 Oct 2009
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 6:43 pm Post subject: Re: Remembering my Dad |
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I am glad you check back in on this forum. I realize I am not alone in this...
I didn't have a long chat with my dad about all of the things I wanted to say... he knew I love him and would do anything for him. I did things for him I would never have thought possible.
I don't think the pain will ever go away. I wake up every morning and feel something missing even before I am fully awake.
I read 2 books this weekend which made me feel so much better about what he is doing now. I knew he would go to heaven but I must admit I do not go to church so I just didn't understand what happens to people after they pass...
When my father was diagnosed I was reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" I immediately returned it to my sister and told her I could not finish it. However, my other sister gve me a book by the same author, Mitch Albom, "have a little faith" I read it in one night. Great book... but I picked one up today which I just finished reading about 10 minutes ago "90 minutes in Heaven". If you get a chance I suggest reading both of these books... it eased my mind in ways I cannot explain. I wondered if my dads family and friends who passed before him would be there waiting for him and I feel settled in knowing they were. Don Piper the author of that book stated time does not pass in heaven. He said the ones there do not realize the people who are not there but they do know when someone has arrived and will be waiting for them to walk arm in arm with them. I look forward to the day I see my father again and as he tells it, in my fathers time it will only be a moment before he will see me again even though it may be many, many years here on earth.
I have never been one to express my feelings but I firmly beleive even if you did not tell your father all those things before he left... he knew what you wanted to say... he could feel it. I talk to my father every night when I lay down and I know he hears me!
It is wonderful to have someone to talk to and if you ever need someone who can relate to what you went through or just an ear please email me...
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Dana D Phillips |
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